video; stark

[inebriety]

[Tony has the Iron Man helmet with face plate up and one of the gauntlets on which he uses to wave at the camera. He's smiling brightly, but there are bags under his eyes and the flush to his cheeks are from more than just excitement.]

Some of you might remember a certain someone's offer to trade junk into something better. Please be sure to get the right guy because I don't work for scraps. If you have trouble telling us apart, other me is highly strung and a little sensitive.

[He taps his fingers against his chin.]

Perhaps we should change names as well. I was already thinking of rebranding Iron Man and getting a new paint job. And he can be... do you think he'd mind if I called him Greg? Or is that a little too morbid using a dead man's name? He'd have to dye his hair too, we look terrible in white otherwise...

[He picks up a bottle with his uncovered hand and takes a drink.]

Okay, it probably is. This silly event has got me maudlin I see.

Comments

video, un: falconwings; private

[wingedman]

[Sam just covers his face for a moment because jesus christ Tony did you have to go and poke the hornet's nest with a stick?

...of course he did, he's Tony Stark.]

So did you just decide to piss everyone off 'cause you were drunk and bored? Because that's sure as hell what it looks like to me.

[inebriety]

[He's drunk and miserable and thought this wasn't a half-bad idea. Just that natural self-destructive Tony Stark tendencies shining through.]

You wound me with how poorly you think of me.

[wingedman]

It's not that I think poorly of you, it's that you seem to have natural antagonistic tendencies. Like poking a beehive with a stick, or making genocidal robots just because you can.

[Although the latter isn't strictly antagonistic. Shh.]

[inebriety]

[Wait...]

Are you trying to pin Ultron on me?

[wingedman]

I mean, it kinda was, but apparently not in your world.

[inebriety]

I may be an incorrigible asshole, but I have never produced something that came back to bite me in the ass.

[wingedman]

[Sam has his doubts about that one, because he thinks it's an essential part of all Tony Starks.]

Glad to see even you have your limits. Who's responsible for that one, then?

[inebriety]

Hank Pym.

With absolutely no input from me.

[Just to make it clear.]

[wingedman]

He must be a lot more interesting in every other universe, everyone keeps talking about the guy.

[Spoken like someone who doesn't know the Hank Pym in his universe.]

[inebriety]

[Tony doesn't say anything for far too long. He's trying not to insult the dead, but Hank was... Hank.]

Let's just say you're not missing much.

[wingedman]

He exists, he's just not Ant-Man. But Scott mentioned him once or twice while we were locked up on the Raft.

[Scott has this thing where he rarely stops talking. Which is totally great when you're locked up in prison with him, as one might imagine.]

[inebriety]

Who's Scott?

[Even if Tony wasn't drunk, he'd still have a hard time remembering a random guy on the Giant-Men crew. Cassie yes, but not Scott.]

[wingedman]

Scott Lang, he's the Ant-Man in our world. Hank's protege, apparently. Has a bit of a hate-on for Starks.

[Not that Sam knows why, but it's none of his business.]

[inebriety]

[The plural so his family?]

Any relation to Cassie Lang? I don't see what my family's done to piss him off though.

[wingedman]

Yeah, he's got a little girl named Cassie.

[Who he at least knows is a superhero in the 616 verse, thanks to Loki.]

As for the second, your guess is as good as mine. You're welcome to ask him if you run into him, though.