Video; thunderer [Thor 3 Spoilers]

[worldsaway]

[You can tell from the moment Thor's face appears on camera, he's been through hell and back. His hair is almost entirely buzzed down, save for the tufts on top, with markings shaved into the sides. His eye is covered by a black patch, indicating an injury that he isn't happy to talk about.]

I've made some changes. [Bluntly, as if he consented to any of this.]

What else.. Some things have happened at home that may be of interest to some of you. [He hums, considering.] Odin is dead. I have another sister? Her name is Hela. Mjolnir is destroyed. Banner is alive. [He feels a little guilty revealing that one, but he thinks someone deserves to know.] I fought the Hulk. I won. I met a real, live Valkyrie- And Asgard is.. [A people, not a place, but..] The realm has been destroyed. My people are seeking refuge, I suppose I understand now what displacement feels like.

I have the remains of Asgard in a ship, floating through space. If a portal could open for them, that would be extremely useful to me right now. I'm a king with no land or people, now. Very poetic. [Does he seem terse? He's kind of tense.


And then Loki comes barging in, looking very much the same and carrying a large parchment. He glances at the recording with a frown. He places the map of Earth on the wall, pinning it with a single dagger.]

Must you reveal everything? Put that away, I have work for you.

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[dothelokimotion]

[ In a quiet voice. ]

We?

[livingsymbol]

We. [ He repeats it with confidence. ]

You don't think I'll leave you to deal with this alone, do you?

[dothelokimotion]

[ Loki blinks quiet tears from his eyes. He reaches to wrap his fingers around Steve's collar and pulls him into a desperate kiss, salt on his lips. ]

Come with me.

[livingsymbol]

Come where?

[Because in the aftermath of that kiss Steve is confused, wondering momentarily what Loki means. Then he smiles, putting his arms around him.]

You mean to your world?

[dothelokimotion]

Yes.

[ It's unfair of Loki to ask this, he knows. He's the one who refused Steve's offer to go back to his world. Still, Loki is nothing if not selfish and unfair. He won't let his fear stop him from asking and if Steve says no, then Loki can respect that, but he won't leave the question mired in doubt. He presses his forehead against Steve's in a quiet muted sigh. ]

I know I'm not — [ He's not enough, he never will be. ] — I may not be enough. I know that at times you feel the same. So damn all of that and come with me.

[livingsymbol]

[ Steve's eyes widen. He was not prepared for that question, no matter how much he may care for Loki and how ready he always believes himself to be. It's asking him to set aside decades worth of dedication and people he's committed to. Maybe it isn't forever, but the abrupt way he ends up facing the decision leaves him stumbling. ]

I... don't know. I have to help watch out for the people here. And there are those at home that need me.

[ It's an ingrained answer, one he has grown so used to over the years. But now Steve isn't sure how true it is. ]

[dothelokimotion]

[ Loki nods. He knows, deep down that Steve could not. Would not. He has ties in other places and even if those foundations are shaky, Steve would find himself again. Loki is a passing thought. And when faced with this decision, could Loki leave Thor? Probably. It's different for him. Either way . . . Either way . . .

He swallows it down with a smile. He asked. Whatever comes of it, Loki has no regrets in this. He asked. He did not remain in doubt. He smooths down Steve's hair gently. ]

It is fine. I understand.

I love you still.

[livingsymbol]

[ There's a quiet chill that works its way up Steve's spine as he watches the tension leave Loki and bring back a smile the blond knows as resignation. The cold clutches at him, wrapping around muscle and bone until he feels his chest clench taut, driving out the air. He clenches his teeth, bites against the sting of it, and refuses to let it keep him stunned. But he knows he let Loki down. This was a pivotal decision, one the god was handing him in good faith, and in the end, Steve couldn't rise to meet his request. ]

I'm sorry.

[ It's been a while since he said something that just wasn't good enough. ]

[dothelokimotion]

For what?

[ He continues to play with Steve's hair to keep his hands occupied. Otherwise he'd start fidgeting and the last thing he wishes to do is leave room for doubt. But he is gentle as he brushes a kiss against Steve's forehead. ]

I didn't simply ask for you, to measure you up to this decision. I asked for me. I rather know than . . . leave it to doubt. To never ask and never know. Do not be sorry that your calling is elsewhere. Be proud of it.

[livingsymbol]

I'm not.

[ He should be happy to have that purpose to call him back, to go home to, but with his friends here under tentative circumstances and now this with Loki Steve isn't happy at all. He feels out of sorts, unable to stay in one place and be confident he made the right choice. ]

I'm proud of you. You right now... I wish I had the answer you wanted.

[dothelokimotion]

Better that I have an answer than just one I wished for.

[ Getting what he wants, well, it's not always for the best. After all, that is how Odin justified the lie he raised Loki in. Yes, there are things Loki still wants and he would have been overjoyed if Steve came. But not at the expense of Steve's happiness. ]

Be at ease. I am not upset.

