[Video | UN: threewings]

[heavenfell]

[She is on a rooftop, one hand - almost protectively - on her abdomen. She looks content enough, her gaze fixed on the horizon. What she looks for is only known to her.]

What do you think of one person - one soul - living multiple lives? There are religions that embrace it, but to others it is considered...wrong; maybe even evil.

[Wicked punishments for wicked angels. She sits near the edge of the roof, dangling her legs as if she is not several stories up.]

I wished to be a man. I thought my life would be easier. But I was being naive.

Comments

[neverbeentogeorgia]

You are mistaken, yet again. Stop being so rash. It is unbecoming for a woman your age.

If you cannot be a woman who defends what she wishes to protect with her might, then that is your wish. But there are just as many women as there are stars in the sky, and surely not every woman has the same wish as you. Your words eliminate more than just your own despised history, they casually erase the validity of others. If you care as much for others as you claim to, have more care in the words you utter and think how they may affect those around you first.

[heavenfell]

[He leaves her scowling, reexamining herself while she casually fights the urge to harm him. That is a bad habit of hers - like a cat that is feeling threatened - and it is only after she has done damage that she regrets it. This time she knows that all the time she spent in the garden and fast asleep has done her no favors. There are parts of herself and others that she simply fails to grasp.

She wants to be strong, but she never ever wanted to kill. There is blood on her hands that paints her not only as a soldier - a lethal one at that - but also a murderer. She has to deal with that guilt and find some way not to hate herself. Rejecting her femininity isn't the answer.]

- a woman my age? [Is he calling her old? How dare he.] I'm not senile yet.

[voice; private]

[neverbeentogeorgia]

[ He is aware that, even more than himself, her extreme isolation and the destiny then thrust upon her after have left her development--emotionally and socially and psychologically, anyhow--stunted. But it is a part of his own stunted growth that he has never been good at taking it easy on anyone, and that even his efforts to teach and instruct come packaged brusquely. But at least living as Kira taught him even that much. ] Which is why it's unacceptable. Grasp hold of your faculties: you are neither child nor elder, but a woman who has existed a long time, through many lives. Did you really learn nothing from any of them? Was Arachne not a woman? Nor Kurai?

[voice; private]

[heavenfell]

They are pure. [She has a kinder view of others. Arachne and Kurai follow (followed for the former) their hearts. If they killed along the way, so what? She thinks they are - and will always be - beautiful. When she looks at herself, all she sees are flaws. Even her physical perfection felt that way to her. Because she was born perfect, Rosiel was...deeply flawed.

It isn't fair and she blames herself because she sure as hell can't blame god or Adam Kadamon. But she hears him and she knows her greatest failure might just be in her self-hatred. She is strong enough to overcome and see herself as...equal...to those she admires.]

Kurai held me on a pedestal. She was determined to marry me. I thought she was just being kind. I was always...

hard...on myself.

[neverbeentogeorgia]

[ Fool. The word is on the tip of his tongue, but he forces himself to swallow it down. What good will it do to ridicule her further when she is already doing a good enough job tearing herself apart? ]

You are still hard on yourself. If ever there was a pure creature in this world, it was you.

[heavenfell]

[He surprises a laugh out of her. She is well-aware that she is one of the greatest of fools.]

You could have gone through with it; defiling me. But you never did.

Maybe I'm not the pure one.

/2

[neverbeentogeorgia]

[ that startles abrupt laughter out of him ]

What, and lost both my eyes and maybe a hand for it?

[neverbeentogeorgia]

[ there's a pause between messages, one that you'd have to really know him in order to understand that there was awkwardness and hesitation before continuing ]

There are many reasons I am glad that I did not succeed in forcing you, not the least of which is that that is not the way I wished to be with you.

1/2

[heavenfell]

Actually I would have taken a part further south. [She is absolutely serious, but there is a faint tinge of amusement.]

[heavenfell]

[She is surprised - not so much by his admittance but by how his words make her chest ache.]

You did not force me nor trick me when it finally happened. I was glad it happened.

[neverbeentogeorgia]

[ He doesn't sound particularly threatened, but neither does he attempt to challenge her claim or get combative. ] Well, there, you see? We would have both been disadvantaged if I had been lacking certain parts of myself.

[heavenfell]

I would have missed it, that's true. [Alexiel. This is why she can't be a proper lady!] With how my body regenerates, it never mattered what was cut off. I would have seen it returned to you eventually.

[neverbeentogeorgia]

[ "Proper" ladies sound pretty boring anyway. Who wants to be prim and proper all the time anyway? Lucifer would either die of boredom or frustration.

He shrugs--not that she can see it. ]

It probably wouldn't have mattered significantly in the long run either way. I did have my eye again when next you saw me--and I've lost more body parts more times than I can count. I could probably reattach it the same as the rest without any worries about performance, psychological effects aside.

[ And honestly even that is dubious; it's not like any of her other attempts on his life really slowed his roll.... ]

[heavenfell]

[She can't have him dying of either! All of heaven and most of hell know she is as far from proper as one can get. Well, maybe some of the demons went further - she, at least, is very loyal to those she loves (even if that means hurting them).]

You did. Your depth perception was not compromised eternally. [The rest, she remembers and if he listens, he will be able to hear a quiet sigh.] No, I'd rather it - along with the rest of you - be in one piece. I'm not like my brother; I don't mean to disturb or haunt you.

[neverbeentogeorgia]

About that.

[ he pauses. This is sort of an awkward subject? Not to mention a weird. ]

Just what exactly... is going on there?

[heavenfell]

With Rosiel? [This will take some delicate wording.] He is resting inside of me. I will keep him protected and free of decay.

[neverbeentogeorgia]

[ Guess who isn't and never will be the master of tact? ]

So he's incubating then?

[heavenfell]

[She arches a brow. Really. Incubating? Like a bird or a virus?]

His soul requires little room. I won't start to look pregnant.

[neverbeentogeorgia]

[ Look. Weirder things have happened in AS than immaculate conception. ... Even if the one being conceived would be her brother. See: Metatron, or the army of cannibalistic babies growing on the roots of a tree made from their mom's eyeball. ]

Just checking. So when you say he's resting, you mean he's not awake.

[heavenfell]

[Or her eating her mom's eyeball. Yum.]

He is dreaming. Before he fell asleep [died] he transferred his power to me.