Hard. When I saw all my brothers doing everything first, I was always left trying to catch up to them. I was always trying to prove I could do anything they could, be with any woman they were with, be better with any weapon than they were.

[There's a lot of insecurity lurking right below the surface in Ivar. Sometimes, he thinks that Sigurd was right, and that his whole family only felt pity for him. Why else would they pay him any attention? It couldn't be because he was actually good at what he pushed himself to do now, was it?]

On the other hand, I definitely got more attention from my mother than any of them, so that was nice.