☂ video; un: liches.get.stitches

[spellslots]

Hail and well met, my dudes.
 
[Despite not having much experience with this kind of video technology, Taako has adapted pretty quickly, mostly because he’s vain as hell and gets to take pictures? Of himself? It’s amazing. So the camera is centered properly, he’s got Disguise Self cast to look the way he’s supposed to, and his stupidly long hair is braided down his back. ]

I got a couple'a things I wanna ask, figured this is the easiest way to do it.

[He holds up a finger, to count the first question:]

So weird thing here, has anyone heard of this fucked up black oil that, uh, that destroys worlds, I guess? [He casts Minor Illusion and the oil, similar to what he saw in Palmon's prophecy, appears in his hand. It's thick and dark and kind of unsettling.] Listen, I'm not really sure exactly what it is, but it's bad. When I saw this stuff, shit was like it'd drowned everything in sight. And uh, the gods are gone, seems like. Which is weird as hell and might be related. This ringing any bells?

[That was the worst explanation ever, but in his defence it's a pretty confusing situation. He's trying his best.]

Second lil thing. [He holds up a second finger, dropping the illusion so the oil disappears.] What the hell are all you thugs doing for money, 'cause gotta admit, I haven't got a whole lot of marketable skills but I'm fast running out of that sweet sweet cash and would really love to not starve, you know? Toss some ideas at me, I'm all ears.

[Get it, because he's an elf.

Well at least he thinks he's funny, since he's chuckling as he clicks off the video.]

Comments

[somnioergosum]

[Well, now that he mentions it, yeah that would make sense. So it's not all some odd get up and a "magic" trick. An actual honest to God wizard-elf.

Ronan thinks "maybe I can talk to him" at the same time as he thinks "don't tell anyone."]

So what, is she a good witch or a bad witch?

[Someone shoot him for that joke and put him and everyone else out of their misery. The stress must be getting to him.]

I've seem something like that oil shit before. It was a nightmare.

[Somewhat literally.]

[spellslots]

[The smile stays, like this isn't a big deal.]

Let's call it sabotage, that'll cover it.

["My assistant poisoned forty people and I thought it was a transmutation mistake and my fault" is a little too much to spill.]

[causational]

[Eddie's smile falters a little at that, a furrow forming between his brows.]

Well, I mean, unless the saboteur is here with you, then it's pretty unlikely that's gonna happen again.

[spellslots]

No one who can make scones that good is evil.

[Sorry Ronan the reference goes right over his stupid wizard head.

And he's more interested in the oil, anyway.]

What happened? It was gunking up the astral plane last I saw it, shit looked pretty bad, but I dunno what the deal is.

[spellslots]

Here's the thing, though, I don't wanna let anyone touch shit I'm cooking ever a-fucking-gain.

[Which would make it hard to like, work with other people? In a restaurant?

If he could do it alone that'd be fine, but he's not sure how to go about that.]

[burntbridges]

[And she... has not caught on.]

Oh, could you? That would be perfect. Someone who's seen outside of the perimeter would be best, but I'll take what I can get.

[spellslots]

[LETHA NO]

So some idiot from the perimeter guard, got it. Cool, cool, cool, cool.

[Look he might... not... do a murder? Maybe he'll just ask where the cemetery is.]

[somnioergosum]

It unmade a lot of things. Then it was stopped.

[Both Ronan's eyes and his voice lose their sharpness.]

How do you get to your astral plane? Scrying?

[causational]

That makes sense...

[A pause, and Eddie purses his lips, then licks them a little nervously, obviously lost in thought.]

I wonder if there's any way to make money off of magic, though. I mean, you were great on the wall. Maybe the Guard thing?

[spellslots]

[It was stopped is the most reassuring thing he's heard since he got to this place.

It's also nice to talk to someone who seems to know their shit.]

Magic Jar. Let's me move my soul around outta my body, the astral plane was open 'cause someone was dying.

