video ==> text | @gamora

[godslay]

[ Hey, you know who hasn't graced the network in a while?

This tiny monster.

You know who understands how the network works and thinks it's neat?

That same tiny monster.

When the camera clicks on, Groot is standing way too close to the screen, and all that can be seen are his gigantic, black eyes. There's a muffled, "I am Groot?" and then he's setting the communicator down and taking a few steps back until he's mostly visible from the waist up. He waves cheerfully at the camera, and then reaches offscreen to produce...

This bad boy.

He waves it around effortlessly; even if it's already extended, it's clearly near weightless. An excellent blade, all around.

Not excellent for children, however.

Offscreen, Gamora's voice sounds distant:

"Peter, have you seen my—"

Her feet appear in the camera's view, followed by a sharp, reprimanding, ]

Groot! Give that back! You're going to hurt yourself!

[ And she's stomping over to snatch away her sword.

Groot whines when Gamora takes Godslayer, and after a brief pause, the sapling is bursting into immediate, earsplitting bawling.

Sorry to anyone next door or on the adjacent floors. ]

Ugh.

[ She scoops up her communicator, too. It takes a second for her to notice that Groot turned it on, but then she clicks off the feed. ]



[ Following after that disaster: ]

Who has experience dealing with tantrums?

Comments

[godslay]

Yes. That was Groot.

He can be... unreasonable.

[nobasisinfact]

It's rare when a child isn't being unreasonable.

Have you tried replacing something more preferred?

[He resists the suggestion of coating the little tree with Miracle Grow to see if that will age it out of the toddler-like behavior.]

[godslay]

[ Peter will appreciate that joke; it would be wasted on Gamora. ]

Just distracting him?

[nobasisinfact]

For the moment.

Although at this point, it's better to give him nothing, ignore him and let him realize that this behavior does nothing toward getting what he wants.

[godslay]

So you just endure the screaming until he gets tired of it?

[ That sounds literally terrible. ]

[nobasisinfact]

[He contemplates suggesting she walk out and leave someone else to deal with it, but that's just bad parenting.]

Yes. Which should be fairly soon if he's gaining no attention for his behavior.

[godslay]

We put him in "time out."

[nobasisinfact]

The trick with that is getting him to stay in time out.

[godslay]

He stays for a while. Usually.

Do you know anything about childproofing?

[nobasisinfact]

Yes.

[He may have started a parenting consulting relationship here. He's not sure how he feels about it.]

[godslay]

How do you keep dangerous things inaccessible to children who won't be deterred by heights?

[nobasisinfact]

Have you tried locking them up?

[godslay]

We're considering it. But some of the more dangerous things, we need easier access to.

[nobasisinfact]

[He can't say he had many dangerous things in the house while Charlie was growing up. At least not ones that he had to worry about keeping accessible.]

How does he access things that are high up?

[Is he like climbing ivy or is he climbing like a normal kid?]

[godslay]

He can create vines, and he uses them to pull himself up. Or he'll grab whatever it is he wants instead.

[ He has ways, unfortunately. ]

[nobasisinfact]

Have you thought of speaking with one of the technology or magic experts about inventing a way to transfer the item to you even while it's locked up?

[godslay]

You mean finding a method to teleport our weapons from wherever they're secured?

[nobasisinfact]

Yes.

[godslay]

And I assume you have neither of those skills?

[nobasisinfact]

No, I have no need for such an ability.

I can see if my companion knows of one. She knows far more people than I do.

[godslay]

I will accept any recommendations, at this point.

[nobasisinfact]

I'm afraid she doesn't know anyone with that ability.

Aside from locking the weapon up or keeping them on your person at all times, I'm not certain what can be done.

[godslay]

I appreciate the effort. I'll have to keep looking for a solution.

audio un:pnwsalex

[11calls]

[Said companion is sitting next to him and talking, so she just pops in with this suggestion:]

Have you tried distracting him with something he likes better? Like putting down the sharp or dangerous thing means he gets like a treat or a toy he really likes?

audio.

[godslay]

[ Oh, okay, audio contact. ]

So instead of just bribing him, I should try to associate putting away the weapon with something more interesting?