video @lightemup

[umbrastaff]

[The camera turns on, and shows these babies -


- before moving to show Lup's face.

She has a bit of flour on her nose.]

I call them 'Lupcakes'. This is prime Flour Up Desserts advertising, obviously.

[She grins and settles the phone at a good angle.]

Frosting's got some spice in it, like those red candies. I'm offering some taste-testing free of charge if you tell me a good story.

...or for any tips on really good napping spots. We elves might not need to sleep like you poor chums, but chagirl's got priorities next month and like half of it is gonna be naps.

[She's so into getting a real body, okay? This vessel was great but undeath is shit for snoozing.]

Comments

[bluechampion]

[Challenge accepted.]

I might have a couple you'd like to hear then. I hope they're good enough for one of those Lupcakes.

[umbrastaff]

Oh, you know just how to speak my language! Go forth and try you luck, I'll keep one ready for you.

[bluechampion]

Well, there's this Rito minstrel that wanders around Hyrule that's always singing about tales of the ancient hero.

So ten thousand years ago, this great evil darkness rises and threatens the world. But then the Sheikah build these giant weapons to combat it called Divine Breasts, and they're piloted by the best warriors Hyrule has.

And there are also the guardians that the Sheikah built, and they're like robot soldiers, so these things are helping the ancient hero to fight Ganon. (He's the dark evil thing I mentioned.) And the hero is working with the princess who has the blood of a goddess, and once they defeat him, he's sealed away and the world is saved!

...

Kass is a lot better at telling it. He's got an accordion and sings the whole epic.

[umbrastaff]

Divine Breasts? I need me some of those!

[She laughs, but Lup is intrigued by the story and listens attentively.]

That's some tale, right there. So what are the Sheikah... and rito?

[bluechampion]

The Sheikah are a tribe of people who served the royal family of Hyrule. They look a lot like Hylians, except they tend to have white hair. The Rito are bird people, good at archery and singing.

[umbrastaff]

Sooo what's a Hylian, then?

[bluechampion]

[Oh yeah, Hylians weren't exactly everywhere in Riverview like they were in Hyrule.]

Oh, I'm a Hylian. I guess I forgot I'm probably the only one here.

[umbrastaff]

So Hylians are like elves?

[She points at her own ears.]

[bluechampion]

[Oh, so that's what an elf is. He doesn't feel so bad about being mistaken for one.]

I don't know. Maybe? I can't think of any differences just by looking at you.

[umbrastaff]

Well, I got pointy ears and I'm like.... 200-something-years old. That's the elf deal.

[The super condensed version.]

Either way, good story. Worth a Lupcake.

[bluechampion]

Oh. Hylians don't live that long. Well, normally we don't.

[Technically he was 117, but..details.

A large grin spread over his face.]

Great! Where can I try it?

[umbrastaff]

Well, you can join the honorary elf club. We do meetings on tuesdays.

[No they don't.]

Just lemme know where you are, I'm trying out a new delivery system.

[bluechampion]

Uh, ok...

[Weird. But not the weirdest thing.]

Oh. Well, I'm just at a coffee shop near the commons. [He had been introduced to one on his last visit and he had to admit that they were wonderful things.]

[umbrastaff]

[She makes some mental calculations. Ready for the weirdest thing?]

Alright, I think I know that one. Stay put.

[...five minutes later, an invisible something leaves a Lupcake in front of Link.]

[bluechampion]

[Link had set his Sheikah Slate down and sipped his latte while patiently waiting for the desired lupcake. He was not expecting that kind of delivery. He picked his devise up again.]

Did you do that? Is that an elf thing?

[umbrastaff]

Nah, dude! That's a wizard thing!

[Lup grins and gives him a little wink.]

Try it!

[bluechampion]

[Link obliges by stuffing the entire thing in his mouth. While chewing he looked thoughtful, nodding in approval at the balanced flavors.]

It's pretty good! [He licked his fingers.] I'll have to come back for more. [A lot more. If he can afford a whole batch, he's getting it.]