First Ax [@the.boneless, video]

[ragnarsson]

[It's clear whoever is using this device is unused to it. The picture shifts around for a few minutes, and Ivar's face furrowed in concentration is seen several times before he finally realizes that it's on. He's sixteen, has blue eyes, and oddly enough, blue sclera as well. There's also an ax tucked at his side. He points the phone he's using outward, showing that he's in the kitchen, seated on a chair. His voice, when he speaks, has a vaguely European accent.] I have figured out what these do.

[He shows in turn the fridge, the sink, and the stove. The last one had caused a few burnt fingers, but hey, he'll survive.] But I still have no idea what this does. [He turns the device to the microwave. He's been playing around with the buttons, and while he's been able to turn it on, he hasn't yet realized food is supposed to go inside of it.] Anyone care to enlighten me?

Comments

[bespredel]

Well that's a huge fucking disappointment. Why the hell not? And sing opera, while you're at it. Get it right. [ The sarcasm was so, so real. Still- maybe Ivar could bring the fashion of horned helmets back with him... ]

[ragnarsson]

[Ivar snorts and rolls his eyes, close to laughing.]

The only purpose horns have is to drink out of them. Or, you know, stab someone with them. Where do you come from so that I can judge you on what you lack?

[bespredel]

Russia. Not that you'd know where the hell that is, I suppose. I'll have to get you a map. [ He's mostly joking, though. He's certainly not jumping up to get one now, anyway. ]

Famed for ballerinas, ice skating, and bears. [ Anything else Yuri could mention, Ivar probably wouldn't know what it was anyway. Like hockey or the KGB. Only after he has said it, does Yuri realize- he probably won't know what ice skating or ballerinas are, either. ]

I'm Yuri, by the way.

[ragnarsson]

They probably called it something different where I'm from. [Kievan Rus', not that the Vikings paid much attention to it until the mid-800s. If Ivar lived that long, he'd probably lead some of the first raids himself.]

What are ballerinas? [Ice skating and bears he gets. They actually do have ice skating in its most primitive form in his time, though it's like comparing apples and oranges when held up against the competitive figure-skating of the twenty-first century.]

Ivar Ragnarsson. Sometimes called Ivar The Boneless.

[Laugh at his nickname at your own peril, Yuri.]

[bespredel]

Probably, thus the suggestion for a map. [ Look, sometimes Yuri had some pretty damned good ideas. And establishing a sense of where Russia was for the other using a map? Seemed like a pretty good one. ]

They're extremely disciplined, flexible dancers. [ Which was the short of it, in Yuri's opinion. ]

Yuri Plisetsky. Sometimes called the Ice Tiger of Russia, or the Russian Punk. [ No laughter here, only a shit eating grin. His nickname is cooler, in his opinion. ]

Why Boneless?

[ragnarsson]

Then go get one. I don't know where to find one here. [He can't read, so he wouldn't know an atlas from the Bible.]

What's a tiger? And a punk? [Help him get up to speed on modern day lingo, Yuri.]

[He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. It's a bit of a touchy subject and one that's unavoidable in person, but he's come to realize it's easy for people not to have an idea of his disability over video.] Because my father had twisted ideas when it came to his son being a cripple, that's why.

[bespredel]

I'm not going to do it right this second, you impatient asshole. I'll get one next time I go to the library. [ He huffs. ]

And a tiger is a really big striped cat. Totally badass and awesome. A punk is the same idea; a badass. A rule breaker. Someone who challenges authority; someone like me.

[ Yuri cocks his head at the other's explanation though, his lips pursing. ] Pretty fucked up sense of humour your dad had.

[ragnarsson]

I'm holding you to that, you blunt idiot. [He's definitely going to get along with Yuri very well.]

That he did. [Ragnar had tried to abandon his son in the woods when he was a baby, an attempt to give him a merciful end.] But I don't blame him. He knew how shitty my life was going to be. Being crippled among Vikings is the worst sort of fate.

[A cripple was less than nothing in Viking society. No one expected one to be able to contribute anything, to be able to fight or go on raids. All anyone had ever shown Ivar was scorn and pity. He hated that worse than anything.]

[bespredel]

I'm good for my word, don't worry.

[ Yuri huffed softly, shifting to rest his head on a fist, studying the other with a frown. ]

I can't really speak to that, whether it was fair or not. I don't know your father, I don't know what it's like to be a Viking. But whatever; you've clearly proved him wrong. You're here, aren't you?

[ragnarsson]

Yeah. I always told myself I was going to be just as good as any other Viking. [Stubbornness and rage went a long way in helping him with that goal.] It took him a while to figure out I could make it on my own, but he got it eventually.

[Ivar had never had much in the way of self-worth before his father had told him he had the most potential of all his sons. It was the validation he'd been waiting for his entire life.]