[The guilt and pain doesn't leave his expression until Nico tells him to stop thinking about the past so much. He can't help the laugh that escapes, quick and rueful, more of a scoff than anything. It reminded him of what Izumi said years ago, but this- this was different.]

Then I guess I already know what my future holds.

[He's not going to beat around the bush on that topic, Ed knew his life was full of regret. Regardless of this situation with Al, if regret guaranteed him any sort of afterlife it didn't take much convincing that he was destined for that exact outcome.]

I'm not focusing on the past, I'm focusing on the future. We can't forget the past if we're going to learn from it. If one of us leaves we'll have to start over again, it's the same thing over and over. Every time.

[A pause, considering before speaking again. Lucky for Nico he doesn't blush, but Ed does, gaze lowering pointedly and waving a hand as if that indicated anything. He really didn't want to talk about this, it was bad enough when Jason brought it up.]

Last time I had to think about this I didn't exactly have much of a frame of reference for- any of that, it's... different now. I just can't see myself- being with him physically.

[There okay, he said it. Was Nico happy? Why did all of his friends insist on asking about his sex life?]