riverview | video | un: undertaker

{The entire scenario makes him miserable, frankly, and he doesn't hide it well. He is like a dog on a leash watching its puppy fall into the clutches of some greater beast. Panicking has occurred to him - frequently - but he is doing his best to hold that in check.

The hand does steady him and he looks to Undertaker for sincere advice on the matter. He is completely out of his depth and he is painfully aware of it.}

Please do. {He leans his head to the side, resting his cheek against the hand on his shoulder.} Do not kill him kindly. He seeks to devour that which is more precious than a thousand of him.

{No, a million.}

Can a demon hurt you? {The possibility undoes any reassurance he may have felt.} Undertaker, if the beast comes here, you know I do not mind playing bait whilst you deal with it.

[Well, so much for soothing his poor Earl and bringing him away from grief over the loss of his dear wife. What good of it all if he has only led him right into the reality of his son's condition? In a way, it's not, but they're bringing up the roots of the man's problems, and Vincent isn't facing them alone anymore. He will worry, as fathers do, but he will not stay up reading books that hold no meaning to him to try and stave it off now.]

[At least, Undertaker hopes he will not. What he does do is scoot a little more to face Vincent fully and gather both hands in one of his own while he lifts the other to cup the cheek nuzzling into him. His voice softens, offering reassurances and certainties that he feels in himself.]

My lord, I will not lie to you on this. It is possible that a demon can hurt me, maybe even kill me. A grim reaper is only a human, killed by his own hand and bound to the heavens. But I am not without my own experience, and I have fought this demon before. It isn't your soul it wants, although it may use you to get the one it needs. If push comes to shove, you would better serve your son to stay far away, and I know you can't do that.

[He pauses there, stroking his palm down against Vincent's cheek as he would have done for his son decades ago, perhaps if he'd fallen off his horse or lost a fencing match.] I will keep you in the loop with what I learn, my lord. There are purification rituals that may help here in this world, but I need a little more time to research it all. The texts are very old, and this is not our home. For now, love your son. Love your son as if today is your last with him.

[He can't help the glimmer in his own eyes then, feeling the emotion well up in him, but with a blink it's gone. His smile softens that much more, thumb stroking over the man's cheek once before settling the hand back down on the shoulder again and leaving it there.]

{No, he isn't facing them alone and he is beginning to realize and accept as much. Undertaker has freely offered him and his son relief, information and a home that feels safe. It is remarkable in and of itself that any of them sleep well - or at all - and he owes that occurrence to Undertaker.

Somehow he needs to speak to Ciel about returning the many favors. They might be nobles and they might be spoiled, but they are not blind and deaf.

He opens his mouth to tell his friend to not risk his life, but he can't find the words. Ciel is...one of the two best additions he has ever made to the world. Vincent will never forget the day his little sons were born nor how shocked he had been to see two babies - perfect and whole - instead of one! Undertaker had been one of the first informed of their births and Vincent was delighted when the man visited long enough to join his sons in their adventures.

This is another adventure; an adventure that can turn into a tragedy. His features are gentle and sad, yet he makes himself listen. Only through learning the full truth can he make an informed decision. Now is not the time to fight - nor is it the time to run. He leans in and rests their foreheads together, frowning faintly.}

...I cannot let it hurt him or you. My soul might not be the one it craves, but I can make a pest of myself.

{A small hum follows the stroking and he feels revitalized. They do have time and he can learn how best to trap a demon. The killing he gladly leaves up to Undertaker.}

I will read of them too. I know Latin, German and French. {Actually he would love to kill the demon. Oh he would make it hurt. However that desire pales, for the time being, in comparison to his curiosity.} I will not let him go without a fight.

{It will never be easy to phrase his next question, so he decides to come out with it directly.}

Do you have any sons?

Edited 2017-12-04 06:36 (UTC)

[It won't ever cease to amaze and amuse him, just what humans are and what they can be, from the best of it to the worst. Having lived a mortician's life, he has seen both in their extremes and all in between, and now he is seeing it again. Vincent has no real concept of what he is promising to fight against, but he would do it anyway for his boy.]

