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entry_info={ .01 span:ARRIVAL, engage:VIDEO }, username=stark.naked

[ The look on Tony's face as the feed clicks on is clearly unamused. Possibly even Unamused, capital and all. Why is he so irritated you might ask? Well, don't you worry about that, he is bound to let you know. As soon as he finishes sipping on his coffee in a more than obnoxious way. If you look close enough, and know Tony, you will be able to see a darkness beneath his eyes, the kind that comes with too much coffee and too many ideas and not enough hours in the day, so clearly he has to sacrifice some of the night for the Greater Good or some shit.

Whatever. That is why there is coffee.

Once the coffee has been consumed, Tony gets up from where he is sitting, and it becomes very obvious that he is in the kitchen on the floor, a kitchen you have all seen thanks to a Viking, but there is no sign of him now. However, there are signs of someone making a rather large breakfast here (if only you could smell it, seriously, Tony would kill to eat some of it okay) and not sharing.

This? This is why Tony is unamused.]

Really, you come in here, use the space and leave the dishes, while also not sharing?

[ Steve is gonna be annoyed. Not that he isn't usually in that state. The images shifts as Tony puts the phone down, and there is the sound of more coffee making its way into his cup while you get a lovely view of the ceiling. Look, no scorch marks. Yet.]

That's just rude, even for gods of chaos and mischief. And here I was going to make you a fancy partial AI for your phone. Ha.

[ Look, he doesn't know if it was Loki, but he assumes it is. Because if it was Steve or Bucky they would have shared, and he is pretty sure that Stephen only eats things that are still moving, and Billy-- well maybe him too. But for now, his ire is on Loki.]

Also, working on some ideas for the defence perimeter, some new weapons and targeting systems, if there is anyone that has any ideas, let me know. I mean, I've probably already thought of it, but still might be nice to bounce ideas around.

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[ Look who is outside and loving life and definitely not squatting on a kitchen floor like a technopath loser. ]

It's way past morning. Hasn't anyone tidied up yet? [ No, it doesn't matter that it's Loki's mess. Don't you people have standards? Do you want to live in squalor? ] Someone needs to rinse off the oven tray, most importantly. That thing is loaded in grease.

[Guess who else is annoyed when he comes out into the common area, clearly just getting back from the gym? Yeah, this guy. He pauses in the doorway to the kitchen and his eyes fall on the mess of dirty dishes and lingering scent of food, and he looks irritated, having just shown up in time to watch Tony record his video and lay the blame on Loki.]

He's worse than Logan. [Bucky grumbles that out as he crosses the kitchen to see if there's any coffee left.] What sorts of things are you working on? It's nothing that's gonna blow up, is it?

[ SCOWLING. Yeah, he thought it was you.]

I just got in, so that depends on how you view morning there, godling.

[ NOISILY SIPPING COFFEE WHILE GLARING AT YOU. Seriously, he might be able to handle the mess if you, you know, shared, but you are apparently more of a jerk than he thought and didn't do that so.]

Pretty sure Steve has a chore list somewhere, and people who make messes are supposed to clean them up. Otherwise you might find grease loaded oven trays under your covers.

Even the All-Father didn't dole out chore lists. What makes you think I'll adhere to the Captain's?

[ YOU AIN'T HIS DAD. ]

[ Good, be annoyed with him. Seriously, this is not what he wanted to deal with. He just wanted coffee and someone to help him go over some of the ideas he came up with. Tony looks up, eyebrow raised, as he pockets his phone and leans against the counter.]

... you know you might be right about that. Though I never thought anyone would be worse than him. It's the taunting that makes it worse. [ Moving to the side, he lets Bucky at the coffee as he shrugs.] Nothing that will blow up on accident. I am looking more so to focus on turrets that can be posted and can track specific life signs. Like the display in the suit, with designations for specific makeups.

[ So this Tony doesn't look exactly like the one he's used to, but it's not hard to connect the dots, what with the username and all.

Okay, especially the username. Only Tony goddamn Stark would have something like that.

And since his own floor is somehow ~~blessedly~~ free of everyone from alternate universes, Sam has one question: ]

What the hell is going on here, Stark?

[ THANK ODIN FOR THAT, you are a walking advertisement for condoms you shit.]

Because he's Steve and he has weird powers that make people listen to him even when you really don't want to. It's the eyebrows, it's gotta be the eyebrows.

[ Like you aren't adopted too now, oooh. ]

At least if Captain America's eyebrows get singed off while he's sleeping, now we'll all know where to point the finger.

[ why are you yelling at him? what did he do? fuck.

Tony blinks because that is Sam, but not Sam, and--]

God fucking Christ on a pogo stick. Really? You yell at me right off the bat? No 'hi Tony, how are you dealing with being in an alternate universe'? Just, 'Stark, give me answers!'.

[ Scowling at you as he sips his coffee because ROOD.]

You're not used to multiverses are you.

