video posted by @ruffboi

[ohhmrburnsides]

[ The video shows a largeish well-lit room, the back wall made up entirely of mirrors, with three narrow poles set up in the middle of the room. It begins shakily, in medias res, a minute or so into Nicki Minaj's inimitable Anaconda. On the poles are none other than Taako, Lup, and Cisco, each performing some variation of pole dancing. It is clear that they have been practicing for a little while... but not all that long. They are clumsy, to varying degrees. Each of them is wearing some kind of festive and 80's outfit, extremely neon and extremely tacky. They don't seem particularly aware of being filmed, concentrating instead on their dances, singing along in some parts, and doing quite a great deal more hair flipping than is strictly necessary. There's an occasional glance of Magnus himself in the mirror, recording all of it on his phone. They are doing their best, but there are moments of clumsiness and laughter. At the end of the song, Lup does a dead drop that is taking the word 'dead' way more seriously than anyone ever intended. Her body drops to the floor with a loud THUD and her lich form raises out of it, concluding the whole video with a spectacular dab that sends Magnus into loud, booming fits of laughter as the camera jostles and the video cuts out.

There's some text attached: ]

oh my god lucretia PLEASE watch this

[ ... This clearly wasn't meant for the network. Whoops. ]

Comments

[likeacoupon]

I've notice.
So when did you decide to grow up and be strippers?

[ohhmrburnsides]

Idk where this is going but what we're not about to do is say anything bad about strippers. It's a respectable profession and I could only hope to get on their level of grace and acrobatics one day.

If you're asking what made us decide to go out and do this, uh. Boredom, mostly? And because it's the only way I could convince my friends to get exercise.

[likeacoupon]

I never said anything bad about them. I was just curious because I could totally sell this video for some cash.

[It's very easy to record on these things.]

I don't like exercise.

[ohhmrburnsides]

Wait wh
Sell our video??
How could you sell our video?????????

[likeacoupon]

You were nice enough to broadcast it.
That's all I needed.

[ohhmrburnsides]

If anyone in Riverview wants to see some beginners trying and failing to pole dance they could, like, go sign up for lessons at the gym. And also... it's up for free for the whole network now. Nobody's gonna want to buy it.

Unless you're thinking of like. Bringing it out of the portal with you? In which case... Is that even a thing that's possible??

[likeacoupon]

True but I bet locals might buy it too. Who knows?
No harm in trying.

[Unless those in the video have a problem with it though Willa seems less concerned about that.]

[ohhmrburnsides]

I feel like I should tell you yes harm, it's our video!!!

But, also... I wanna see how badly you crash and burn when you can't find more than one fool who wants to buy this thing.

[likeacoupon]

Rude.

[Besides the fact that one person is something.]

@fromTV; just casually jumping in here

[spellslots]

First of all if you're selling any videos of me I want a cut
Secondly if you're selling videos of me there's way better shit than this

@fromTV; <3

[likeacoupon]

Oh.
So if I network you'll give me more material?

What kind of cut do you want?

[spellslots]

I should probably check with my boyfriend 🤔 IDK if he'll be into videos of me pole dancing floating around the internet

[likeacoupon]

You'll have clothes on.
Besides, he'll get to show you off.

[spellslots]

He already gets to do that, I make excellent arm candy

[likeacoupon]

Then he should be fine with it.
Either way, I can wait for you to talk to him. Just hit me up whenever.

[spellslots]

Don't hold your breath, pumpkin
I had an agent once and it didn't work out so great, I'm not making that mistake twice

[also he's just not being in serious in general, but you know, also the agent thing]

[likeacoupon]

Pumpkin?
And for the record, I am definitely not an agent.

[spellslots]

It's a type of vegetable
I mean, that was the nicest way of framing it when you're a total stranger

[likeacoupon]

Yeah, I got that.

Right now everyone is a bit of a stranger to me. :) Hi, I'm Willa.

[imperceptus]

I would not be into that, no

[ In case anyone was wondering. ]

[spellslots]

I had a sneaking suspicion

Don't worry, darling, if I get famous again it's not gonna be for my wicked awesome dancing

[imperceptus]

Far be it from me to dictate what you do

But you mentioned my opinion

And there it is

[spellslots]

It's about what I expected

Any future videos will be for private use only, like this one was supposed to be until we made the mistake of trusting Magnus with technology

[imperceptus]

Well

Everyone seems to approve, at least

[spellslots]

There's a few naysayers

[Who are, frankly, rude.]