video | un: iron.man

[buildsomething]

[Tony's in his workroom, look surprised. His expression is deadpan, but there's something almost pleased underneath it. An almost imperceptible loosening of the tension that's always there in the set of his shoulders.]

So I know we're all well aware that this place is weird as hell, but does stuff just like. Turn up sometimes? Your stuff, I mean. From home.

[As he's talking, a metal arm pops into view behind him. The claw at the front of the arm clicks together once, then starts slowly creeping forward like it's trying to peer at the camera over Tony's shoulder. It's about the least subtle thing imaginable, considering the robot's sheer size, but Tony seems to be quite comfortably ignoring it.

At least until the claw nearly knocks right into the camera and Tony has to move it out of the way like he's holding it out of the range of a toddler. The robot arm is still taking up most of the image now, though. When Tony's voice comes again, it's more than a little resigned.]

'Cause this definitely mine. Unfortunately.

Comments

[wingedman]

They must not appreciate your contributions enough. Or maybe they decided the city didn't need an overcompensating monstrosity.

But, hey, at least Happy's in second place now.

[buildsomething]

Yeah, I notice you were perfectly content to hang out in my overcompensating monstrosity.

And is that you throwing shade at my Chief of Security? Not cool, Wilson.

[wingedman]

I'll hang out anywhere with free booze. Doesn't change the fact that you plopped down a big ol' phallic tower in the middle of the city.

Is that what he is? I thought you had robots to handle that kinda thing. And not just The Claw there.

[buildsomething]

Yeah, Midtown sure was a completely flat plain before I got there.

[Tony finally reaches up to shove Dum-E out of the way so that he can give Sam the full force of his best unimpressed look.]

This may shock you, but Stark Industries is actually staffed by human beings

[wingedman]

Yeah, but I don't know any other billionaires with skyscrapers to make fun of.

[It's okay, Tony, he knows you don't really need to compensate for anything.]

Is it, or do you just have the humans shut up in tubes to provide power for the robots?

[buildsomething]

Of course not, humans don't provide enough of a charge. Complete waste of resources.

[So deadpan. All the deadpan.]

[wingedman]

Great pun, though. Your buddy there could be in charge of human resources.

[buildsomething]

Dum-E is in charge of cleaning and occasionally fire extinguishers and he fails at that. He doesn't get any other jobs until he manages those.

[wingedman]

Who wants to be in charge of cleaning and fire extinguishers? Maybe he'd do better if you gave him something that would give him the chance to be creative.

[buildsomething]

He's a thirty-year-old robot, Sam, he doesn't have any creativity.

[wingedman]

How do you know? You gotta be nice to robots sometimes, Stark.

[buildsomething]

How would you know? How many robots have you met?

[wingedman]

I have a robot, remember?

Also your other self is building a small army of roombas in his workshop. They like to eat my shoelaces. Or sometimes set them on fire.

[buildsomething]

You have a robot I built.

Dum-E's at least never set anything on fire, so I guess he's got that going for him.

[Attempting to put them out, however...]

[wingedman]

Yeah, so be nice to him.

[Nobody respects Redwing. :c]

Well, see, that's not a complete failure in the fire extinguishing department. He might not be putting them out, but at least he's not setting them.

[buildsomething]

Well more like he's. Overenthusiastic. Let me tell you how much fun it is washing that foam out of your hair.

[wingedman]

Just leave it in there, tell everyone it's product. You're Tony Stark, you can get away with it.

[buildsomething]

Yeah no. There are some lines even I won't cross.

Pretty sure that stuff isn't great for you, too.

[wingedman]

-You ever thought about trying to get him to be your cameraman? You know, hold the phone while you talk.

[buildsomething]

Well usually U is the cameraman. I guess we can make do with what we have.

[wingedman]

He's got fingers, he can hold it. It's like having a kid, you give them bigger responsibilities so they can feel important. Build up their self-worth.

[buildsomething]

I know he can, it's whether or not he should that's the issue.

[There's a pause before Tony gives him an almost affronted look.]

I let him hit me with a fire extinguisher how much bigger of a responsibility can I give him?