video | un: iron.man

[buildsomething]

[The video opens on a very nice view of a warehouse ceiling, at least until there's a muffled curse offscreen and it tilts to reveal one Tony Stark. He's practically vibrating with the kind of manic energy that means he's been working for possibly too long, all hair standing on end and a few dark smudges on his face, but he looks pleased at least. Just behind him is a glowing blue hologram picking out the lines of something circular, spinning lazily like it was hurriedly abandoned.]

So hey, you all know those power plants out there in yonder abandoned wasteland? Sure you do. I know there's one working, but I've got some ideas for how to give the other ones a good kick. Thing is, I could use an extra hand.

[The metal arm that's been slowly rolling along behind him suddenly straightens and twists in Tony's direction, claw at the front contracting. Without looking back, Tony just snorts.] Not you. [The arm droops, somehow giving the impression of looking disappointed, but continues his trek to wherever he thinks he's going.]

Anyway, yes. Manpower needed. Preferably the kind that knows it's way around a welding iron, but I'll take what I can get. Oh, and a metric shitload of palladium. So if anybody's got a spare catalytic converter or twenty, let me know.

[He reaches for the phone, then pauses, something slightly sardonic flicking across his mouth.]

Or if one of you magic types wants to straw-into-gold me up some, I'll take that too.

Thanks in advance.

[Looking much more satisfied, he reaches the rest of the way to cut the feed.]

Comments

[buildsomething]

Yes, because now it's mine.

[Tony's perfectly willing to play up his own ridiculousness for the sake of amusement. He even curls around the pan a little, just to add to the image.]

All mine.

[wingedman]

If you start hissing 'my precious', I'm gonna drop the lasagna in the first volcano I can find.

[But he's laughing as he says it. Tony, you are a nerd.]

[buildsomething]

It's good, but it's not that good.

[Not that he's tried it yet. But he sets it down on the cleanest stretch of workbench he can find.]

So what exactly are you planning to do while I eat?

[wingedman]

Good, 'cause I don't need you talking about yourself in the third person or developing a split personality.

[Sam just sort of shrugs at the question.] Didn't really think that far ahead. Got any suggestions?

[buildsomething]

[He can't quite fight a grin as he nods towards the couch.]

Make yourself comfortable. Might as well hang out, since you came all the way over here.

[wingedman]

Sure thing.

[Sam flops down on the couch, though he's careful to not damage the incense he still has tucked away.]

I'd make a joke about drawing me like one of your French girls, but I think that's more of a reference for Steve to miss.

[buildsomething]

[Tony just snorts as he pulls a stool over and settles in with his lasagna.]

You haven't inflicted it on him yet? I'm disappointed, Wilson.

[wingedman]

Look, there's a whole lot of pop culture, okay? I can't get to everything.

[Apparently he's missed The Godfather, too.]

[buildsomething]

[He makes a little hmph sound, more occupied by the fact that he's just been reminded that he's actually hungry. Funny how that works. He does at least still have enough self control to be mostly civilized about it.]

Tell you what, JARVIS can take a picture and we can make Steve draw it.

[What? The look on his face will probably be hilarious.]

[wingedman]

So would that be clothes on or clothes off?

[...hey, he's just curious.]

We have to make him watch Titanic first so he actually gets it.

[buildsomething]

[Tony makes a show of considering that for a moment before nodding.]

Fair. The nudity level is up to you, but I regret to inform you that I don't have any diamonds handy.

[wingedman]

Well, I don't really have the rack to display them, either.

[Not that his chest isn't impressive, but in a totally different way.]

Hold on-

[Sam sheds his coat, draping it over the back of the couch, then arranges himself a la Kate Winslet. He gives JARVIS enough time to snap a couple shots clothed, then divests himself of his shirt and pants and poses again - to spare Steve's delicate sensibilities, he leaves his boxers on.]

You want any nudes for your private collection?

[And he accompanies that with an exaggerated eyebrow waggle.]

[buildsomething]

[One moment he's looking away, the next Sam is nearly naked in his workshop. Now there's something he definitely doesn't mind.

Even if he does pull an exaggerated look of surprise.]

Why Samuel, you'll shock the children.

[He gestures over towards Dum-E, who is pretty intently not paying attention, and probably wouldn't care even if he was. The bot's probably seen worse, to be honest.]

I'll have you know this is a workplace.

[wingedman]

[Sam just gives him a very, very unconvinced look.

And then he rolls over onto his stomach and pulls his boxers down, displaying his ass.]

If these end up on the network, I'm leaving you to starve the next time you're on a work binge.

[buildsomething]

[It startles a laugh out of him -- he's used to being the ridiculous one, what can he say -- and Tony just leans an elbow on the worktable beside him and rests his head on his upturned fist.]

See, now that's just an invitation.

[wingedman]

My ass? You're damn right it is.

[Sam turns his head to look over his shoulder and waggle his eyebrows at Tony again.]

You want dinner and a show?

[buildsomething]

Exactly what kind of show are we talking here?

[He might be forgetting about the food at the moment. Who can blame him?]

[wingedman]

The kinda show Dum-E and the mice aren't allowed to watch.

[Spoiler: it involves Sam touching himself.]

[buildsomething]

Well then you probably shouldn't be doing it here, huh?

[Not that Tony's going to stop him. He's not stupid.]

[wingedman]

I might only do it if you keep eating your damn food.

[Sam laughs and rolls over onto his back, tugging his boxers the rest of the way off.

Later on, they're squeezed together on the couch, boneless and relaxed, and seriously, Tony, you need to get an actual apartment or something.]

So I brought some more of the incense along. [It's a little hesitant. Obviously since he's mentioning it now, it's not the same kind they used previously.] I figure you got one of those brains that doesn't like to shut up enough for you to sleep, and you just roll with it because you don't like to sleep, but-

[Yeah, it's the sleepytime incense.]

[buildsomething]

[It's probably the best time to bring it up, Tony looks far too relaxed to get worked up about the whole thing. He does shift enough to crack and eye open and glance over in Sam's direction.]

You're putting me to bed, now?

[He just sounds amused. It's not like Sam's wrong, after all.]

[wingedman]

Maybe a little bit.

[A rueful grin, and he stretches out to reach for his jacket, where he's got the incense and a lighter.]

Both of us, even.

[Meaning that he has every intention of staying there with Tony through the whole thing.]

[buildsomething]

[He just watches Sam move, appreciating the view. He's also very much not stopping him in trying to fetch it.]

Couch is gonna get kinda cramped for the two of us.

[wingedman]

You got any better suggestions?

[He's all ears, Tony.]

[buildsomething]

[Okay, so he doesn't actually have an answer to that. He hunkers down a little in the cushions to keep from admitting it.]

Thinking about putting in an apartment upstairs.