@wikus.vandermerwe: Video (Warning: Some Body Horror)

[onthehalfshell]

[The video starts with the view blocked by a hand. The view shakes a little.]

Is this started- right. Okay.

[The hand draws back, revealing a rather mousy brunet man. He's smiling, but his lips keep twitching as if they might collapse into a frown at any moment. His gaze keeps flicking away from the camera, as if he's having trouble keeping even virtual eye-contact. The nervousness might have something to do with the fact that his left eye and hand are distinctly not human, and there are several inflamed patches on his left cheek where something dark and chitinous pokes through the skin.

He tries to fold his hands, twitches slightly when the human right touches the inhuman left, and settles for strumming his fingers on the table instead.]

Since we're all going to be living and working together in this city for the next couple years, I thought it would be good introduce myself. Less of a, uh, surprise that that way.

I am Wikus van de Merwe, and I am- was- an employee of…

[Trailing off, he seems to think better of that particular fact.]

I'm from Johannesburg. That's in South Africa, for those of you, ah, familiar with Earth and it's countries. I grew up there, and it's where I live with my beautiful wife, Tania, who I know is- she's waiting for me to come home, and-

[Another pause, this one accompanied by placing a hand on his forehead and inhaling deeply through his nose. It takes a few moments before he's ready to speak again.]

Anyway, if you're worried about this- [He lifts his alien hand, clenching and unclenching tentacle-like fingers.] You don't need to worry about this. I'm not- it's not contagious or anything. I just had a little accident and- Ow!

[He claps his hand to his mouth, coughs, then promptly spits something out. It's hard to tell given the camera's focus, but it looks like it might be a tooth.]

Fok-! [The alien hand reaches out and the video ends.]

Comments

[ragnarsson]

[He has to replay the message on the text-to-speech function again to make sure he heard the word right.]

What's an alien?

[onthehalfshell]

What? How are you on an alien moon and haven't heard of aliens? They're you know creatures. Or people. From a different planet.

[ragnarsson]

I'd never heard the word before! We have no need of it where I'm from. We haven't finished exploring the known world, let alone started thinking of other planets.

text

[onthehalfshell]

What seriously? Where you from?

[Wikus grew up with aliens as a fact of life, but sci fi had been in full swing for ages before the Prawns arrived.]

[ragnarsson]

Yes, seriously.

[He rolls his eyes as he imitates Wikus' tone.]

Kattegat in Norway, from 816.

Voice

[onthehalfshell]

[Wikus is feeling too self-conscious about his newest tooth-gap to turn on video, but he's startled enough to go to voice rather than keep texting.]

No fokken way, like, you mean 816 AD?

[ragnarsson]

No, 816 GE. [Ask a stupid question and all that...] Yes, 816 AD.

[onthehalfshell]

Hey, man, we're in another fokken universe on a, on an alien moon! People could be using all kinds of calendars.

Shit. 816, man, that's... That should sound completely fokken insane, but... [A pause.]

So, ancient Norway, that's like vikings, right?

[ragnarsson]

Exactly like Vikings. My father was Ragnar Lothbrok, the most famous Viking in the world.

[He does love to brag about his father, but only because he loved the man enough to seek revenge on an entire country when he died.]

[onthehalfshell]

A real live viking! That's crazy, man.

[This is actually weirder to him than most of the other strange stuff he's encountered in Riverview.]

You guys, you raided my ancestors.

[He doesn't sound at all upset about that. In fact, he sounds a bit giddy about the whole thing.]

[ragnarsson]

I don't doubt that. We've raided a lot of people.

[There's a note of pride in his voice. Vikings had become infamous throughout the known world for their ferocity as they brutally steamrolled whoever came within their grasp.]

[onthehalfshell]

They were Dutch. My ancestors, I mean. Do you know about the Netherlands? Or... Fok, I don't know what it was called back then...

[He's much better versed in South African history than Dutch history.]

