[ there was a time when those words would not have been honest when he would have tempered them with the intent to speak all the truths that were necessary rather than there. but this time, Tony does mean it. even if what he has to tell Steve might fracture them apart all over again. there were something things that were lost over time that Tony thought were worth the fight to get back; Steve's trust was one of them.

when he looks at the situation from Steve's point of view, from when and where he came from, Tony understands a little more. can see how his actions look, and while he can't change what he did or what happened, he can give Steve what he asked for.]

I didn't think-- [ his eyes flicker down, lines marring the skin between his brows as he looks for words in the cup of coffee. ] It wasn't that important, not in comparison to being here, now. There was more I needed to focus on here, helping build things and keeping people safe here. Not worrying about the potential could bes.

[ it isn't an excuse, it was his legitimate thought process; like with Carol, Tony was aware that the possibility of something happen in the future was left to unfolding events. he could build up the present to prepare for it, to honour that possible future, or he could fear it.

Tony refused to fear the future. ]

I want to say I would tell you, if it came up. If we talked. [ a pause as he looks up, brows still creased with thought and worry and sorrow as he looks at the man that he used to call friend. that he used to rely on for so much. he wondered if they could ever be that again, of if the bridges they had crossed had also been burned. ] I didn't make an active attempt to hide it from you, if that is what you mean.