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video; stark

[Tony has the Iron Man helmet with face plate up and one of the gauntlets on which he uses to wave at the camera. He's smiling brightly, but there are bags under his eyes and the flush to his cheeks are from more than just excitement.]

Some of you might remember a certain someone's offer to trade junk into something better. Please be sure to get the right guy because I don't work for scraps. If you have trouble telling us apart, other me is highly strung and a little sensitive.

[He taps his fingers against his chin.]

Perhaps we should change names as well. I was already thinking of rebranding Iron Man and getting a new paint job. And he can be... do you think he'd mind if I called him Greg? Or is that a little too morbid using a dead man's name? He'd have to dye his hair too, we look terrible in white otherwise...

[He picks up a bottle with his uncovered hand and takes a drink.]

Okay, it probably is. This silly event has got me maudlin I see.

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You're under the mistaken belief there's bridges to burn.

[Even if they weren't alternate versions of the people he knows there still wouldn't be much of a relationship to wreck.]

Oh, nah my dude, if there were no bridges to burn none of these chucklefucks would've responded at all, but clearly they give a shit enough to call you out, so...

[he shrugs.]

You guys are all from the same kinda world, aren't ya?

[sometimes snooping is fun.]

It's mostly white knighting. [And while it's nice to see people who actually like a Tony Stark, he finds it pointless.] And in a way.

Must be nice.

[Having people from a similar world, even if they don't like Tony. Taako's feeling bitter.]

But I'm gonna state the obvious here and say I have no clue what that means.

[Is it a reference to paladins?? Is it a chess thing?? The mystery abounds. He is just a simple elf wizard he doesn't know internet slang.]

[Tony once took a year off to go on the internet. He knows far too much internet slang.]

The individual words or the term?

I'm an elf pumpkin, I know what a knight is.

[He's an elf who spent a century on a spaceship but like, whatever.]

But I get the feeling I'm missing some context.

My first thought was mutant shut-in than elf to be perfectly honest.

[But cool, elves exist.]

I'm talking about people riding in like a knight in shining armour for someone who doesn't want or need it. It's a mistaken sentiment that's more about making themselves feel good for stepping in.

Why do I feel like I've been insulted?

[He also doesn't know what a mutant is beyond the literal meaning of the word, but "mutant shut-in" definitely sounds like an insult.

He doesn't really care, though.]

But that's definitely an insult, you're really setting out to piss people off, huh?

[He can get it, pushing people away is easy and he does it himself to an extent, but there's a difference between ensuring there's a professional distance so like, feelings don't happen, and whatever the hell Tony is doing here.]

It's only an insult if you take it as one.

[Can't be insulted if he doesn't know what it means. True fact: Tony didn't mean it as one even if it might seem otherwise.]

You know what they say, people always respond best when you're honest.

[Taako seems to consider that for a moment, before he shrugs as if to say fair enough.]

So this is you living your truth? Kinda sad, my fella.

[No offense.]

The results speak for themselves when people are going out of their way to track me down.

[Although it's not necessarily for good reasons. He's a miserable, lonely man and his personality only contributes to a part of the why.]

Is that cause they give a shit or cause they're waiting for you to fuck up?

[Since those are two very different things.]

It might actually be the latter, but that seems like an unfair assumption based on my counterparts. Hypocritical too considering how everyone is insisting we're very different.

[He's still not bothered by it either way.]

Not to call you out, my man, but you seem real hung up on this whole thing with the other versions of you. Seems kinda unhealthy.

[It's what Taako is taking from all this to be honest.]

I do?

[Huh.]

Well let's chalk that up to my depression and move on then.

Uh, wow.

[This was funny at first but now it's kind of just... sad... and Taako feels kind of guilty??]

Not pulling any punches, I see. S'cool, you do you, I guess.

[yikes!!!]

[He shrugs.]

Like I said, people respond best when you're honest. [Also people in his world seem to have no empathy so saying something like that seems to be the equivalent of discussing the weather.] But I can tone it down.

I mean, I'm not your dad. You can do whatever the fuck you want. It's just kinda rough, dude.

[Also he feels bad but is kind of terrible at expressing empathy and sympathy.

Is this the kind of emergency Clark was talking about when he said Taako could call for him? Probably not.]

Do you, uh- [Nope, wherever that was going he apparently decides against it.] Totally unsolicited advice here, I realise, but it does seem like some of these thugs do actually give a shit, maybe try being nice to 'em.

Eh, if I can live with myself that's all that matters.

[He taps his chin.]

But alright, what do you consider as 'nice'?

[In his opinion he's merely offered an option to everyone and then refused to get as worked up about it as other people have.]

Starting out by insulting the other version of you was probably a dick move. And I'm kinda an expert on dick moves.

[Mostly when it's funny.]

[Frowning.]

I didn't insult him. Why would I insult myself?

Uh, my dude...

[Is he going to have to quote you back you to yourself, Tony.

Okay sure.]

Pretty sure you called him high strung and sensitive, and said you wouldn't work for scraps, kinda implied some judgement that he was. Let me be honest, I'm no fan of the other Tony, but do you really not get why people got defensive?

That's not insulting. It's an observation and a reminder I haven't hit his level of boredom.

This is like some of the mildest things we've been called.

[He figures they're both big public figures in their world so surely his acquaintances would understand this is nothing really.]

Do you have like, any social skills?

[This is rich coming from someone who is apparently incapable of introducing himself properly, and is also rude as hell.

But at least he knows when he's being rude. and he knows that "he's been called worst" is a terrible defense.]

[He rubs his chin in thought.]

Do you count business settings?

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spellslots - 2017-05-24 11:19 (UTC) - Expand

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