A real fokken viking... [His fit of boyish glee is starting to settle down, but it's like meeting a real knight or cowboy or something. His roommate McCree doesn't count.]

[ragnarsson]

I've never heard of it. They must call it something different during my time. If you pointed it out on a map, I might know.

[They called it Frisia during the period of time Ivar is from, and indeed, his people had raided it many times. He practically preens a little under the attention from Wilkus. Ivar may put on a tough front, but he's got a lot of hidden insecurities. To have someone actually appreciate what he is.]

You should see me in battle. That's where I do my best work.

[He takes the throwing ax off his back and holds it up to the video screen. It looks like a formidable weapon.]

[onthehalfshell]

Holy shit, look at that!

[Wikus has seen - and handled - some serious weaponry. An axe doesn't really compare to Prawn weaponry, but it's also a real viking axe held by a real viking.

A bit of reality leaks through.]

Hey, man, I hope you're not planning to, you know, raid anyone here. Modern society tends to frown on that sort of thing.

[ragnarsson]

[Ivar flips the ax, catching it in midair with one hand. He's spent his whole life handling the weapon, so he is very good with it.]

Of course not.

[Those words aren't very reassuring as he adds on.]

I'd need a group of at least ten for a proper raid.

[onthehalfshell]

[Wikus silently flips his shit at that casual axe flip. What the hell, that's so cool! He's kind of jealous. This kid could definitely kick his ass. He'd been a complete wimp at that age.]

Yeah? I wouldn't bother raiding me if you get them. I haven't got anything worth much.

[But seriously, he hopes Ivar doesn't raid anyone. It's all well and good in fiction and history, but in reality it would be awful.]

[ragnarsson]

[Ivar learned to be tough early on. He was forced to, being unable to walk in a society that favored physical strength over everything else. At sixteen, he's pretty much a badass.]

Don't worry. Vikings tend to stick to churches, castles, you know, places where people store their wealth.

[Now it's his turn to ask questions. His curiosity is definitely peaked with the way Wikus looks.]

So if you're turning into an alien, what are you going to end up looking like?

[onthehalfshell]

Not sure you'd find many of those around here. [Do the people here have churches? He hasn't checked.]

Uh, if it keeps going... If they don't stop it... Then kind of like a big... Bug. Sort of human shaped, still, they've got arms and legs like us, but with a shell and antenna and, um, this weird... This kind of mouth tentacles...

[Just thinking about it is making him queasy. He doesn't want to look like a Prawn!]

[ragnarsson]

That sounds horrible.

[Ivar doesn't have a lot of sympathy for people and their various plights. It's just not in his makeup. But just objectively speaking, turning into a giant bug creature sounds like it would be a horrific experience.]

Does it hurt? Turning into something like that?

[onthehalfshell]

Yeah. [It is legitimately the worst thing that's ever happened to him, and for more than just the physical aspect.]

Sometimes it does. Sometimes it doesn't really. I think that might be worse.

[Losing chunks of flesh seems like it should be agonizing, not equivalent to a peeling sunburn. Having his humanity flake away so easily is terrifying.]

[ragnarsson]

You know, where I'm from, if a man gets changed into another form, it's usually because he's being gifted or punished by the gods.

[Having seen Wikus' form at the start of the video, he can guess it's the latter for this poor man.]

[onthehalfshell]

Hey, I'm not being fokken punished! Shit just happens sometimes.

[If he sounds defensive it's because he's considered the possibility of divine punishment before, but isn't ready to embrace guilt over things he's done.]

[ragnarsson]

Nothing happens without reason. Fate plays a part in everything.

[Vikings are big believers in predestination. It was why Ivar believed his legs didn't work because of a prophecy his mother had made before his birth.]

[onthehalfshell]

If that's the case then fate is a real fokken asshole, man.

[Not that he believes in any of that. He's just saying he knows some guys that deserve comeuppance way more than he does and only one of them got torn apart by angry aliens.]