text; un: worstwitch

[bastardofipswich]

M4M SEEKING: NEW ARCH-ENEMY
18yo swm in search of new arch-enemy!! i took a 3 month long nap and my old one left the city with his gf :(

must be:

• male
  
• ages 17-21
  
• btwn 5'10" - 6'3"
  
• athletic
  
• able to take a beating
  
• magic OR otherwise superpowered
  
• annoyingly moral
  
• bicuriosity a plus
  

it would also help if you had an annoying group of friends i could use as leverage against you. interested parties can get in touch with Chase Collins @worstwitch!!


ps: pls include a headshot

Comments

Voice; @the.boneless

[ragnarsson]

Oh look, you're not dead.

[Ivar's standard reaction when people disappear and reappear.]

You know, I do happen to fit in with most of that description. Except for being moral. Morality is for people who actually give a shit about others.

text; thunderer

[worldsaway]

Male: ✓
Age: ???
Height: 6'4
Athletic: ✓ ✓
Able to take a beating: ✓ ✓ ✓
Superpowered: ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓
Annoyingly moral: ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓
Bicurious: ????

And I already find you insufferable, so we're off to a good start.

[dothelokimotion]

@r.lynch | text

[somnioergosum]

what kind of loser puts out an ad looking for someone to beat up

[bastardofipswich]

it's not like i made them up myself

why? are you actually interested in playing any?

[bastardofipswich]

against another person! not a dinosaur that managed to beat extinction!
do i look like paul hogan to you?

[bastardofipswich]

ooooh playing enemy matchmaker
i like it
but i'm gonna need a headshot

i've got standards

[dothelokimotion]

Your standards were a group of annoying friends.

But here.

[bastardofipswich]

Oh. Is this giving you villain vibes? My bad.

[bastardofipswich]

Only the cool ones.

[bastardofipswich]

[ And in this case: Chase totally was dead! ]

Oh, man... See, this is tough. My last arch-enemy gave a shit about everyone, and that's what made it so fun. But you do tick most of my boxes...

[ DECISIONS, DECISIONS... ]

[bastardofipswich]

oh you flatter me ;)
but i'm gonna need a headshot
i ONLY arch 10s

[ Is 'arch' even a word he can use here? WHATEVER. ]

[bastardofipswich]

if you think a long term arch enemy relationship is as simple as 'looking for someone to beat up' then idek what to say!
i pity you :\

[bastardofipswich]

that's only one of them
looks are important here too

[ Okay hmmm. ]

dude looks like the kurgan
i'm looking for boy scout types!

[dothelokimotion]

I don't know what that is.

[bastardofipswich]

omg
he's the bad guy from highlander
you HAVE to watch it sometime

[ ATTACHMENT. ]

[dothelokimotion]

Why does he have only one sleeve of chainmail?

[bastardofipswich]

[ REALLY, LOKI? THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE FOCUSING ON?

...

Space vikings. ]

because he's such a badass he's not even A LITTLE WORRIED about protecting his right arm

[dothelokimotion]

He looks like someone who got lost frequently.

[bastardofipswich]

look
what he lacks in brains
he makes up for in decapitations!

[dothelokimotion]

Messy.

Though I suppose it guarantees a swift and total end.

[worldsaway]

You don't want for much, do you?
Who cares what my face looks like? What really matters is whether you can punch it.

[Kids these days just don't understand.]


I don't have a headshot on hand, but I do have this.

[bastardofipswich]

plus it's the only way to kill uh
highlanders

[dothelokimotion]

I am going to regret asking but

what is a Highlander.

[bastardofipswich]

the face is VERY important if you want to hold a candle to my last arch enemy

[ It's a good thing Caleb isn't here to see Chase compliment him.

...

Stupid sexy Caleb. ]

not bad not bad...
i DEFINITELY see some hero potential in you!!

[ tbh he's pretty sure Thor could easily kick his ass right off this moon if he wanted to. ]