video; @star.lord

[nostalgiabomb]

[ INT. Shared Housing, Floor 13, Room 4 – Very Late Night.

We open on a shot of the living space in one of the many shared housing units. It's dark in the messy room, with a couple of red jackets tossed onto the backs of chairs. Nearby, soft snores are audible.

In frame is a small, wooden creature, his giant eyes squinting with concentration as he stares at the screen. An old, beat-up mp3 player and a Sony Walkman sit beside him on the coffee table. The little creature mumbles a tiny, irritated— ]

I am Groot?

[ —in the same tone of voice someone else might use to ask, “How the hell do you work this thing?” He pokes at the screen fruitlessly for a while, but soon enough, his eyes light up as he shoves his hand forward one last time.

Suddenly, “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap” by the illustrious AC/DC shrieks over stereo speakers.

DONE. DIRT. CHEAP.

Sorry about your beauty sleep, Floor 13. And probably Floors 12 and 14.

The sapling yelps, scrambling and panicking to figure out how to stop this crazy thing, just as a sleep-tousled Star-Lord stumbles into frame, flicking on a light. Barely audible over the music, ]

Groot, what are you—?

[ Busted.

Peter picks up the device, sees that it’s recording, and he grimaces. ]

Oh, son of a—

[ Which is when the feed and the music both cut out. ]

Comments

voice; @star.lord

[nostalgiabomb]

[ Peter is that particular brand of asshole who answers text message with phone calls, so, enjoy his groggy, sleep-heavy voice. ]

He's not a pet.

[ in that tone of voice that suggests she's said something horribly offensive. ]

voice;

[latrodectus]

Oh?

[ You can almost hear the arched eyebrow. ]

[nostalgiabomb]

Yeah. He's a kid, if he has to be anything.

[ More specifically, he is a Groot. But that's not much of an explanation. ]

A kid who should be asleep instead of messing with people's stuff at butts o'clock.

[ This last part is obviously directed at the kid/pet/Groot in question, and just barely audible is a murmured "I am Groot" in response, in the same tone of voice someone might use to say, "I heard you the first time." ]

[latrodectus]

[ No, it's not much of an explanation. Especially as Natasha isn't usually someone to take people at their word. Even if it's the only thing they say. ]

A kid with strangely dated taste in music.

[ And… branches. ]

[nostalgiabomb]

[ Peter's mouth opens to respond, but he quickly shuts it as his expression twists into something annoyed. ]

It's not dated.

[ ... it's totally dated. ]

Good music is good music. And he likes what he likes.

[ Peter "Redundancy-Lord" Quill. ]

[latrodectus]

[ Natasha is actually inclined to agree with the aesthetic philosophy, at least, but she's not going to say that. ]

Is he from 1980?

[nostalgiabomb]

No, he's not.

[ A little exasperated. The both of them are from (insert alien year here,) or more specifically, 2014 by the Terran calendar.

And because this is already painfully transparent, Peter finally admits, ]

And it's my music.

[latrodectus]

Yes, I figured that out. I was just being polite about it.

[ Narrator: she wasn't. ]

[nostalgiabomb]

[ That— actually draws a laugh from him. ]

I think you and me have slightly different ideas on what "polite" means.

[latrodectus]

That's probably true. I am Russian. [ Though, she doesn't really have the accent. ] It also explains why I have no sense of humor.

[nostalgiabomb]

I dunno, that "what a country" guy was pretty funny.

[ He probably means Yakov Smirnoff. ]

Plus, Boris and Natasha on Rocky and Bullwinkle were always pretty good for a laugh.

[latrodectus]

[ There might be a hint of a smile in her voice, but then again, there might not be. ]

See? Very dated.

[ Natasha had a partner named Boris for a while. He was an idiot. ]

[nostalgiabomb]

[ There's a weighty pause. Peter wants to be contrary, just based on principle alone, but–

Yeah.. Okay. Rocky and Bullwinkle weren't even all that relevant when he was a kid, admittedly, so she's got him there. Still, though, ]

It's not that dated.

[ a small allowance.

progress. ]

[latrodectus]

We are all dated, you know. A product of our times and circumstance.

[ Yakov Smirnoff's popularity declined after the Cold War. Natasha didn't know what to do with herself, after the Cold War. ]

[nostalgiabomb]

[ ... whoa.

That got heavy, and it throws Peter off his groove for a second or two. ]

... I guess I hadn't really thought of it like that.

[latrodectus]

[ Well, that's an easy set up for a "did you think at all?" comment. But she doesn't take it. ]

So. America. Late 80s. Probably the middle west?

[nostalgiabomb]

I—

[ ... what the hell are you a psychic are yOU READING HIS MIND RIGHT NOW ]

Yeah. Missouri.

How'd you guess?

[latrodectus]

The accent. It isn't an east coast accent.

[ She also knows her universe's Star-Lord. here'd been an incident with Zodiac a year or so ago and the Guardians had crashed the helicarrier. She'd read the file then.
]

[nostalgiabomb]

... Okay. I’ll give you that one.

[ His accent is a weird mish-mash of what stuck with him from his childhood and the sort of drawl adopted by the Ravagers – or at least, his translation implant’s interpretation of their drawl. So— it’s still a fair call. ]from the 1980s. I just left Earth around then.

[latrodectus]

[ Space. Ugh. It's not her favorite thing. But still, she's growing more convinced that she knows who he is— in some fragmented, distant way, at least. Which is not the same thing as knowing who someone is at all. ]

Would you have believed I'm psychic?

gg i should check my html before i post

[nostalgiabomb]

[ He snorts out a laugh. ]

I dunno. Maybe?

I mean, there are some folks who can do some seriously weird things around here, but until we could scrounge up a deck of cards and had you guessing which one I drew, I probably wouldn't believe you.

[ A beat. ]

Or I would've hung up.

[latrodectus]

There are. [ People who can do some seriously weird things here, she means. ]

What if I told you your name was Peter Quill?

[ She doesn't 100% know this, but it seems like a good guess. And if she's wrong, then she's learned something there, too. ]

[nostalgiabomb]

[ ... UH.

There's one hell of a break before his next response, as he mentally runs through this conversation. He hasn't introduced himself yet, that much he's sure on.

But this is a public network, he remembers, so, ]

I'd say you could've snagged my name from one of my other conversations on the network.

[ so, yes, she's right. Excellent guess. ]

[latrodectus]

Or maybe I've heard of you.

[ She figures someone who calls themselves "Star-Lord" probably wants a reputation. ]

[nostalgiabomb]

I mean, that's possible? But you probably wouldn't have heard of me back on Earth. [ She mentioned she was Russian, after all. ] New doesn't travel quite that far.

And— [ It pains him to admit this. ] —I've mostly been keepin' my head down around here, so.