Voice. (possible action outside of the wall) | un: ilikehorses

[shoplifter]

[It's been... a hell of a last two weeks for Laura. She had woken up with a chunk of memory inexplicably gone, uninjured as always, and yet — the faintest scent of blood under her scrubbed nails. She wasn't in a hospital, but some big room with heavy doors and Linda the social worker; her head was bandaged, her look one of bone-deep concern as she sits beside the girl.

Oh. The memory of her recapture sits heavy in her gut. The collar, the chair, the network recording, just before everything vanished from her mind. Linda runs a hand through her hair and explains things basically: Shiloh came, he took her, and he used something on her to control her. But it's fine now — all fine, his body was found, he can't do anything anymore.

Laura looks tiredly skeptical at the whole thing. She asks if she killed anybody. Linda dodges the question, which is answer enough. "We just... what he used might still be in effect, so we're making sure you're back to yourself." Linda knows her bad history with rooms like this. Maybe it's why it's so big and spacious.

But she stays, and days pass, and she's not sure what happens outside. She just knows people are dead, and she hasn't any clue who. There's something terrifying about not remembering if you took a life, even if such an act is too easy for someone like her.

When she's finally cleared to leave, there's a paranoia in her that maybe she isn't.

So she steers clear and packs a bag and runs away into the woods. But she at least leaves Linda little note this time, so she doesn't pull her hair out panicking. Out there where she can find comfort in isolation, she makes herself known on the network; she doesn't use text. It feels like an easy out.]

I do not remember... what happened. I know a man did something to make me hurt people, but...

[A pause, heavy and unsure how to proceed; but the guilt is there to carry her forward.]

I am sorry for any pain or suffering I caused.

I will be staying outside the wall for a little while, to make sure I am not a danger.

[She thought she'd maybe figure out something to say after that, but...

Her mouth just sort of freezes there.]

Comments

voice

[indigobird]

[It's a relief to be hearing from her. Hawke had considered messaging her, but A) she wondered if her phone was still broken and B) she wasn't sure if she had the means to reply. Yet despite the relief she feels, Laura's words do more to break her heart. She's not sure if it's for the better or not that Laura can't remember what happened. It'd drive her crazy, if she were in her shoes, but not having the memories haunt her might be better in the end.]

It wasn't your fault. [That much needs to be made clear firstly.] Will you be all right out there? It's a rather dangerous and lonely place for a girl to be for any period of time.

text ; @hagane (idk how he knows it's her but whatevs)

[jintetsu]

[... ah. So that's what happened to claw girl.

It takes Jintetsu a while to figure out whether he should say something. He probably shouldn't. She killed people, even if she doesn't remember it. She nearly killed him, though he's mostly on the mend. Better if he doesn't try to associate with her.

... And yet.]

you okay ?

voice

[shoplifter]

[The quick defense makes her wonder if she'd hurt Hawke — or if she'd been involved. The thought unsettles her. How can she not remember something like that? How could she cause all this trouble, but nothing comes to mind, not even the faintest recollection? She swallows hard and resists the urge to beat herself up, both mentally and physically.

Instead she considers her questions carefully.]

It is more dangerous to be in the city, right now.

If I am alone, there is no one to drug me, and no one for me to hurt.

[It's a temporary band-aid on the situation, in her eyes.]

text ;

[shoplifter]

[Laura has no recollection of meeting him anyway, so you know. That's something. Instead she considers it's potentially someone who just wants to check in on a kid using the network — the message isn't exactly subtle. (Or maybe you hurt him, or hurt someone he cared about, or killed someone he knew-)

What a question, though. She really has to consider that for a second there.]

I have been worse.

[jintetsu]

[Has she, though? It's a mercy if she really doesn't remember her actions, but ... still, that kind of guilt crushes the life out of you.]

the nights are getting colder lately
you know how to make a campfire ?

voice.

[11calls]

Laura, this is your home, you don't need to hide out there because someone else made you do something.

voice.

[gristle]

You can't just live out in the woods. That's fucked up.

[shoplifter]

I do. I learned from someone before they left.

But even if I did not, the cold would not kill me.



Who are you?

voice.

[shoplifter]

I hurt people. They might be nervous to see me.

[It's to protect herself and them. But also—

She's a little frightened, to meet someone she may have hurt. She couldn't remember a thing, not a single face, and... and who knows who was involved. Or who loved someone involved. And what if they're wrong, and there's still a trigger scent out there? And she attacks again?

She's anxious and unsure, and so here she is.]

... The woods aren't so bad. They're peaceful, when the monsters are not around.

voice.

[shoplifter]

Even if I did not cause it, I am the one who did it.

... Some people will not feel comfortable around me, right now.

[jintetsu]

[It takes him a minute or two to decide how to answer that.]

jintetsu of steel . we only met briefly

[indigobird]

[Hawke would still say the same, even if she wasn't involved. Luckily, Laura never hurt her (can't say the same for poor Jim though...) She sustained more injuries killing Shiloh, but every scratch and dent was worth it.]

No one's going to drug you again. At least, that man certainly isn't. But... I get it. [She sighs.] I'd probably want to stay away for a while, too. Are you going to have enough supplies?

Re: voice.

[gristle]

But there are monsters there! You can’t have to stay out where there are monsters when you didn’t do anything wrong!

[jolting]

[Something about this rings a familiar tune in his heart]

Listen, I don't really know what happened with you, but I had a friend who did terrible things. She hurt people, too. She didn't have control over it and it doesn't sound like you did, either.

But the people who knew and loved her understood. You do whatever you feel you have to, but I bet the people who know and love you will understand. I bet they don't see you as a danger.

[11calls]

And I get that, but Laura you were a victim too. You shouldn't need to be away from your people and your home right now.

[shoplifter]

Did I try to murder you.

voice.

[shoplifter]

... I can handle the monsters. It's what I was made for — it's easy.

[shoplifter]

[She cocks her head to the side, thoughtful.]</small. What about the people who do not love or know me? Will they understand?

[jintetsu]

yeah kind of . or i got in the way at least . ill be fine

[shit. this isn't helping at all, is it? everything he wants to tell her, he can't, knowing anybody could be reading it...]

[jolting]

You're a kid who had someone force you to do things against your will. If people don't understand that, they're the monsters here.

[shoplifter]

... I think I do. I'll come to town sometimes if I run out.

[She considers her with some curiosity.]

Do you know what happened to him? The man with the metal arm?

voice

[tempredmental]

...

[Keith didn't speak right away. He'd been through this with Shiro already... and now here was someone else apologizing for something that, while pretty horrible, wasn't her fault. She'd been controlled into it.

After a bit, though, he did.]

Hey... you were forced. You didn't have control over what you did.

Are you okay?

[shoplifter]

... I will not feel very comfortable around people, either.

[It's a quiet admission, because as much as this is for the people she hurt—

It's for her, too.]

[11calls]

[Alex couldn't deny her that, she didn't quite understand the sentiment, but she wanted Laura to be comfortable while she dealt with what had happened and what that bastard had made her do. So Alex just took a little bit of a breath before she spoke.]

Well, when you're ready for a little bit of company, let me know and Apo and I'll come visit. We'll bring some cake or something. I'm sure we've still got food coloring.

[From the rainbow cake, Richard had made for her birthday.]

[shoplifter]

I am glad you'll be alright.

Please make sure you visit the hospital if you haven't.

[... She may hate it and have issues with hospitals, but she can at least understand the benefit.]

If there is anything you want to know, it seems fair to try and answer it.