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Video | username: bigbad
[Say hello to an angular looking face that's not smiling. He is smoking, which is all part of the bad boy look. Maybe.]
Let's get one thing clear here, yeah? Last thing I need is a bunch of goody-goodies hunting me down out of some obligated sense of protecting the masses. Yes, I'm a vampire. Ooh. Scary, I know.
[Hands lift to do a little 'woo' motion, a cigarette between two fingers that he pauses to take a drag from before continuing in a thick, lower-class British accent.]
No, I can't eat any humans. Got me on that synthetic crap here. So unless one of you plans on dropping off a bag of type you on my doorstep, consider yourselves safe.
[And it pains him to admit that. It's obvious on his face.]
So instead of blaming me for being all terrible and mean -- which I am, try blaming whatever brought me here. I was just off, being a vampire in my own little word, then poof. I wake up here. Not my fault. Didn't sign up for it. So you hero types, you bleeding heart goody-goodies, you can all put your pitchforks down and go pet a puppy or something.
[He pauses for a moment, then points at the screen.]
Non-humans, however, I can still hurt. So if you're up for an asskicking, by all means, come a'knocking. I could do with a good fight. It's too... nice around here. Gives me the willies. And please, don't try to come back with some 'all bad needs to be stopped'. It's bollocks. Every world needs a bit of bad. It's what gives the goodies something to be all superior over.
Let's get one thing clear here, yeah? Last thing I need is a bunch of goody-goodies hunting me down out of some obligated sense of protecting the masses. Yes, I'm a vampire. Ooh. Scary, I know.
[Hands lift to do a little 'woo' motion, a cigarette between two fingers that he pauses to take a drag from before continuing in a thick, lower-class British accent.]
No, I can't eat any humans. Got me on that synthetic crap here. So unless one of you plans on dropping off a bag of type you on my doorstep, consider yourselves safe.
[And it pains him to admit that. It's obvious on his face.]
So instead of blaming me for being all terrible and mean -- which I am, try blaming whatever brought me here. I was just off, being a vampire in my own little word, then poof. I wake up here. Not my fault. Didn't sign up for it. So you hero types, you bleeding heart goody-goodies, you can all put your pitchforks down and go pet a puppy or something.
[He pauses for a moment, then points at the screen.]
Non-humans, however, I can still hurt. So if you're up for an asskicking, by all means, come a'knocking. I could do with a good fight. It's too... nice around here. Gives me the willies. And please, don't try to come back with some 'all bad needs to be stopped'. It's bollocks. Every world needs a bit of bad. It's what gives the goodies something to be all superior over.
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[Which does explain a little bit about why Ivar has turned out the way he is.]
We sacrifice people every seven years or when we need fortune from the gods. Their blood is gathered up for us to drink and gain power from it.
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Not that all cultures don't have a bit of sacrifice and blood letting. Mayans, Druids, Vikings... Makes me wonder if that's not why humans were made vampires in the first place.
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If it didn't work, people wouldn't keep doing it. The last time ensured victory when we went to war in England. [Though he'd still take most of the credit for planning the battles. His brothers' plan was just attack, attack, and more attack.] So you were originally human?
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[He rolled his eyes.]
Unless you're actually doing magic that you can see, giving credit to some invisible god for things you've done that have worked out seems a bit daft to me. There's always a fifty-fifty chance you'll lose at anything if it's one versus another. You just beat the odds.
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[He doesn't really mind the insults. That's basically how he communicates with most people. However, getting into debates about gods, he does mind that a bit.]
Who says they're invisible? I've actually met one. [Odin himself had come to tell the Ragnarssons of their father's death.] So they do have an influence on our actions.
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[He grins, not at all minding that he might be provoking this new little bit into despising him. Just par for the course, really.]
Sure they do. Only person that has control over you is you, Viking. Your actions might be out of fear or respect, but they're yours. Own it.
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[It'll take a bit more than that to get Ivar to despise him. He's enjoying the banter thus far.]
So you don't believe in fate? And I do have a name, you know.
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[Still, he wasn't minding it himself. Yet. Spike needed a little something to keep him entertained in this strange little pocket of a new world. Bickering was familiar.]
Why would I? The thing about something being carved in stone is that people often forget that stone can be broken. Or worn away. No use crying over spilled blood.
I'm sure you do. I'm also sure I don't give a bloody damn what it is.
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Such a large ego. You must be compensating for something.
[Antagonizing a monster with sharp fangs will only end well. Good thing the Viking has no fear of death.]
You sound like my father. He didn't believe in his fate either.
Be nice now. Otherwise you and I might not get along.
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[Wait. Some backwater barbarian likely wouldn't get that. Aww, toss it.]
Fate's for people that don't want to own their own lives. They let some other power dictate and control why they do what they do. Don't see the point. I'm evil because I like being evil. Makes it fun. As for you and I getting along...
I'm waiting for the part where you tell me why I should give a bloody damn.
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So you believe in controlling your own destiny? The thought does have some value to it, but it only stretches so far. At some point, fate always takes a guiding hand.
[Ivar smiles then and there's a lack of empathy there that would do any vampire proud]
We're all going to be here a long time together. It might be better to cultivate some allies rather than charm your way into making people want to plot your death. Just a thought.
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[So much scoffing. Spike and religion didn't exactly go hand in hand, but he had to believe there was something up there. Crosses still burned, after all.]
Boy, people have been plotting my death since before I actually died. You'll have to do better than that if you want to make me mess in my drawers.
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[Still, philosophical debates with an actual monster is something he never thought he'd be doing. It's rather interesting.]
The difference now, vampire, is that none of those people were me. If I wanted you dead, trust me, it would happen.
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[Guess who didn't look the least bit concerned that someone may or may not be threatening to kill him?]
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There's dead and then there's dead. I've never met anything I couldn't kill before.
[Draugr were undead monsters too, but the Norsemen had no trouble killing them off when they attacked.]
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Nice to meet you, Mate. Name's Spike, and if you try offing me for real, I'll happily pull your spine out of your chest and beat you with it.
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[A short laugh makes his way out of his throat. It's an odd name, one that conjures up images of the wooden spikes the Vikings used for protection when making camps outside of their own territory.]
You say the nicest things. I'm Ivar Ragnarsson, Ivar the Boneless to some. [A name that some here recognized from the history books.] And you're welcome to try to kill me anytime.
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I would, but I've just put out this little ditty saying that I wouldn't. You trying to make a liar of me?
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[It's so easy to antagonize someone over the network. Though really, being in person wouldn't have stopped Ivar one bit. He never knows when to stop. Pushing boundaries was a trait that tended to run in his family and pretty much all of his brothers also had it.]
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Perhaps you should count yourself lucky that's the case, mate. For now.
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[Famous last words? Perhaps. But Ivar would never know until he tried.]
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