Video | username: bigbad

[idolpire]

[Say hello to an angular looking face that's not smiling. He is smoking, which is all part of the bad boy look. Maybe.]

Let's get one thing clear here, yeah? Last thing I need is a bunch of goody-goodies hunting me down out of some obligated sense of protecting the masses. Yes, I'm a vampire. Ooh. Scary, I know.

[Hands lift to do a little 'woo' motion, a cigarette between two fingers that he pauses to take a drag from before continuing in a thick, lower-class British accent.]

No, I can't eat any humans. Got me on that synthetic crap here. So unless one of you plans on dropping off a bag of type you on my doorstep, consider yourselves safe.

[And it pains him to admit that. It's obvious on his face.]

So instead of blaming me for being all terrible and mean -- which I am, try blaming whatever brought me here. I was just off, being a vampire in my own little word, then poof. I wake up here. Not my fault. Didn't sign up for it. So you hero types, you bleeding heart goody-goodies, you can all put your pitchforks down and go pet a puppy or something.

[He pauses for a moment, then points at the screen.]

Non-humans, however, I can still hurt. So if you're up for an asskicking, by all means, come a'knocking. I could do with a good fight. It's too... nice around here. Gives me the willies. And please, don't try to come back with some 'all bad needs to be stopped'. It's bollocks. Every world needs a bit of bad. It's what gives the goodies something to be all superior over.

Comments

[dirtyredneck]

Gettin' out's got nothin' to do with that shit.

[A pause and then.]

And I'm just fine. Ain't nothin' wrong with me. Get that stupid idea outta your head.

[There is soooooo much wrong with him.]

[idolpire]

I'd check your pants to see if they're on fire or not, mate.

[Liar, liar.]

[dirtyredneck]

As far as your head is up your ass, I'm surprised you can't see shit.

[No, Daryl, right now that's you.]

[idolpire]

I'm flexible, but that's a bit past my limits.

[Spike: the person that knew he'd hit a line and just kept on going.]

[dirtyredneck]

[The statement is unexpected enough to give Daryl a moment's pause. It'd been a while since he'd argued with someone who didn't react to his insults in the way he was used to. Threw him off just a bit.

Enough to shut him up for a moment and give him time to process the situation. he didn't really calm down, but he wasn't getting more riled up, either.]

Man, whatever...

[He said, deflating a bit and shaking his head. It was dismissive, sure, but Daryl wasn't super creative with comebacks when he was upset. Especially with ones that could get easily get unnecessarily sexual if said wrong. And anything to do with assholes and flexibility could get there fast.]

[idolpire]

[Spike was used to insults, from enemies, friends, and lovers alike. It was just another way to say hello, wasn't it?

He wound up chuckling as Daryl visibly deflated, shaking his head and taking another drag.]

All bark no bite, eh? Or is it the other way around?

[dirtyredneck]

[He snorted, the sound dry and without any real feeling behind it.]

Ain't the biting type. Leave that to the dead.

[He didn't exactly laugh, but it could still be considered a joke.]

Could still kick your ass, though.

[idolpire]

Undead, in this case, and if situations were a little altered, I'd call bollocks on that.

[Unfortunately, Daryl would definitely be able to kick his ass -- if he could catch him. A two year old could kick his ass. It was heartbreaking.]

[dirtyredneck]

Wasn't talking about you.

[He actually looks a little disconcerted for a second there. He'd almost forgotten the guy was a vampire and vampires bite people. He'd been thinking only of the dead that wandered his world.]

Yeah? Why's that?

[idolpire]

Don't really think specifics are needed. A man's entitled to a little privacy.

[dirtyredneck]

[Daryl stared at him for a long moment, as if he could figure out what the man meant just by doing so. Then he lifted his chin and let out a soft 'mmm' that verged on sounding like he understood, but was really more a show of acceptance. He wasn't going to push for answers despite obviously being curious.]

We had stories about vampires in my world. Lots of people said lots of different shit about what they could do. One of them, last one author I heard any big thing about 'fore... well, 'parently they thought vampires sparkled like glittering rocks in the sunlight.

You do any sparkling?

[idolpire]

[Maybe they could hash out their respective man pain over beers. For now, there were things spike wanted to keep to himself.]

There's always stories. Most of them are bollocks. And anything to do with sparkling vampires are complete and utter bollocks. If this is your way of asking for a peep show, you're going about it all wrong.

[dirtyredneck]

[Daryl just... stared. Blinked a couple times. Stared more. Then slowly shook his head and pressed his lips together while his eyes dropped away from the screen and then let his head droop just enough for some hair to get in his eyes.

He wasn't looking to do anything like that and didn't really know how to follow the suggestion up with anything but a quiet denial.

When he did speak, his tone was softer, not really apologetic, but definitely on the disconcerted side.]

Didn't mean it like that.

[idolpire]

Good. No offense, mate, but I prefer the ladies. All soft skin and pretty smells... Then there's the sex.

[Yep, someone was getting a fond look on his face.]

But you need to learn to lighten up. Take a joke. We're stuck here now, for better or worse. No use making it a pain in everyone's ass by taking everything so literally.

[dirtyredneck]

[He shrugged and turned his head away. He wasn't insulted by Spike's declaration or anything. He just wasn't that good with people making sexual suggestions about him or crowing about their own. He used to put up a decent enough face about it with Merle and his Pa back Before, but now? He just didn't see the point in trying to fake it no more.

His thumb drifted to his mouth and he started chewing on the nail, snorting dismissively.]

I can take jokes just fine. Yer the one's is shit at delivery.

[idolpire]

Please. You wouldn't know a joke if it jumped in your lap and bit you. Far too serious, mate.

[Spike, on the other hand, was a disgusting pervert who made inappropriate statements at the drop of a hat. He was crude for the sake of being crude, because really, if you weren't going to like him, he was going to give you a reason not to.]

[dirtyredneck]

You wouldn't know a delivery if it dropped ice down your back and waved hello. Learn to tell a joke that's worth laughing at.

[Man would have gotten along with his brother from the sound of it.]

[idolpire]

[Spike would have eaten Merle. Or turned him into a lackey. He never minded a good lackey.]

Ooh, look whose found a pair hiding in their pants.

[dirtyredneck]

[Merle probably would've been a good lackey until he got bored like, a week later. Then struck out on his own.]

Ain't never lost 'em. Just don't wave 'em around like they're the end-all be-all.

What brand're those?

[Spike just keeps waving that cigarette around and it's getting to Daryl. Had yet to find a brand he could stand.]

[idolpire]

Morley's. Why, you want one?

[Please let him hold that over Daryl. Spike needed something to feel superior about.]

[dirtyredneck]

[Daryl's brows shoot up in obvious interest because that was his brand.

He does keep this tone controlled, however, so it doesn't seem like that fact excited or pleased him in any big way.]

Yeah. Sure. They'll work.

[idolpire]

[Oh, he knows that look, Daryl. That's the look of a man who wants to poison his lungs.]

Right. So, what'll you give me for it?

[dirtyredneck]

For one smoke or the pack?

[idolpire]

[He thought about that, looking down at the mostly full pack he still had.]

Which would get me something interesting?

[dirtyredneck]

[Daryl's tongue darted out to wet his lips and his eyes narrowed. His hand brushed idly over the perpetual stubble he had as he gave it some thought.]

Guess that depends on what you think's interestin' and what you're lookin' for. Was figurin' on just offerin' cash but if there's somethin' else...