video posted by @ruffboi

[ohhmrburnsides]

[ The video shows a largeish well-lit room, the back wall made up entirely of mirrors, with three narrow poles set up in the middle of the room. It begins shakily, in medias res, a minute or so into Nicki Minaj's inimitable Anaconda. On the poles are none other than Taako, Lup, and Cisco, each performing some variation of pole dancing. It is clear that they have been practicing for a little while... but not all that long. They are clumsy, to varying degrees. Each of them is wearing some kind of festive and 80's outfit, extremely neon and extremely tacky. They don't seem particularly aware of being filmed, concentrating instead on their dances, singing along in some parts, and doing quite a great deal more hair flipping than is strictly necessary. There's an occasional glance of Magnus himself in the mirror, recording all of it on his phone. They are doing their best, but there are moments of clumsiness and laughter. At the end of the song, Lup does a dead drop that is taking the word 'dead' way more seriously than anyone ever intended. Her body drops to the floor with a loud THUD and her lich form raises out of it, concluding the whole video with a spectacular dab that sends Magnus into loud, booming fits of laughter as the camera jostles and the video cuts out.

There's some text attached: ]

oh my god lucretia PLEASE watch this

[ ... This clearly wasn't meant for the network. Whoops. ]

Comments

2/2

[talentedscavenger]

How about you and I go get something to eat and ignore the rest of the network.

I'm sure it'll blow over.

And more than anything Taako is more captivating to watch. [Not really, but she's saying it to make him feel better.]

[spellslots]

Congratulations, you've reached the prestigious accomplishment of becoming my new favorite person 😄😄😄

[talentedscavenger]

I don't know what I did to earn such a wonderful thing.

[spellslots]

The word 'captivating' won you a lot of points

[talentedscavenger]

Ah. In that case, do I need to maintain a certain number of 'points' to stay as your favorite person?

[spellslots]

Of course, it's a complicated point system and you'll be graded against the curve

[talentedscavenger]

You certainly know how to make a girl feel special.

[spellslots]

It's a talent wasted on me, sadly

[talentedscavenger]

I wouldn't say wasted...

I was would say...appreciated.

[spellslots]

[She's so pure.]

Well, it is nice to be appreciated

[talentedscavenger]

[It's a talent, really it is.]

And you are! I mean...you were very captivating to watch.

I don't know what an Anaconda is, but, you did great in the video.

[spellslots]

Thanks, pumpkin, that's real sweet of you

[STOP HE'S GENUINELY TOUCHED]

I could let you live in blissful ignorance but I feel like that'd be kind of a jerk move so anaconda in this circumstance is a reference to dick

It's also a kind of snake

1/??

[talentedscavenger]

You're welcome

[.....okay wat]

...

2/??

[talentedscavenger]

A snake...

[franciscoramon]

how about you come here and i make something to eat since i'm never leaving the apartment ever again

[ But it is a little comforting to think that Taako is indeed flashy enough that people probably didn't notice him quite so much. ]

[talentedscavenger]

[Oh gosh...Cisco....She'll drag you out of the apartment, sooner or later.]

Fine. I'll come to you. What do you want me to pick up--and yes, I'm picking up something so you won't have to cook. No if's or but's about it.

Doing this for your own god.

[franciscoramon]

you know you don't actually have to do that right?
like i'm making a big fuss but it's just kind of embarrassing i'm not actually gonna go hermit

[ Rey is too precious for this world and Cisco doesn't know how to deal with it sometimes. ]

if you really want to though i wouldn't mind some pizza
🍕

[talentedscavenger]

I know, but I want to.

And you say that now, but I heard of someone going 'hermit' and I'm not about to let that happen to you.

So pizza...okay.

What...kind of pizza should I get?

[This is assuming she knows what she's talking about.

AND NO GOING SKYWALKER HERMIT!]

[franciscoramon]

well you know i never say no to some quality rey time
any kind
just no anchovies

and don't worry i'm way too extroverted to actually go hermit
i mean can you imagine me
not talking to people
for like a whole day?

[talentedscavenger]

Well, I didn't know, but now I do. :)

[She has no clue what anchovies are, but she will figure it out! Operation cheer Cisco up is a go.]

I can't imagine it, but it could still happen.

The person I was looking for became a hermit, and no one ever thought he'd disappear. Don't want that to be the case for you--and for Eddie.

[franciscoramon]

[ Oh no, Rey! You're breaking his heart! ]

i was only joking, promise

i'm not gonna disappear if i have anything to say about it
and neither is eddie
okay?

[talentedscavenger]

[It's not her intention!! Really, it's not!]

Okay.

Uh, do you also want red pepper flakes and Parmesan?

[Already picking up a pizza, Jakku's delivery girl at your service![

[franciscoramon]

yes and yes
🌶🧀
way to save the day by the way
you're a good friend

[ He genuinely means that. He's not gonna run off to a distant planet, but he could use a bit of a break from feeling utterly mortified... ]

[talentedscavenger]

Thanks, I try to be. You're a great friend, so...I should be there in like...ten minutes?

Think you can hold out for that long?

[franciscoramon]

yes, i think i can manage it
thank you
i'll see you then