riverview | Video | username: bigbad

[Say hello to an angular looking face that's not smiling. He is smoking, which is all part of the bad boy look. Maybe.]

Let's get one thing clear here, yeah? Last thing I need is a bunch of goody-goodies hunting me down out of some obligated sense of protecting the masses. Yes, I'm a vampire. Ooh. Scary, I know.

[Hands lift to do a little 'woo' motion, a cigarette between two fingers that he pauses to take a drag from before continuing in a thick, lower-class British accent.]

No, I can't eat any humans. Got me on that synthetic crap here. So unless one of you plans on dropping off a bag of type you on my doorstep, consider yourselves safe.

[And it pains him to admit that. It's obvious on his face.]

So instead of blaming me for being all terrible and mean -- which I am, try blaming whatever brought me here. I was just off, being a vampire in my own little word, then poof. I wake up here. Not my fault. Didn't sign up for it. So you hero types, you bleeding heart goody-goodies, you can all put your pitchforks down and go pet a puppy or something.

[He pauses for a moment, then points at the screen.]

Non-humans, however, I can still hurt. So if you're up for an asskicking, by all means, come a'knocking. I could do with a good fight. It's too... nice around here. Gives me the willies. And please, don't try to come back with some 'all bad needs to be stopped'. It's bollocks. Every world needs a bit of bad. It's what gives the goodies something to be all superior over.