[ Wow, W O W. Thanks for that. At least both his adopted parents wanted him. And his real mother did too so NEYH. ]

Uh, he's not Cap right now, that's Bucky. I mean-- wait, can I tell people that? Does it even matter here? Whatever, and even if they did vanish, he would probably draw them back on in a permanently disappointed look.

[ Huff. He's not yelling, thank you very much. He's been through extensive military training, if he was yelling, you would goddamn well know it, and so would most of the building. He's just a little snappy because he's disoriented and confused. ]

Look, if there's something weird going on, then you're probably the one who knows about it. Somehow. By virtue of being Tony Stark, apparently.

[ Translation: NOPE. He's not. ]

[Bucky reaches up into the cabinet to get a mug, but pauses again as he looks at the pile of dishes. It's so tempting to do them and get them out of his living space, but no, then Loki wins, and Bucky is stubborn more than anything. He grabs a mug and pours himself a cup of coffee, and turns away from the sink resolutely.] I know I'm right. I can't get a friggin' break. How do people live like this? [He's an army brat at heart, he never got away with a messy room or not doing the dishes, not once in his life.

He sips his coffee, listening to his ideas.] Sounds like a good idea. It would help if there was some kind of early warning system, or more information for the guard about what we're going up against.

[ Mentally hoping all wifi gets cut off but only in Tony's head. ]

He's obviously not the geriatric Rogers that I last saw on Genosha alongside you, so, yeah, it hardly matters. What is this, did you just namedrop me without the name because my mess made you hungry?

[ He doesn't have wifi in his head ~~right now~~, so you'd loose it too, jerk.

Have an eyebrow furrow there, because he hates multiverses so much sometimes wow.]

Uh, no. No he is not. And I didn't--

[ Tony snaps his mouth shut, sips his coffee and glowers a little bit. Yeah, maybe that is exactly why he name dropped you.]

Not the mess, that annoys me. Smells good though.

[ THATS AS CLOSE TO AN ADMISSION AS YOU WILL GET FROM HIM. ]

Edited (html oops) 2017-03-07 18:11 (UTC)

Tasted good, too.

[ Yes, be stubborn with him. Time to glare at the pile of dishes and leave them to Loki. If all else fails, they can pile them under the sheets of Loki's bed, because that is both annoying and effective.] If I say a butler, will you glare at me?

[ But there is the faintest smile curling his lips as he sips more coffee and sighs. Ah yes, sleep replacement.]

Yeah, I am going to have to talk with more of the guard team I thing, get a better idea of what is out there and what we don't want coming in. If we can get specimens that would be best, takes the guesswork out of creating parameters for the turrets.

[ HEAVY SIGH.]

This is all natural for you isn't it? Being pointedly obnoxious. Like, I want to be impressed but--

[ Look, you might as well be yelling at him. Tony hates that. Crossing his arms, Tony huffs a little before explaining. Nicely.

Mostly.]

Well first off, alternate universe. So, not wherever you are from. Second, I know as much as you do about this one but thanks for the vote of confidence there, unless you are saying I did this in which case, no, not this time.

[ Sips his coffee. ]

You don't like me very much wherever you are from, do you.

I would have doled out a plate for whoever was up at the same time, but no one was or you just weren't around. [ Maybe he is being pointedly obnoxious, but. ] That's not my fault! Don't tar me with your brush of lax bacon-grilling, I made loads.

[ Truth: he labelled two sandwiches in the fridge as WICCAN'S GRUB. ]

So you're saying that if I was around you would have shared. [ It's not that he doesn't believe you, but...] Do you eat as much as the super soldiers can? Like, are we going to have to overstock the fridge with food because we have a god, two super soldiers, and two sorcerers? Like, there is me and the other two normalish people but...

[ This could be a logistic nightmare.]

I'm saying you weren't, so as we say in Asgardia, 'with it you shouldst moste verily deal'.

[ Rolling his eyes, ugh. ]

You really are making a mountain out of an elven nipple.

I am not going to comment on nipples just yet, but excuse me for not wanting people to starve.

[ He can go without a decent amount compared to most. Maybe. They are going to find out at some point probably. ]

Yelling at my messes, petitioning me for my preferred grocery list ... Have you finally stopped waxing that 'tache, mom?

I know you didn't do this, they explained that when they pulled us all through. I wanna know why you're a different Tony than the asshole I'm used to.

[ He means asshole in a fond way. Ish. Maybe. ]

You know how when parents get a divorce, the kids sometimes end up resentful of one of them? It's kinda like that.

[ He doesn't dislike Tony. Mostly. He's just still irritated with him about everything, and layered on top is a whole bunch of residual guilt over what happened to Rhodey. Sam knows it's not his fault, but it hits too goddamn close to a nerve for him, and he's worried - or possibly pretty damn sure - that the Tony in his universe does blame him for it. ]

[ Tony opens his mouth, then snaps it shut, glaring. ]

That is actually an old joke, but you tried I guess.

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