[burntbridges]

[Look she'll be mad if they tell her he killed them but... she'll forgive him if he buys her ice cream.]

Thank you, Taako, you're a gem. Just... maybe don't bring them to the communal hall, I haven't mentioned my magic to some of my floormates. They might not like me handling a dead body in there, and depending on the age the smell may make them take it even worse. It might be better to take them to the edge of the woods.

[somnioergosum]

A magic jar?

[You know what? Ronan's just not going to be surprised by anything anymore. Elves, magic jars that make people soul project. That last part of Wizard-elf's sentence is the only bit that sounds familiar. He's forced to conclude, again, that he's destined from birth for a life of increasing crazy.

But hey, he'll take magic jars over being unmade.]

Do you have it with you to check the astral plane here?

[spellslots]

I can teach it, any thug can learn magic if they want.

[There's no innate skill required for wizardry, it's all just practice and dedication, and a little bit of smarts.]

[spellslots]

Yeah, unfortunately all I could see was through the rift.

[Magic Jar is more an ethereal plane thing, it was just a quirk of timing that he was able to see into the astral plane, where the oil was drowning everything.]

There's something I'm working on, to get me into the astral plane. It's not perfect yet.

[He needs to level up first.]

[spellslots]

[That gets a laugh, because:]

Oh! Do you want like an old one?

[burntbridges]

Well new ones tend to be annoying, all they do is whine about being dead.

[Says the woman who screamed and cried for an hour after dying.]

Skeletons are the easiest to talk to. They're the loneliest, and that makes them to happiest to share information.

[spellslots]

Super glad we cleared that one up!

[And what she's saying tracks, and he's willing to take her word on it since she's the necromancer, after all.]

I bet I can hook you up with a skeleton.

[burntbridges]

[It is around... right now that she realizes he was offering to kill someone.]

...Oh! Yes. I don't mind dealing with a fresh corpse if that's what it comes to, but I doubt the local law enforcement would appreciate one of their citizens disappearing. Or especially a perimeter guard.

[staystrong]

What else are they going to do? Never hire us for anything?

[They brought them here. They might as well let them earn cash in a way that doesn't involve guarding the fence. She knows there are others here that have gotten jobs because she's spent a little too much time being jealous of them. She gets a stipend, an allowance like a child.

Yeah it's free money, but it's also a reminder that she won't be taken as seriously here.]

It's worth a shot.

[spellslots]

[He does realize this is like, a public network, he just doesn't think that killing someone is that big of a deal, 'cause they do it with way too much frequency

It's mostly bad guys, so it events out.]

You know, probably not! I think they frown on that sorta thing.

[spellslots]

I sure as hell wouldn't!

[But he doesn't trust anyone, aside from Magnus and Merle, so this is yet another circumstance where his advice probably shouldn't be followed.

But, shocking everyone, he didn't miss what she said about at least you can, he was just distracted.]

What's your deal, my dude, they won't let you work?

[burntbridges]

[Letha could probably be considered more amoral here; people in Thornwell rarely care if someone died unless they're a Regis, and... even at that, the killer gets a slap on the wrist and the victim is scolded for letting it happen.]

I think if you ask around you can get help with your search. I'm friends with one of the perimeter guards - Roy Greenhilt - I'm sure if you mention my name he'll be happy to lend a hand in retrieving a corpse.

[Okay 'happy' is an overstatement but... Roy promised her a corpse and he owes her one.]

[spellslots]

Oh don't worry, I'm not as precious as I look.

[Because he's happy to present the image of being very fancy and fussy but he's a grubby little shit and has no qualms about digging up and handling a body.]

[staystrong]

Most places won't hire thirteen-year-olds.

[Not to mention her own skill set is fairly limited outside of survival and killing zombies in the face.]

[spellslots]

[With genuine surprise:]

What? Why the hell not?

[Taako was on his own at that age, it doesn't make sense that someone wouldn't hire a teenager who was willing to work.]