video ==> text | @gamora

[godslay]

[ Hey, you know who hasn't graced the network in a while?

This tiny monster.

You know who understands how the network works and thinks it's neat?

That same tiny monster.

When the camera clicks on, Groot is standing way too close to the screen, and all that can be seen are his gigantic, black eyes. There's a muffled, "I am Groot?" and then he's setting the communicator down and taking a few steps back until he's mostly visible from the waist up. He waves cheerfully at the camera, and then reaches offscreen to produce...

This bad boy.

He waves it around effortlessly; even if it's already extended, it's clearly near weightless. An excellent blade, all around.

Not excellent for children, however.

Offscreen, Gamora's voice sounds distant:

"Peter, have you seen my—"

Her feet appear in the camera's view, followed by a sharp, reprimanding, ]

Groot! Give that back! You're going to hurt yourself!

[ And she's stomping over to snatch away her sword.

Groot whines when Gamora takes Godslayer, and after a brief pause, the sapling is bursting into immediate, earsplitting bawling.

Sorry to anyone next door or on the adjacent floors. ]

Ugh.

[ She scoops up her communicator, too. It takes a second for her to notice that Groot turned it on, but then she clicks off the feed. ]



[ Following after that disaster: ]

Who has experience dealing with tantrums?

Comments

[godslay]

[ She follows along after them, giving Groot a scrutinizing look – to make sure he knows she's still watching him for any misbehavior. She leans her hip against the couch, arms crossed as she watches Peter go about setting up the movie. ]

Just Groot.

[ Plain and simple. ]

It takes time. You'll start to hear it, the longer you stay around him.

[madeupnames]

Oh, cool! Then I can be your part-time babysitter on the weekends.

[He looks down at Groot, sitting with his feet criss-crossed in front of him (pay no mind to the shoes that don't match, long story).]

We'd totally watch a ton of movies 'til we passed out, right?

[godslay]

[ Groot has plopped himself down next to Peter (looking particularly small on the couch), and he looks back up at his friend and enthusiastically nods.

Gamora just shakes her head (with the hint of a smile). ]

We could use a reliable babysitter. But he can be... difficult.

[madeupnames]

[He'll just start up the movie's previews, so Groot can be distracted by bright exciting animated trailers.]

Oh, that's alright. I mean, I've handled some pretty big tantrums before. [Pete is literally talking about a man shooting at him with a gun. Or an alien throwing acid at him. Hideous.] Besides, I went through some crazy behaviors when I was little, so I get it. No judgement here.

[godslay]

[ She seems to be considering this, and then: ]

We'll call you next time.

[ But more importantly: ]

... Why don't your shoes match?

[madeupnames]

[He blinks at her innocently.]

Hm?

[godslay]

[ Aaaaaaand she points at his shoes. ]

[madeupnames]

[He looks down at his feet, wiggling them side to side a bit.]

They're both black?

[So clearly they're matching.]

[godslay]

[ Don't make her throw a pillow at you. ]

Peter.

[ oh look it's the half-threat-half-disappointment voice she uses on big pete ]

[madeupnames]

[Aw, man, don't use the Big Pete tone on me. :(]

I just lost one goofing off with the other kids, that's all.

I'll get some new ones later!

[This boy is accident prone and is always losing shit, wow.]

[godslay]

[ GIVING HIM THAT SQUINTY SKEPTICAL MOM LOOK. ]

Do it tomorrow.

[madeupnames]

Whuh-! Why? They're totally good shoes! They have soles and laces and there's no rips anywhere.

[BUT MOOOOoooom.]

Groot, cover me here, you think my shoes are fine! Right?

[godslay]

[ Sucks to be you, Petey-boy, because Groot is so wrapped up in cartoons that he doesn't even look over.

Gamora has that smug look on her face now. ]

Get. New. Shoes.

[madeupnames]

I will! I will, I swear!

[He clears his throat, mumbling under his breath.]

... When I can afford them...

[godslay]

. . .

[ . . . ]

What.

[madeupnames]

[He looks up.]

What what?

[godslay]

You can't afford shoes?

[ NOT. ACCEPTABLE. ]

[madeupnames]

N-no, no, I can afford them! I just gotta wait 'til my next payday thing. I had to buy someone else some shoes because I accidentally messed them up? And then after that, I helped pay for someone to get towed, so I, like, I just kind of lost track of my card balance, so by the time I was getting lunch yesterday I was all — crap, I've only got 10 bucks left 'til next Friday?

... F-funny how that happens, huh?

[Don't even get him into the money he spends as Spider-Man.]

[godslay]

[ how is he worse with money than the guardians

She's just staring at him for a long moment, and then: ]

What size are your feet?

[madeupnames]

... Nonono — you're not gonna buy me shoes.

[He wags his hand like this is the MOST IMPOSSIBLE THING OFFERED.]

I swear, I can get my own! I'll cut someone's yard or something. You, you - you don't gotta get me shoes. I'm solid.

[godslay]

[ She doesn't say anything, but she uncrosses her arms, sets her palms on the back of the couch, and gives him The Look.

It's the look she would give targets before literally ripping out their hearts, but this time, it's definitely repurposed for Intimidating Mom bullshit.

Don't make her ask again. ]

[madeupnames]

[Oh my goooOODDD

He leans back a little, flustered, and says in a small squeak:]

Size 11.

[godslay]

[ Much better.

And she straightens back up, and with a little wave of her hand, leaves Peter and Groot with the television. ]

Enjoy your cartoons.

[ Since Peter is now the Official Babysitter, she's totally just going to leave him alone in the apartment with Groot.

He can handle that, right? ]

[madeupnames]

[Sure he can! If he can't then he'll just let Groot walk all over him.

Which is on par the course, when he hangs out with kids. So he doesn't mind.

He sits there, waiting until she vanishes, and says as he stares ahead:]

Your mom is kinda scary sometimes.