Voice; @the.boneless Can't hurt feelings when there's none there

[ragnarsson]

[It's the early morning, so early some might still consider it to technically be part of the night. Deal with it, people, he cares nothing about your sleeping schedules. The only reason he's up this early is his left leg is aching and won't stop. Ah, the thrills of having a disease that create brittle bones easily. So he's bored and this is what he's left to do: bug all of you until he can get back to sleep.]

Serious question time. What does a conscience feel like? In detail, if you don't mind. Or, if you're like me and don't have one, what does empathy feel like?

[This has been on his mind as of late. Blame talks with guilt-ridden ex-assassins he's had. Ivar's been thinking a lot about it. He can fake the latter to some degree, but the former has never much bothered him, which does explain why killing comes so easily to him.]

Comments

@a.parrish

[antietam]

[ He's awake to get homework done, but a break can't hurt. ]

What does it feel like to not have a conscience?

cw: gore

[ragnarsson]

Kind of hard to explain. I just don't feel bad about the things people should feel bad about. For an example, my brothers and I killed a king in a very horrible manner before we got here. We shoved nails through his hands and then blood-eagled him, which involves tearing open someone's back and pulling their lungs out while they're still alive.

[He sounds positively gleeful describing the brutal way in which they tortured a man to death.]

I figure most normal people might feel a little bit bad about that, maybe have some nightmares if they aren't feeling it in their waking hours. Me? I'm only sad I was only able to kill him once.

[antietam]

It depends. I mean, did he deserve it? There's no reason to feel bad if you thought he did. [ Or maybe that's just Adam. He's pretty sure he has a conscience, he just doesn't feel the way it tells him he should. ]

I think a conscience is a construct of societal norms, which is why most hear voices of people they know in their heads. Would you feel bad if you killed someone who you liked?

[ragnarsson]

Of course he deserved it. He murdered my father.

[Just one man wasn't going to be enough for revenge. Maybe when he'd razed the whole of England to the ground, Ivar would finally be satisfied.

The question he answers without the slightest bit of hesitation.]

No. Not a bit.

[Ivar's impulses would get him in trouble sooner rather than later, but short of killing a family member, he's never felt bad about killing anyone before.]

[antietam]

[ It's a good thing he isn't on video, because his lip curls distastefully at the answer. It's one thing to murder someone who deserves it, it's another to kill without any remorse at all. ]

Why are you asking about this then? It doesn't sound like you want to gain any empathy.

[ragnarsson]

Mainly for the sake of curiosity. I want to learn about something that I don't possess and see if it's possible for me to gain what I lack.

[Or at least fake it. There had to be some advantage to being able to feel empathy for other people.]

[antietam]

So you want empathy or a conscience.

All you have to do is determine what the people in Riverview see as good or bad and follow those rules.

[ragnarsson]

The problem is that good and bad are such subjective terms. What was seen in my home among Vikings as being alright isn't the same here.

[Namely, doing things like trying to kill people for things like insulting him.]

[antietam]

Yeah, but there are a few things that people here seem to agree on.

Namely, murder is pretty bad. Also assault. [ He remembers what Dodger told him about Ivar so that seems important to mention. ] Theft... I feel like that covers most things.

[ragnarsson]

See, that's where everyone else here and I disagree on. Killing someone isn't cause for punishment where I'm from, not always. Life is hard and requires a brutal way to survive. [So the Vikings would murder and pillage to keep their way of life intact.]

Stealing, though, that's pretty bad. I'd never do that. We hang people for that where I'm from. [Mainly because to steal was to condemn a man to possibly not survive if you took what was most valuable to it. The Vikings had skewed priorities when it came to the law.]