ohhmrburnsides: <div class="ljuser" site="twitter.com"><img src="https://p.dreamwidth.org/e0caa790ec10/-/twitter.com/favicon.ico" alt="[twitter.com profile] " style="vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;" width="16" height="16" /><a href="http://twitter.com/thecowboyhero">thecowboyhero</a></div> (Default)
The Hammer, in some circles ([personal profile] ohhmrburnsides) wrote in [community profile] riverview2018-03-31 04:12 pm

video posted by @ruffboi | date: April 1st

[The video opens on Magnus and Lucretia, cuddled up side by side on a couch, holding hands in a very Cute Suburban Couple manner. At first they're not even looking at the camera; rather, they're looking at each other, whispering things with grins plastered across their faces... which are very close to each other. It's a bit uncomfortable, maybe, for someone who might be watching. The mic pics up something like, "You go first," "No, you go first," in exaggerated baby-talk voices.]

Okay, okay, [says Lucretia, who waves at the camera with a free hand (although the other is still holding Magnus's),] I'll go first. Hello, Riverview!

Hey-o!

We're reaching out to all of you today because we have some very exciting news.

[The pair look at each other again and it's like they're making googly-eyes at each other. Gross. Then, they turn back to the camera to announce in tandem,]

We're getting married!

And we're announcing this to the whole network because—

We want everyone to be there!

Yes, absolutely. We want the entire city of Riverview to attend.

In fact, it's required.

Okay, well—

Required.

Alright, yes, [says Lucretia, her expression beginning to crack into a goofy grin,] every citizen in Riverview is required to attend.

[Magnus, on the other hand, has not budged an inch from this facade they've built.] We don't have a date yet.

This is true. We also haven't picked a venue yet.

We're getting there.

Weddings are tricky business, aren't they, dear? [This is her segue into the video's end.] I'd like to go on record to thank my wonderful maid of honor, Lup, for encouraging me to propose—

And the best man, Barry Bluejeans—obviously—for bringing us together in the first place!

[Lucretia giggles at that, and tosses in, softly,] Sorry, Taako.

We can't wait to see you all there! [Magnus turns again to Lucretia, making those ridiculous puppy dog eyes.] Can we, pumpkin?

No, we can't, sweetheart.

I love you, honey bear.

[Lucretia starts breaking again. It's clear she's trying to contain laughter.] I love you too, love muffin.

[Magnus leans in until their noses are touching.] Sweetie pie.

Lemon drop.

Sugar cookie. [He puckers up for a (very goofy) kiss, but before it lands Lucretia's face scrunches. As she reaches to turn the phone off, there is an almost imperceptible snigger.

Below the video player is the following image:]



spellslots: DNT (I wanna be a real fake)

video; @fromTV

[personal profile] spellslots 2018-03-31 11:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Fucking Bluejeans?!

[He's so offended, how dare they? How dare MAGNUS? He should be the best man of this fake wedding.]
alldenim: (006)

@NerdAlert

[personal profile] alldenim 2018-03-31 11:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Wait I brought you together?

[ AT LEAST STICK WITH A CONSISTENT STORY ]
trashvalkyrie: (05)

video; @scrapper142

[personal profile] trashvalkyrie 2018-03-31 11:23 pm (UTC)(link)
I want financial compensation for the lunch I just lost.
spellslots: (and was killed)

[personal profile] spellslots 2018-03-31 11:24 pm (UTC)(link)
I'll fucking sell them, asshole. You're both dead to me.

[He can't believe they've done this.]
tevinteraltus: {<user name="curled">} (017)

@d.pavus

[personal profile] tevinteraltus 2018-03-31 11:27 pm (UTC)(link)
[Thankfully, he'd been prepared.]

How deliciously saccharine.

[That was with a wince.]

I am, of course, happy for the both of you. I'll forward a congratulatory fruit basket as soon as I'm able.

In the mean time, I'm simply going to ask you let me know as soon as possible when you've chosen attire for the occasion. It wouldn't due for me to outshine the bride and groom.
alldenim: (007)

[personal profile] alldenim 2018-03-31 11:29 pm (UTC)(link)
You got plot holes in your scam for bridal registry shit.
spellslots: (until you are dead)

[personal profile] spellslots 2018-03-31 11:30 pm (UTC)(link)
It's the principal of the thing! We've been here together for months but Barry shows up and now you're BFFs?

[He's mostly just being overdramatic but there's maybe like 1% of his feelings that are hurt at being left out.]
luckyescape: (EARS I have them)

un: wolfgirl579 - Video

[personal profile] luckyescape 2018-03-31 11:32 pm (UTC)(link)
You two are too cute.

[She honestly can't take it.]

I'm not sure how weddings work here and I know either of you but I'll probably pop in to say congrats. [And swipe some food.]
scholiast: <user name=itsmyhugbear site=tumblr.com> (★ lmfao)

video

[personal profile] scholiast 2018-03-31 11:43 pm (UTC)(link)
I'll handwave the mandatory $15 RSVP fee.
scholiast: <user name=rabdoidal site=tumblr.com> (☆ big book fulla secrets)

text; @chronicler

[personal profile] scholiast 2018-03-31 11:44 pm (UTC)(link)
You absolutely did; I'll never forget this great kindness
franciscoramon: (:? although...)

@ciscodelamancha | text

[personal profile] franciscoramon 2018-03-31 11:45 pm (UTC)(link)
one of you please text me later and tell me how much money you make on this absolutely brazen grift

(bc i'll be expecting a % of that for emotional distress damages natch 💸)
scholiast: <user name=pixelameart site=twitter.com> (☆ laughter)

video

[personal profile] scholiast 2018-03-31 11:47 pm (UTC)(link)
(Lucretia's barely holding it together now.)

Naturally. We've actually been in discussions with them about a double wedding?
spellslots: (I don't know why but I feel conned)

[personal profile] spellslots 2018-03-31 11:49 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm calling the police.

[for this crime??? he doesn't know what crime but they've definitely done a crime against him]
scholiast: <user name=_sukekou site=twitter.com> (★ good joke)

video

[personal profile] scholiast 2018-03-31 11:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you. (Lucretia is extremely close to losing it at this point.)

That's very kind; the more the merrier.
luckyescape: (Default)

[personal profile] luckyescape 2018-03-31 11:51 pm (UTC)(link)
[She wants to roll her eyes at him but smiles politely anyway.

Human's are so weird.]


Sure thing.
luckyescape: (Default)

video

[personal profile] luckyescape 2018-03-31 11:51 pm (UTC)(link)
You don't seem as thrilled.

[Now she's curious.]

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