[How very touching. It warms a place in him that he knows has always been there, only in slumber until some decades before. He exhales softly at the touch of their foreheads, closing his eyes and letting his fingers knead gently on the skin and cloth they touch in kind for the affection.]

I would ask you not to make a pest of yourself to the demon, but I would be grateful to have the help in my research. I know enough of one or two languages to be a pest myself, but not enough to truly understand it. Most of it is in English, to my relief. But please. The next time I visit the archives here, I'll bring you along.

[That question, as difficult as it is to pose, is as difficult to answer. But really, there is only one answer. He could just as easily lie about it and Vincent would know no different, but it is what it is.] I had one son. Long ago.

{Humans have so many characteristics - some downright heroic and others infinitely cowardly. Vincent will admit to his deficiencies, but he makes no qualms about showing where he is very proficient too. He does not fear death for himself. He had faced the attackers without a shout for help, but time had been so limited. All he had been able to do was shield Rachel and then...

Everything hurt, the blood left him rapidly and he had perished. The memory of that moment - where he felt so heavy and so sick - makes him forget a breath. His eyes refocus on Undertaker and he breathes in a mite sharply, pressing against the other man's forehead a little more.}

I would be glad to come with you. {He frowns faintly, sadly at how Undertaker answers his question. He lifts a hand to smooth over his friend's cheek.} Did you lose him?

[His attention having been all on Vincent, he notices when a breath is missed and wonders what it is going through the man's head at that very instant. It isn't hard to imagine what he might be thinking, but he's curious for the exact thoughts. His head tilts, though he won't ask after them, and he grins against the nuzzle, having nothing against it.]

Then it's a date. I'll be heading that way tomorrow at some time, if you're not busy.

[The hand against his cheek gets a nuzzle of its own and his grin fades again as he considers his response. There is a moment's hesitation before he will answer.] Yes and no. I'm a poor excuse for a father. The boy never knew me, and for that I was glad. He had a better life without me.

{A weak smile brightens his features, chasing away the shadows caused by one horrible day. His sons' birthdays. What a horrible legacy. And now a demon is taking advantage of the situation? Oh he needs to be disposed of right quick!}

Tomorrow it is then. {As long as he sees to the demands of the ballet and its patrons, his schedule is more or less up to him. He likes the freedom and he prefers it much more than having a desk job.

The nuzzle makes his heart ache and he can't wholly explain why.} I cannot say that is true. He might have taken after you and benefitted from your experience.

[Some part in the back of his mind wonders how long he can really carry this on, beating around the bush with this story, before Vincent or Ciel start to put two and two together. Ciel, at least, knows about the mourning chain and the names upon it. Father and son will talk, and he doesn't doubt that at some point or another, his name will enter the conversation.]

[Not that he'll complain. Not that he'll be angry with them for it. They'll speak of him as they please, with or without him around. But he has to ask himself, just once more, if or not he wants them to know sooner or later.]

[He nods, confirming that they will, indeed, visit the library tomorrow to sift through what they can.]

He did inherit a few features from me, I suppose. No one made a fuss about it, and that's a relief. Everything could have been ruined if they had.

{The truth will be revealed eventually. If not now, then later. Vincent tilts his head, blinking as some of his hair becomes tangled with his eyelashes. That is rather ticklish, though it hardly matters in light of the current conversation.}

Why would they make a fuss? Unless his mother was promised to another? {Undertaker. He sighs and sits back.} The heart can't help who it longs for in the end.

[His hair is long enough it has tickled him just as well time and time again, but it's something he has had to live with while he let it grow out. It wasn't always as long as it is now, but those growing pains come with everything, regardless of individual or time or place.]

[He doesn't blame Vincent for leaning back and away from the mess.]

Oh, but she was. You know as well as I do that women have so little choice when it comes to the way their lives go in our time. She was willful and strong, but she also was betrothed.

{Who knows what Vincent might have done with his if given enough time. He likes his hair on the longer side of respectable - or so Franny tells him constantly - so who knows? He might have grown it out all the way. For now it adds to his mystery~~, which attracts those like Kelvin~~.}

I gave Rachel a choice. We were a good match - everything was as it should be - but if she did not love me then there was no point to it.

{He stretches out his legs and smiles.} She loved you.

