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video ==> text | @gamora
[ Hey, you know who hasn't graced the network in a while?
This tiny monster.
You know who understands how the network works and thinks it's neat?
That same tiny monster.
When the camera clicks on, Groot is standing way too close to the screen, and all that can be seen are his gigantic, black eyes. There's a muffled, "I am Groot?" and then he's setting the communicator down and taking a few steps back until he's mostly visible from the waist up. He waves cheerfully at the camera, and then reaches offscreen to produce...
This bad boy.
He waves it around effortlessly; even if it's already extended, it's clearly near weightless. An excellent blade, all around.
Not excellent for children, however.
Offscreen, Gamora's voice sounds distant:
"Peter, have you seen my—"
Her feet appear in the camera's view, followed by a sharp, reprimanding, ]
Groot! Give that back! You're going to hurt yourself!
[ And she's stomping over to snatch away her sword.
Groot whines when Gamora takes Godslayer, and after a brief pause, the sapling is bursting into immediate, earsplitting bawling.
Sorry to anyone next door or on the adjacent floors. ]
Ugh.
[ She scoops up her communicator, too. It takes a second for her to notice that Groot turned it on, but then she clicks off the feed. ]
[ Following after that disaster: ]
Who has experience dealing with tantrums?
This tiny monster.
You know who understands how the network works and thinks it's neat?
That same tiny monster.
When the camera clicks on, Groot is standing way too close to the screen, and all that can be seen are his gigantic, black eyes. There's a muffled, "I am Groot?" and then he's setting the communicator down and taking a few steps back until he's mostly visible from the waist up. He waves cheerfully at the camera, and then reaches offscreen to produce...
This bad boy.
He waves it around effortlessly; even if it's already extended, it's clearly near weightless. An excellent blade, all around.
Not excellent for children, however.
Offscreen, Gamora's voice sounds distant:
"Peter, have you seen my—"
Her feet appear in the camera's view, followed by a sharp, reprimanding, ]
Groot! Give that back! You're going to hurt yourself!
[ And she's stomping over to snatch away her sword.
Groot whines when Gamora takes Godslayer, and after a brief pause, the sapling is bursting into immediate, earsplitting bawling.
Sorry to anyone next door or on the adjacent floors. ]
Ugh.
[ She scoops up her communicator, too. It takes a second for her to notice that Groot turned it on, but then she clicks off the feed. ]
[ Following after that disaster: ]
Who has experience dealing with tantrums?
no subject
That's not a bribe. My jokes are a gift.
[ in no universe is this true. ]
no subject
No, Peter.
[ Just n o.
BUT PRESSING ON. ]
If your jokes make him stop, then that's fine. I'm not sure how to distract him without truly bribing him otherwise. I do not want him to think that these fits will manipulate us.
no subject
[ And speak of the devil, the kid still is sprawled out on the seat, head lolled to one side as he glares at the two of them. Peter takes a deep, rallying breath. ]
I know you're bored, Groot. That's the point. You're supposed to think about what you did wrong.
I am Groot!
You absolutely did do something wrong, so just think harder.
[ And Groot groans, spends a couple of seconds pounding his fists and heels against the seat, before flopping over onto his side in a huff.
Peter grumbles beneath his breath, ]
I'm really not liking his attitude lately.
no subject
[ All the complaining and sulking and grumbliness...
It must have just come out of nowhere, obviously. ]
I can only assume it will improve with time. He's still young.
no subject
[ Flatly. ]
Joke all you like – I’ve still never stooped so low to swipe your sword.
no subject
[ Emphasis on "try." ]
no subject
You know, one of these days, you're really gonna have to stop threatening to dismember me.
no subject
[ Psh. That's just a normal part of any relationship. ]
gg this never posted
[ Flatly, and without an ounce of hesitation. ]
It's not exactly what I'd call healthy communication, is all.
no subject
Thinking about it...
Thinking about it...
And finally: ]
Don't give me a reason to dismember you, and I won't threaten to do it.
no subject
[ He takes a deep, rallying breath after a second, pulling a hand down his face, then, ]
I guess that's as good as it's gonna get, huh?
no subject
Is it actually something that bothers you?
[ Because if it does? Of course she'll stop. ]
no subject
You know, the Ravagers used to threaten to eat or kill me a lot.
[ In that order. ]
You'd think I'd be used to it by now.
[ ... so. Kind of yes? In a roundabout sort of way. ]
no subject
She reaches over to set her hand on the nape of his neck, running her thumb over the tendon meeting his shoulder. ]
I'll stop.
no subject
[ A little self-consciously. His gaze skitters off to the ceiling, and he fidgets in his seat. ]
Maybe just, you know. Cool it, sometimes? Once in a while is fine.
no subject
[ Logic?
Or at least a way to make it seem like she's choosing to drop the casual mentions of maiming him because it's the most reasonable thing. ]
no subject
Well. It's nice to know you don't actively want to rip off my arms.
no subject
She refrains from adding that verbally.
Instead, from the Time Out Corner: ]
I am Groot?
[ Gamora looks over to the sapling peering at them from over the back of the chair. ]
Yes, I think it's been long enough. You can come out now.
[ Groot sighs with relief, and then hops down from the chair, looking momentarily uncertain. But Gamora just pats her lap, and he comes running right over to climb up onto the couch and wrap his tiny arms around her waist. ]
no subject
Do you have anything to say to Gamora and me?
[ Now would be a good time for an apology, young man. ]
no subject
... I am Groot.
[ And at least he looks sorry, so Gamora is willing to decide that'll do.
She curls her hand gently around his back, giving him a reassuring little pat. ]
Did you learn anything about touching my sword?
I am Groot.
Exactly. It's not a toy.
no subject
After a second, Peter lets out a sigh. ]
Don't do it again, kid. If you wanna touch our stuff, you need to ask for permission first.
no subject
Yes, for everything. You aren't supposed to touch what doesn't belong to you.
I am Groot.
... We aren't supposed to steal, Groot.
[ Rocket is a bad role model. ]
no subject
Rocket is the bad role model. Obviously.
Though to his credit, Peter gives Groot a look ]
We're the good guys now, man. We don't steal anymore.
no subject
He finally nods, plopping down properly on Gamora's lap. ]
I am Groot?
Yes, I'm sure we can watch a movie.
no subject
... But then again, Peter's sort of used to getting into trouble, then getting screamed at for days, and getting the last slim servings at meal times for his troubles. So maybe he's not the best judge.
He lets out a breath, half-rising from his seat to ready the disc. ]
Gamora gets to pick, though.
(no subject)
(no subject)