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video | un: iron.man

[The video opens on a very nice view of a warehouse ceiling, at least until there's a muffled curse offscreen and it tilts to reveal one Tony Stark. He's practically vibrating with the kind of manic energy that means he's been working for possibly too long, all hair standing on end and a few dark smudges on his face, but he looks pleased at least. Just behind him is a glowing blue hologram picking out the lines of something circular, spinning lazily like it was hurriedly abandoned.]

So hey, you all know those power plants out there in yonder abandoned wasteland? Sure you do. I know there's one working, but I've got some ideas for how to give the other ones a good kick. Thing is, I could use an extra hand.

[The metal arm that's been slowly rolling along behind him suddenly straightens and twists in Tony's direction, claw at the front contracting. Without looking back, Tony just snorts.] Not you. [The arm droops, somehow giving the impression of looking disappointed, but continues his trek to wherever he thinks he's going.]

Anyway, yes. Manpower needed. Preferably the kind that knows it's way around a welding iron, but I'll take what I can get. Oh, and a metric shitload of palladium. So if anybody's got a spare catalytic converter or twenty, let me know.

[He reaches for the phone, then pauses, something slightly sardonic flicking across his mouth.]

Or if one of you magic types wants to straw-into-gold me up some, I'll take that too.

Thanks in advance.

[Looking much more satisfied, he reaches the rest of the way to cut the feed.]

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Uhh. Heey. [ Peter waves a small wave. ] New guy in town. New guy with maybe possibly some of that manpower you need?

[ Sure, he doesn't look like much - all lanky and string bean-y, but that's how perfect alter-egos are formed, right? ]

I know my way around a welding iron and - uh. Some of that kinda stuff.

Well, who am I to turn down a science guy?

[He's not gonna comment on exactly how old this particular science guy looks. Who's Tony to talk?]

What other kind of stuff, out of curiosity?

Yeah - yeah, you can't, that's the thing. [ Peter chuckles. ] Good to know someone recognizes the Science Guy.

[ One of Peter's earliest heroes, whatever, don't laugh, he's #legit. ]

Back home I used to make things. Gadgets. Electronics.

[ Made his own webbing, too, but he's not going to reveal that much just yet. Or ever. ]

Graduated with honours in the sciences, so I guess it's kinda my thing.

[Okay, so he's out of school, at least. That's...good?]

Gadgeteer guy, huh? I know how that goes. Got an actual name?

[ Welll ... out of high school, anyway.

Freshman in college; go Bobcats??? ]

Oh - uh. Yeah. It's Peter.

[ Wait for it ... ]

Peter Parker.

[ ... :D ]

[The slightly belated doubletake Tony does is still almost enough to give him whiplash.

...except there's no recognition there, he can tell. Which means this is another one of those goddamn alternate universe things.]

Well. That's a thing. The name Tony Stark mean anything to you?

[Maybe he knows one of the other Starks? This is going to give him a headache.]

Yeah. [ Peter bobs his head, nodding. ] Like Iron Man; like your username. Who doesn't know the name Tony Stark?

It's in the paper sometimes. Or was. [ He has to remind himself of where he is. ] Was in the paper.

Never met him before though.

[ Literally never had a reason to. ]

[Yep, alternate universes. Got to love them.]

Figured I'd ask. See, I have met a Peter Parker. Worked with him, you could say.

Oh ... yeah?

[ Alternate universes aren't yet a thing Peter's got any real experience with.

So.

This is probably gonna be a shocker. ]

I mean, I guess it's kind of a common name.

[ There's a slight tingling in the back of Peter's neck, a real desperate hope that whoever this guy is (and he's beginning to put two and two together, what with the question and the username and the mentioning of his name) he doesn't know who he is.)

But he's never really had much luck. ]

[Tony graces the screen with an exceptionally dry look. You really going to make him spell this out, kid?]

Oh yeah. And he was pretty good at building things too. Younger than you, though.

[ Oh, no.

That look.

He doesn't have to know Tony Stark to know what that look means. ]

Huh. Sounds like a - uh. A cool guy.

[ #sweats ]

But probably pretty different.

[ It takes him a second before he figures out how to privatize his video, and once he's sure it's on lockdown, he leans into the screen and asks: ]

Hey, uh. Sir. This Peter Parker you know ... he didn't have any extra-curricular ... gigs, did he?

Just Tony.

[That right there is a look of a penny dropping. Tony can't help but look slightly amused.]

If you mean a certain penchant for creepy crawlies, then yes.

[Though really, he can't help but feel a little sympathetic. At least this Peter's the only one here, at the moment.]

Relax. I kept his secret and I can keep yours.

[ There's a visible exhale of relief followed by a release of tension in his shoulders.

He nods and keeps nodding before he licks his lips. ]

Okay, okay - yeah. Thanks, Tony. [ Does that mean he's on a first name basis with Tony Stark? Damn. ] Seriously, that would be awesome. No one back home knows who I am - [ well, unless Harry counts, but he's hardly in any position to spill Peter's secrets. ] - and I'd kinda like to keep it that way, in case.

[ But more importantly: ]

So this - this makes the concept of alternate universes real. Like, really real.

No kidding.

[The smile he gives is entirely wry.]

I got here and there were three of me. So believe me, I get it.

[There's a slight pause as more things occur to him.]

So that's another thing. There are, uh, a lot of Avengers here from various universes, and keeping track of what everyone does and doesn't know is a little bit of a nightmare. So some of them might know about you or a you-adjacent and some might not.

Three of you? You serious?

[ What would a world made up of three Tony Starks be like?

Better yet, what would a world with three Peter Parkers be like? Nothing good, that's for sure.

Never mind that small existential crisis, however, because there are clearly bigger problems afoot. Peter swallows, free hand moving to cover his mouth, rub his chin, a subconscious gesture of anxiousness. ]

Oh. Uh. So, like. Should I ... I mean, maybe - would it be better if I went by an alias or something? [ Is this a dumb idea? This is a dumb idea.

Peter exhales. ] I mean, clearly you knew someone exactly like me, masked identity and all, as soon as I told you my name. How do other people do it?

[One eyebrow lifts, if only mostly because Tony is having a hard time parsing through all that. He lets it rolls around in his head for a moment before he lets out a huff of something that's not quite a laugh.]

So look, you can go by an alias if you want to, but look at it this way. Any of the people here who would know? None of them are just gonna out you. So if you want to do the whole secret identity thing, you do you.

Huh.

[ Peter takes a second to think about it. ]

That's - uh. That's good to know. Guess I'll have to give it some thought.

[ You know, in addition to everything else he's got to think about since getting here. ]

Who else is here? Just out of curiousity.

Uh.

[He has to think about that one for a moment, before he starts counting them off on his fingers.]

So there's two of Cap, two of Barnes, two of Strange, two of Loki and two of me. [That last one accompanied by a small ironic bow.] Also Wilson, Romanoff and Thor.

[ Two of ...

That's practically two of everyone. What the hell ... ]

Please tell me you all live in like, one big Big Brother mansion or something.

I'm pretty sure someone would end up dead, so no. I think some of us are still in the communal building, though.

[ Well.

It was a nice, if short-lived dream. ]

Oh, hey. I'm in the communal housing. It's - uh. I haven't actually met anyone on my floor yet, but fingers crossed they're all cool.

[ And also maybepossibly won't notice if a spandex-clad superhero leaps out of the window every now and then. ]

I'm still there too. Technically. Don't spend a whole lot of time there, but hey. Where are you?

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video | un: iron.man

video; un: bill.nye

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