[ text | un: anonymous ]

[supersweet]

If someone takes control of you, does that mean that there's something bad in you all along?

How do you get rid of it?

Comments

@a.parrish

[antietam]

[ That's a sore spot. ]

Maybe. Or maybe it means you have some sort of susceptibility.

I'm not sure it can be fixed alone, though.

[supersweet]

So I have to fix it with someone else?

[antietam]

If you can't stop yourself from being possessed, someone else is going to have to do it. Even just stopping you from hurting others would be useful until you can find a solution.

Is that something to worry about here?

[supersweet]

I don't think it's gonna happen again. I think this guy had this planned for months.

[antietam]

Did it happen here? Who was it?

[supersweet]

No, it happened at home. I just remembered it.

[ Looong pause. ]

It was a man named Manchester Black.

[antietam]

[ He's just relieved (presumably) no one here can do that. ]

Ah. I don't know. Even if it can never happen again, it's hard to stop being afraid of it. Or worry that there's still a little piece of it in you.

What did he make you do?

[supersweet]

He made me hurt my family. My home.

It all worked out but . . . I feel weird inside.

[antietam]

Guilty? Even if people say it wasn't you, you still hate that it happened?

[supersweet]

Yeah, like that. People could have gotten really hurt.

[antietam]

Yeah. It's like you're tainted afterwards, forever.

[ This is not helping either of them. ]

Maybe there's a way to balance out what you did.

[supersweet]

How? By doing something good?

Is there anything good enough?

[antietam]

Enough good things have to balance out a few bad things, right?

Maybe even stopping it from happening to someone else, if you get the chance.

[supersweet]

Do you think I can do that?

[antietam]

Well, I don't know who you are, but you seemed concerned enough about it that I don't see why not.

I guess you need to do what you have to in order to forgive yourself.

[supersweet]

I have to try to get better. That's still something.

Thanks. It's been rough.

private

[antietam]

That's a good goal to have.

[ ... it hits him enough to change this to private after a moment. ]

I think I'm still figuring out how to deal with something like this too. Maybe keeping an eye on each other would help?

[ private video ]

[supersweet]

[ Jon hesitates. More than ever, he's sick of secrets. He's sick of hiding. Hamilton, his home hid from him. Lied to him. So did Kathy. After some deliberation, he switches to video. ]

What was it like for you?

[ private video ]

[antietam]

[ Oh. He doesn't expect to see Jon on the other end and he shows his surprise for a moment.

He wouldn't have been so pessimistic if he'd known he was talking to a kid, but... oh well. He's going through what Adam is going through, too. ]

The worst. [ He looks away from the camera, clearly ashamed of himself. It's easier to talk about it to someone like Jon, though. ] It was a demon, not a person. It took over my hands and eyes and it... made me almost kill my boyfriend. It can't control me anymore, but I still think about it all the time.

[supersweet]

He . . . He really hated my dad. He strapped me to a chair and made me watch — [ Jon bites his lip, his courage failing him. ]

[antietam]

You don't have to talk about it if it's too hard. I understand, remembering everything you did when it happened. [ He really wishes he had the solution. ]

Did you ever talk to your family about it?

[supersweet]

[ Jon wipes his face with his palm. ]

I know I gotta tell my dad here about it. But . . . how do I tell him that? I could have hurt him.

[antietam]

I think... he'll understand. He knows who you are, and that it wasn't you. He can probably give better advice than I can.

But, like I said, we'll help each other through it. You're not alone.

[supersweet]

[ Jon sniffles. ]

Yeah. I mean, he's gone and it worked out. Maybe I'm just being stupid.

[antietam]

It's... it's not stupid. [ It's difficult how much he can relate. ] It was an awful thing to have happen. No one should ever take away your free will like that.

And it's hard to recover when someone does. But how do you feel when you do good things?