video ==> text | @gamora

[godslay]

[ Hey, you know who hasn't graced the network in a while?

This tiny monster.

You know who understands how the network works and thinks it's neat?

That same tiny monster.

When the camera clicks on, Groot is standing way too close to the screen, and all that can be seen are his gigantic, black eyes. There's a muffled, "I am Groot?" and then he's setting the communicator down and taking a few steps back until he's mostly visible from the waist up. He waves cheerfully at the camera, and then reaches offscreen to produce...

This bad boy.

He waves it around effortlessly; even if it's already extended, it's clearly near weightless. An excellent blade, all around.

Not excellent for children, however.

Offscreen, Gamora's voice sounds distant:

"Peter, have you seen my—"

Her feet appear in the camera's view, followed by a sharp, reprimanding, ]

Groot! Give that back! You're going to hurt yourself!

[ And she's stomping over to snatch away her sword.

Groot whines when Gamora takes Godslayer, and after a brief pause, the sapling is bursting into immediate, earsplitting bawling.

Sorry to anyone next door or on the adjacent floors. ]

Ugh.

[ She scoops up her communicator, too. It takes a second for her to notice that Groot turned it on, but then she clicks off the feed. ]



[ Following after that disaster: ]

Who has experience dealing with tantrums?

Comments

action;

[nostalgiabomb]

[ So. That was a thing.

And you know what's also a thing?

Groot, screaming and flailing on the floor, while Peter kneels beside him. ]

Dude. Come on, you've gotta—

[ "calm down," is how Peter intended to finish that sentence, except Groot just shouts, ]

I! Am! Groot!

What? No, you can't—

[ —"play with the sword." But the instant Peter says, "no," the kid just starts wailing again.

Peter takes a deep breath and pinches the bridge of his nose. ]

[godslay]

[ Gamora is at a complete loss. Admittedly, the way she grew up didn't allow for tantrums, so...

What are they even supposed to do with this? ]

Groot, screaming— [ – and she raises her voice as Groot raises his – ] —is not going to get you what you want.

[ ... He pauses like he's going to stop, but...

It's literally just to take another deep breath and start up with more unreasonable screams.

Gamora growls under her breath with frustration, looking over to Peter. ]

Do we just let him wear himself out?

[nostalgiabomb]

[ Peter looks up at her for a second or two, wordlessly.

... but that's mostly because the expression on his face screams, How the hell should I know?!

He heaves out another sigh. ]

Groot, c'mon, you—

[ But the kid just starts throwing his limbs around again, slamming them against the floor and screaming. ]

... How the hell does someone so little scream that loud?

un: TheStrandInstitute

[nobasisinfact]

I do.

I assume this is about the tree?

[godslay]

I have no idea.

[ Sharp and aggravated, but Gamora finally moves forward to scoop Groot off the ground. ]

Hey.

[ She raises her voice over his again, but instead of being intimidated into stopping, his flailing arms almost whack Gamora in the face. She catches his little hand, looks him right in the eye. ]

... Absolutely not.

[godslay]

Yes. That was Groot.

He can be... unreasonable.

[nobasisinfact]

It's rare when a child isn't being unreasonable.

Have you tried replacing something more preferred?

[He resists the suggestion of coating the little tree with Miracle Grow to see if that will age it out of the toddler-like behavior.]

[godslay]

[ Peter will appreciate that joke; it would be wasted on Gamora. ]

Just distracting him?

[nobasisinfact]

For the moment.

Although at this point, it's better to give him nothing, ignore him and let him realize that this behavior does nothing toward getting what he wants.

[godslay]

So you just endure the screaming until he gets tired of it?

[ That sounds literally terrible. ]

[nobasisinfact]

[He contemplates suggesting she walk out and leave someone else to deal with it, but that's just bad parenting.]

Yes. Which should be fairly soon if he's gaining no attention for his behavior.

[nostalgiabomb]

[ Welp. Groot goes deadly silent, apparently realizing he'd definitely almost hit Gamora. It's different when he's smacking Drax or Peter, both of whom he's definitely punched or kicked in the shins.

But Gamora is definitely off-limits.

And now that the kid is silent (and Peter too, honestly, because holy shit that was close to being really fucking bad), it gives Peter a chance to think back on his own childhood, beyond the uneven application of Ravager discipline.

And he asks himself, What Would Meredith Quill Do? ]

We should— probably put him in time out.

[ This isn't new, at least. "Time out" is definitely a thing they've done. ]

text.

[madeupnames]

Oh, I don't!

[Peter that's not helpful.]

I could try tho, me and Groot are buddies.
Is that what that high-pitch noise is from up there? It's killing my ears.

[It should by all accounts shouldn't, but it's like a dog whistle to his sensitive spider-senses.]

@the.tetherer

[tetherer]

[Oh, it's this little guy again! Different username on the network, though. Maybe Peter's girlfriend?]

groot seems like he likes to regularly be a handful.
i don't have experience with children per se but perhaps you could calmly explain why you took it from him.
if he knows you did it out of concern for his wellbeing, he may see your point and calm down.

text; @falcon

[wingedman]

That tree was a lot bigger the last time I saw him.

[you know, ignoring the request for parenting advice.]

[godslay]

We put him in "time out."

[godslay]

Is he actually being that loud?

[ SHE FEELS A LITTLE BAD ABOUT THAT. ]

You can try, if you want, but I don't know what good it will do.

[godslay]

That would involve him quieting down enough to actually hear m speake over the screaming.

[godslay]

Then it was a different Groot.

[ Because she definitely thinks he means the now-dead Groot. ]

[godslay]

[ She's still dead-eyeing Groot, and she only releases the sapling's fist when Peter speaks up. ]

We should.

[ Because he's definitely earned a time out, and even though Gamora isn't entirely sure what that does for him, he at least doesn't like it.

She pulls a chair over to the corner of the room, facing the wall, and plops Groot down on the seat. ]

Sit there.

[ Sulkily, but also somewhat meekly, he plunks onto his little butt to wait out his punishment. ]

[madeupnames]

It's okay! He's little, he's allowed to act like a kid and learn how to deal, right?

I'll come down and try to help out! Be there in five!

[... Is Groot any calmer by the time he gets there?]

[godslay]

[ Groot is in time out by the time Peter shows up, so the sapling isn't actually screaming when Gamora opens up the door.

She doesn't look relieved or impressed. ]

He almost hit me, so he's sitting in the corner.

[ there u go, there's an update on the sitch. ]

[nostalgiabomb]

[ Peter heaves out a sigh, and while Groot is far from settled, he's at least quiet, for now.

He falls back heavily against the couch, still seated on the floor as he is, and drags both hands down his face. ]

... We need to figure out how to childproof this place.

[ You know. Almost half a year after Groot first popped through the portal.

It hadn't been much of an issue before, but lately... ]

Or, you know. Groot-proof it.

[ Which will surely be more work than simply childproofing it. ]

[wingedman]

[And he doesn't know the first thing about Groot, or about the Guardians' timeline - actually, he's only pieced together that they all share a universe from what Tony's told him, and now the presence of the talking tree.]

Is that what the whole species is called?

[And now he's wondering if there's a collective noun like "a forest of Groots", but he's not going to actually ask that for fear of sounding completely ignorant about talking trees.]

[godslay]

[ Gamora stands there, watching Groot for a second longer to make sure he stays put, and then goes to join Peter on the couch. ]

Does that mean we need to start putting locks in place?

[ ... she has no idea what childproofing entails. ]