[That would have been interesting to see. Vincent with his hair at a length, bound at the back of his head.]

You're also a considerate man, and you have some sway in who you marry as such. Husbands and wives don't often marry for love, they marry for convenience or political or social advantage. The woman I loved was a victim of the same, but she turned it to her advantage, as any smart woman in her position would do. She was attracted to me for certain, but she would never say she loved me, and she would never let me tell her I loved her. We both knew where she would be in the end and she didn't want either of us to regret it. So I gave her and she gave me one night. We loved as if it would never end. [He shrugged.] I never imagined what would come of it.

[He hesitated.] Or, rather, who.

Edited 2017-12-05 03:44 (UTC)

{The tale is too romantic for him to not be moved by it. There are also some curious similarities to his own situation. He favored his mother from birth, yet one would think there would be some resemblance to his father too. However there never was even the tiniest speck of familiarity. After Claudia died, Vincent became even more estranged from his father, finding it difficult - if not impossible - to feel affection for him.

The feeling seemed to be mutual too. He had told Rachel everything and they had decided that he would be very involved in their children's lives. He wouldn't be cold like his father had been - and their children would most certainly favor them both. Once he had seen and held his little twins, Vincent had begun considering a new possibility.

What if his father wasn't his father? Claudia was indeed a willful woman and she knew her mind without question. He took after her in most aspects except...a few.}

...did she know you fathered the child?

[He tilted his head, casting his gaze aside for a a short time as he considered the thought. If Claudia knew, she never mentioned it to him, but he had a suspicion that she thought her son the legitimate child of her husband, if for no other reason than to preserve the family line.]

In truth, I will never be sure if she knew. I've lived a long, long life, but I've never once fathered offspring until my son came along. I may not have known that he was my own until... [Again, he hesitated, for the first time in a long time, felt a nervousness creep in on him, despite the easy smile on his features.] Well. He started seeing things he shouldn't have.

{It's easy to say something is a coincidence and leave it at that. Vincent has a sneaking suspicion Undertaker would allow him to be that willfully ignorant. But he isn't that sort of person.

Neither of them are, really.} ...like strange men in suits? {Is it possible that his father - his true father - has been under his nose this whole time?}

Undertaker, I do not think your name is all that fitting anymore.

[Somehow, he'd seen that going far worse in an irrational and not entirely sane part of his mind. But he shakes it aside with a rustle of his hair and forces a wider grin from himself.] Something like that.

[He had no other reason to tell Vincent than that he'd wanted the man to know, for himself. It was a selfish reason, but it would explain something that the Earl had been seeing for who knew how long.] All those times your father told you that you were crazy for seeing what you did, now you know you weren't. But don't you dare start calling me what I think you mean, and I mean that. I didn't raise you, I was never there for you. I don't deserve it. Your name and title are yours and you'd best not let this try to take that from you.

{He is a little too old for teenage outbursts. Besides Undertaker is answering many old questions and since he is fond of him already, this is not something that causes him grief.}

He and I rarely saw eye to eye. {He smiles through the pain; he has long since accepted that he was not the favored child.} After mother passed, it was just...worse. We were almost complete strangers. But I had Franny so it didn't matter.

{Then he had completed school, befriended Diedrich amongst others and married Rachel. The Phantomhive estates fell to him - they had belonged to Claudia and she had named him her heir. All went a little too smoothly.}

I can't rightly say when he died. Does that make me a horrible son? {Maybe. He is horrible for other reasons too.}

I wouldn't say you were never there for me.

[In that, he feels a flash of renewed regret, more than what he carries having estranged himself from all but the Phantomhive's mortician and informant all this time while he had a son in and among them. He hadn't been terribly close to Claudia's husband, more the tool to be used than the confidant Vincent made him to be. It was no wonder Claudia was hesitant to wed, but it was beyond her control.]

You did as you were meant to do as the Phantomhive heir, and I hear your people love you far better than the former Earl. That's more than can be said of your father. Sure, he kept business running, but he wasn't kind about it. I wouldn't say you're a horrible son for distancing yourself.