[livingsymbol]

[ He's not upset, he says, but to Steve the failure is there. He's paying for his life by making the most of it; doing whatever he can to help the people around him. And now he can't help someone he's come to love.

He nods, unsure what to do or what his feelings really are. ]

[dothelokimotion]

[ Honestly, Loki is not sure what he expected. He doesn't have a future outlined and love plays no part in it. The fact that, from what he can recall, drifting in space without any real plans sort of throws a wrench even in Riverview. Thor may have plans and Bryn's plans may coincide with Thor's, but they are still gods playing with mortals. Even if they mean well . . . it's never a good thing. ]

Nor do I think you've let me down. You know who you are. Where your calling is.

[livingsymbol]

[Steve makes a noncommittal noise. He does know who he is and what he is meant to be, but where is still in question. Bucky is struggling with that answer as well and Steve knows irrefutably that he can't abandon his friend. But he can't completely turn his back on anyone. His world or Quarantine or the people he's met.]

Sometimes I don't think I know half of what people think I do.

[dothelokimotion]

Is that not the nature of people? To form conclusions based on hearsay and assumptions?

[ Which isn't to say Loki doesn't struggle against it, but he does the same thing. It's a hypocrisy he's accepted, not quite circumvented though. ]

What do you want them to know of you? If there is only one thing they can remember and keep in mind?

[livingsymbol]

It's... a tendency. But people just want answers. We get carried away, but I can't blame them for that.

[ Just as he can't help being made uncomfortable by it. Steve is caught, discontent and not sure how to correct it. He makes his own prison and like a lot of people isn't sure how to get around that. ]

I want them to be able to believe. In themselves, not me. I don't have to be their hero. But I am here for them.

[dothelokimotion]

[ Loki rests his hand over Steve's heart, steady and cool. ]

Then perhaps you should lead with that. And not give way when they promote you. Push back, Steve.

[livingsymbol]

[Steve looks down at Loki's hand and smiles. It's a reassuring touch, one he's grown to care for deeply.]

If that's what gives them hope, then I have to be there.

It's not my right to take their dreams away.

[dothelokimotion]

[ Loki pokes Steve's chest as a tease. ]

I do not think you'll be taking it away so much as changing the narrative.

Is that not your dream? To imbue them as well as yourself? Why be only one?

[livingsymbol]

[ Steve puts his hand over Loki's gently. ]

It doesn't matter who I am. If it isn't me, it'll be someone else carrying the shield. The important part is that people still have someone to look to, to believe won't let them down or abandon them when they need a symbol to pull them through.

I don't mind it. It was never my story. I'm just filling in.

[dothelokimotion]

It matters to me.

[ It's a little sharp and Loki bites his tongue at it, looking vaguely contrite. Maybe it hits a little too close to him, akin to his own line of thinking. When being a villain was easy because Loki could simply let that story stand and not care about the rest. Not let anything else matter. ]

It feels like you hold a two-sided dagger. You need it with you, but it cuts you open.

[ He swallows. ]

I don't like that. I don't like your pain. You should have your own story. Here or — anywhere else. Even without me.

[livingsymbol]

It's not just you.

[Steve is surprised by the way Loki seems to suddenly tense up, ready to fight, and fight on his behalf. He was created to be the hope and support for others, to fight the battles they couldn't and inspire them to take on the ones they could. He's always been ready to do what was needed, whether he carried the mantle officially or not, because that has always been part of him. He can't imagine being someone without it. He's been that symbol for almost all of his adult life.]

I accept the pain. It's something only I can do.

[He moves closer, putting a hand on the back of Loki's neck and pulling him forward.]

It might not be my story, but it's a story that means a lot to other people. I volunteered because I wanted to help. I can do it.

But I'd rather do it with you. If you can come to accept him.

[dothelokimotion]

[ Loki huffs under his breath, even as he rests his forehead against Steve's tenderly. ]

I chose Steve.

[ Flaws, vices and all. It was not the goodness of Steve's heart that adhered him. It was Steve's willingness to accept him just as Loki was willing to accept Steve. He knows he cannot explain it well if anyone asked him why. Not that Loki cares what other people think. ]

But I . . . won't mind seeing what you show me.

[livingsymbol]

I know you did.

[ He can feel the resistance. The pull that inevitably draws everyone away. He can't blame them for wanting to avoid that complicated life. Bernie had found it too much as well, because loving Steve Rogers was one thing, but learning to deal with Captain America was always going to be a trial. Maybe that's why he was the one that really stuck with it. Everyone else was devoured by the task or got smart. ]

We can both see what happens.

[dothelokimotion]

[ There is certainly a part of him that fears Captain America. He's heard too much from Steve not to be wary. It is a bias he knows that lurks close by. He doesn't want to shy away from it, but he gets the feeling that it is Captain America that'll take Steve away more than any other person. ]

I will follow your lead.