riverview | video; @r.peril

[This is actually Illya’s first post on the network, ever. He already doesn’t trust any kind of open communication, he knows how easily it can be bugged- and that’s not even taking into account the fact that they have to depend on a method of communication given by those who have basically kidnapped them. It’s useful, and he uses it to communicate with people but he sticks to one-on-one conversations.

...But, wouldn’t you know it, forgetting the main reason why he’s so careful apparently made him lower his guard. Who knew?]

Hello.

[He also looks way, way more relaxed, and one could almost call the way his lips seem to be twitching up a smile. Almost.]

Name is Illya, for those who don’t know me. Illya Kuryakin. I know most of us are dealing with.... Whatever is happening, with the loss of memory. But I think that’s all the more reason to be prepared.

[He goes on, unaware that he’s just… revealed his actual name to everyone over the network. Because since he forgot he’s a spy, he also forgot all about his secret identity. He’ll be pissed, but that’s apparently going to be a problem for future Illya.]

So I’ve been thinking about giving self-defense classes, to anyone who would be interested. I am most experienced in SAMBO, but I know many fighting styles. If you are looking for a sparring partner I would be interested, as well.

Thank you.

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[Illya shrugs, shaking is head and looking the most vulnerable Taako’s probably ever seen him. He may have forgotten he was a KGB spy, but that doesn’t change who he is- the need for control, the need to know is one of the most important things to him. And right now it feels like he just lost control of something very important and he’s not sure if he’ll get it back.]

Not blank spots, but some of the decisions I made or things I said do not make sense to me.

I’m supposed to be an athlete, why do I know firearms so well?

[It's weird, seeing Illya not so closed off, but he isn't going to take advantage of the memory loss to try to pry into anything. Illya's secrets are his own.]

I kinda assumed you were in the military at some point and just didn't wanna talk about that shit. Maybe that's what you forgot?

[He nods, because that’d make sense even if it doesn’t quite feel right. But to be honest, nothing feels quite right. He remembers being an athlete, he remembers loving his country and doing his best to make it proud, but there’s still an… intensity in everything he does he can’t quite figure out.]

Maybe. It’d explain why I know so many different kinds of martial arts and- just a lot of other small things like that.

But I wonder if everybody will be as understanding as you are.

That sounds like military to me.

[Spy isn't really something that Taako has a concept of; there are rogues, sure, but that's more a personal life choice, and there are probably spies in royal courts and shit like that, but the kind of global espionage that Illya is involved in doesn't quite exist.]

I mean, maybe? But uh, I'm pretty chill. I don't expect anyone to tell me their life fucking story just cause we're friends, you know?

Maybe I forgot I was a soldier. I am proud of my country and when I was little I... used to dream of that.

[It's incredibly frustrating, though, to be making guesses about his own life like this and not be able to know anything for sure. Hopefully they will figure out what's causing the memory loss soon because Illya is Not A Fan so far.]

I'm sure I had my reasons to lie. But I just want people to know that even if I didn't give them my actual name what I said, who I am was real. We're still friends.

Well that's all I needed to hear, bubbale. We're cool.

[That was his concern, that Alexei was some front with ulterior motives for befriending him, but it seems like that isn't the case, so he's reassured for him.

He feels like he needs to say more.]

I dunno what you forgot, maybe it's the soldier thing, maybe it's something else, but I, uh, I mean-- I get it. How it feels to be missing something important, we'll figure this out.

[He's... trying to be reassuring.]

[He nods, because this better be temporary. They may not have figured out the cause of this, but whatever it is it has to be temporary. Everything they have gone through, every weird stuff they have had to suffer has been temporary so all he can do is hope this will be temporary as well.]

What are you missing? Or... were missing?

Lup.

[It's easy to say casually, as if it didn't ruin his entire life, as if Lucretia didn't take everything from him.]

That was magic bullshit, I guess? We don't really know how the voidfish works.

Your own sister. That… had to be rough. [Not that he has any idea, he’s an only child, but still.

He remembers Taako talking about the voidfish, and how worried Illya himself had been at the idea of something like that existing. Of having something taken away from you and not knowing exactly what, even if you could tell something was missing. He figures whatever’s going is something similar.]

Do you think voidfish have anything to do with what’s going on?

That's one word for it.

[It was literally the worst thing that's ever happened to him, and he's died multiple times.

Still, he shrugs.]

Nah, anything fed to the voidfish statics out, and they need to be fed that shit, they can't just pluck knowledge outta thing air, it's gotta be written down.

[He sighs, reaching to rub the bridge of his nose.] I figured that would have been too easy, and you'd have shared already if you thought that was the case.

But it's just really frustrating that we're at square zero on this.

I'll be real with you, I'm fucking glad it wasn't more bullshit from my world.

[A few people got annoyed with him over the chalice, and this is kind of worse, in ways, so he's glad to avoid any kind of responsibility.]

Someone's gotta figure it out soon. There's a bunch of fucking nerds here, one of them has to be able to work out something.

Yes, I can see how that would be reassuring. There’s nothing that would cause… these very specific symptoms in my world, not in so many people at once so I know it doesn’t come from mine either.

[He reaches to rub the back of his head.] I wish we had any kind of leads but we don’t even know where this started, who patient zero is. All we have is hope this will be temporary also.

I'm gonna head to Gramayre, see if anyone there has figured shit out. I don't think it's magic, but maybe it's some magical animal or something that my own shit doesn't pick up on, you know?

Please, tell me what you find. I have pretty good access to most police files with my clearance so I will try to see if they are following any leads that could tell us where to start looking, but I get the feeling if this was the local's fault they wouldn't tell us until they were 100% sure.

Seems like that's as good a place to start as any. [He realizes he's never really specifically asked what Alex-- what Illya does, but that doesn't mean anything.] I'll give you a call if I turn anything up?

Please do, and I will do the same. Hopefully working on two fronts will play in our favor.

We can only hope. Good luck, bubbale.

[With a little salute, he cuts the feed.]

video; @r.peril

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