[He shook his head, wanting to argue the rest, but kept his silence on it. He hadn't been there for Vincent or his step sister, not in the ways a father should be there for his child. He himself had been raised better than that, but time had certainly changed him.]

{Some part of him - some little speck of the child he used to be - gives into a whim, then. He leans in and rests his forehead against Undertaker's shoulder, eyes closed. Yes, there is that feeling of being appreciated and protected. Even if his friend and confidante did nothing else for him, this is more than his father ever did.}

I was lucky. Right when I needed it most, my friends and my wife-to-be closed in around me. Franny was there too, distracting me with being the best Earl possible. I think I disappointed her more often than not, but I am myself. I cannot pretend to be anyone else and I will not do something that is at odds with who I am.

{He lifts his head slowly.} I have no wish to distance myself from you.

[Following that whim, he tilts his head against Vincent's and lets the man stay there as long as he wants. Leaving himself to balance against hand, he lifts the other to stroke a line from the back of the Earl's neck down to a shoulder blade and leaves it there until Vincent wants to pull away.]

They're all good people. You've a lot of your mother in you, but they did well to help you as you grew. I've no doubt you helped them just as much. It's what you do, as little or well as I know you. If you had become anything other than what you are, I might find myself disappointed in you for your mother's sake.

[When Vincent pulls back, he separates himself without protest, even if a piece of himself doesn't want the air between them now more than anything.] I'll thank you for that, if for nothing else, then for your son's sake.

{The kindness Undertaker shows isn't at random or without meaning. Vincent finally understands that it stems from a bond they have shared since the beginning. He cherishes that bond even if Undertaker does not want the title that generally goes with it. Words can be misunderstood or lies; he will hold onto this feeling instead.}

I rely on others and they rely on me. I am not above anyone; we all have roles to play. {He had informed the twins of their place on the estate and what would be expected of them.} So you are not disappointed?

{He feels a spot of warmth in his chest and though he pulls back, his smile is more open and more honest.}

Should I tell him?

Edited 2017-12-05 05:36 (UTC)

[He leans back against his palms on the bedding, humming in thought.] No, no. I jest. I've never been disappointed in you and you've all the right in the world to dismiss that if I was. All I would ask of you is to let me be as I always have been to you. I will be no less.

[If he was ever disappointed in either of them, it was himself, but that feeling seems far from here now, farther and farther away the more brilliant Vincent's smile becomes.] Let me tell him, my lord. I won't leave that on your shoulders. He already knows I'm connected to your mother somehow. If I don't tell him, he will find out in time, but now that I've let the cat out of the bag with you, I may as well confess to him.

{His cheeks grow hot and he chuckles bashfully.} Why would I dismiss your opinion? I have held it in high-esteem for this long. {He grows solemn and thinks back on what Undertaker had done for him; for his son.} You are not far off the mark for being a father, though I am hardly one to judge.

{The choice is entirely right and Vincent presses a kiss to Undertaker's cheek.}

I will leave it to you. {Slipping off the bed at last, he pulls on his shoes and makes his way to the door.} Are you hungry?

[He shrugs, a simple enough gesture, and the blush on Vincent pulls at heartstrings.] That would be for you to decide. We've been civil enough all this time and I don't expect that to change, though if it makes you happy, we can both call ourselves terrible fathers and be at peace.

[Another jest. His grin softens when Vincent moves close and kisses his cheek, and he could have sworn his heart skipped a beat. It's enough of a change from what they normally do that the surprise takes him a moment to recover from.]

Me? I'm fine, thank you, but I'll be glad to join you for a cup of tea, if you don't mind. [Before he stands, he reaches back behind him for the brush, intent on putting it back on his way downstairs after the Earl.] And thank you again for helping me with this mess of hair on my head.

Oh I think now is the perfect opportunity to begin hating you! {He grins, his comment obviously meant as a jest.} How shall I punish you for being such a terrible father? I am too old for fits or tantrums and I can do as I like without permission... Perhaps the true punishment is in spending time with me at all?

{But he knows that isn't so. He has loved Undertaker for awhile and to have that love verified as the same sort he holds for his mother, well, that just makes him happy.}

I don't mind in the least. {He makes his way down the hall, humming.} I enjoyed the task, so you needn't thank me.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject