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[hellicious]

[It might be fitting that Lucifer's first foray into the network of the new world he'd found himself on was an inquiry for trying to fix something he'd mucked up. It might well give a good glimpse into the fact that Lucifer didn't see too much outside of what affected him and those he cared about. This fell under that umbrella.

For those watching, they'll see an adult male with a charming British accent and dark hair and eyes, smiling at the screen in an attempt to cover just how important the question was to him.]

What would be a good gift idea for someone that says something along the lines of 'Sorry I broke you'? I'm not entirely sure chocolates will cut it.

[A moment and then he realizes how that may be construed.]

Not physically broke, mind you. More... theologically and mentally.

Comments

[ragnarsson]

Makes me wonder why anyone follows that religion. If I had a fifty-fifty chance of ending up in a place of eternal suffering, I'd be hard-pressed to be good all the time.

[Of course, Ivar's a teenage psychopath whose killed enough people to be labeled a serial killer by modern terms. So attempting to behave when he didn't have a conscience was doomed to failure from the start.]

[hellicious]

Ah, but there's the rub of it. Not sure how it works anywhere else, but whether you follow it or not, you're going to one or the other. There are no other gods in my world. I hear there are here. Met a few. Interesting types and I'd love to learn more. But that's their realm, and in mine...

Well. Sorry, boy, but we've plenty of Vikings in Hell who were very surprised not to be in Valhalla.

[ragnarsson]

Just makes me glad I was born in my own world and not your own. I've already broken just about every rule that Christians have.

[Thou shall not kill was a big one, but there was a couple others he'd barreled through at astounding speed. Ivar was a very good Viking, but not a very good person in general.]

[hellicious]

The book got a lot of it wrong. It's more intent.

[There were plenty of people who'd killed others up in the Silver City. They maybe were there because they felt remorse and hadn't enjoyed it as much as a Viking would.]

[ragnarsson]

Then I'd still be screwed. I like killing and even I know that's one of the main things they teach is wrong.

[Vikings in general enjoyed raiding and carnage, but Ivar took it to a whole other level. It actually made him happy, and to some extent, he got off on it. Sex and violence were inextricably linked in his mind.]

[hellicious]

Oh, you should have seen the Aztecs. Christians have no right to point fingers. They've slaughtered with the best of them. Every religion, every ethnic background has sacrifice. To appease their gods. For better weather. Because that's just the way it's been for so many years. They may have changed and call it war now, but it's still the sacrifice of a life for a cause. I've always said it just proves they aren't as removed from animals as Dad would like to claim, but that doesn't sit well with my siblings.

[ragnarsson]

If it didn't keep working, people wouldn't keep doing it. At least that's how it happens in my world. Sacrifice big enough and the gods will reward you with something you badly want.

[Hence why the Vikings were all about the human sacrifice and just fighting in general to please their gods.]

[hellicious]

Or, funnily enough, it could all be a placebo effect, mm? Kill a few people, get high on the rush, go off and win a bloody war. It's not like your gods step down from their pedestal to crush them under massive booted foot themselves, is it?

...

Or is it?

[ragnarsson]

If I needed the gods to kill my enemies for me, I wouldn't be much of a Viking. No, they only come for important occasions. When my father died, Odin himself came to tell my brothers and I.

[hellicious]

... Your so called gods come to be messenger boys of death, but you have to do all the heavy lifting? Doesn't sound like something to be worshiped, if you ask me. I'd say humans, all breeds, do well enough on their own. Divine intervention on any scope isn't necessary. Or required.

[ragnarsson]

The gods help those who are able to help themselves. You won't persuade me to stop worshiping. Especially not when there's a handful of them right here in the city.

[Some called them aliens, but Ivar knew better. For once, he wasn't the one speaking out of ignorance. Norse religion was much more complicated than that.]

[hellicious]

That or... well. You and the rest of your lot have all fallen victim to the biggest scam imaginable. But, trying to convince someone that religion is pointless when they've decided it isn't is equally pointless.

[ragnarsson]

So you claim your god is real but the rest are fictional? Sounds a bit hypocritical to me.

[But he is enjoying this debate quite a bit.]

[hellicious]

You don't listen that well, do you? One too many knocks on that rockhead of yours, perhaps. He's real in my world. In my reality, Dad and the rest of my siblings are the only celestial presences in existence. I've met a few other deities here. Norse, by the by. One of yours. But he's from another reality -- one in which me and mine might not exist. I've no know of the way of it in yours, blood-drinker.

But one has to find it a little odd that real or not, most realms seem to have the same pantheons, mm?

[ragnarsson]

I listen just fine, Devil. If I didn't, I would have tuned you out about five minutes ago.

Stands to reason there would be some consistents no matter where you go in any world. Otherwise I'd have run into someone for whom the sky is green.

[hellicious]

Perhaps there are a few of those here. There's certainly nonhumans dancing around as well, along with interesting aliens. Their worlds may be green. Or purple. Not to mention hell dimensions -- or other places that are that similar, but not so much. Though, then you have to wonder if Dad's in all of them or not. If not, who big banged everything into being?

[ragnarsson]

I don't know about your world, but mine was formed from the body of a dead jotnar slain in a battle with the gods. Also there was a cow licking the first people out of the ice involved.

[Norse religious stories may not have always made sense, but they certainly weren't lacking in interesting details.]

[hellicious]

... No.

[That's not how this works, Ivar. That's not how any of this works. Gosh.]

First there was Mum and Dad, then there was the big bang, then there was us and your little planet. And that had nothing to do with battles or cow licking.

[ragnarsson]

Mmmmm, nope. Don't believe it. After all, weren't you the one saying things might not be the same in one world as the other?

[He rejects your reality and substitutes it with his own.]

[hellicious]

Yes, well, I'll take a world with something close to logic instead of dead gods and licking cows. That's almost as ridiculous as it being on the back of a giant turtle.

[ragnarsson]

Who's to say it isn't? It's no more ridiculous than some old man deciding to create the world in seven days because he got bored with a big black nothing.

[Some call the Norse stories ridiculous. Ivar calls it the truth.]

[hellicious]

Dad isn't a man. Just as Mum isn't a woman. They're... well. Celestial entities of light and... look, it doesn't matter. That's how it came to be in my world, and if yours is about cows pulling out human maggots from a dead body, I think I'll stick with mine, thank you.

[ragnarsson]

Good. It appears we're at a point where we can agree to disagree.

[Which is just a more polite way of saying he still thought he was right and Lucifer was wrong, but still.]

[hellicious]

Right, well, if that's all, then? Lovely as this conversation isn't, I've other things I'd rather do.

[ragnarsson]

By all means, don't let me keep you from them.

[And with that, he hangs up. Interesting man. Or devil. Whatever he is, it's not often the Viking gets to discuss religion with a entity from a completely different pantheon.]