@wikus.vandermerwe: Video (Warning: Some Body Horror)

[onthehalfshell]

[The video starts with the view blocked by a hand. The view shakes a little.]

Is this started- right. Okay.

[The hand draws back, revealing a rather mousy brunet man. He's smiling, but his lips keep twitching as if they might collapse into a frown at any moment. His gaze keeps flicking away from the camera, as if he's having trouble keeping even virtual eye-contact. The nervousness might have something to do with the fact that his left eye and hand are distinctly not human, and there are several inflamed patches on his left cheek where something dark and chitinous pokes through the skin.

He tries to fold his hands, twitches slightly when the human right touches the inhuman left, and settles for strumming his fingers on the table instead.]

Since we're all going to be living and working together in this city for the next couple years, I thought it would be good introduce myself. Less of a, uh, surprise that that way.

I am Wikus van de Merwe, and I am- was- an employee of…

[Trailing off, he seems to think better of that particular fact.]

I'm from Johannesburg. That's in South Africa, for those of you, ah, familiar with Earth and it's countries. I grew up there, and it's where I live with my beautiful wife, Tania, who I know is- she's waiting for me to come home, and-

[Another pause, this one accompanied by placing a hand on his forehead and inhaling deeply through his nose. It takes a few moments before he's ready to speak again.]

Anyway, if you're worried about this- [He lifts his alien hand, clenching and unclenching tentacle-like fingers.] You don't need to worry about this. I'm not- it's not contagious or anything. I just had a little accident and- Ow!

[He claps his hand to his mouth, coughs, then promptly spits something out. It's hard to tell given the camera's focus, but it looks like it might be a tooth.]

Fok-! [The alien hand reaches out and the video ends.]

Comments

[onthehalfshell]

[Cue radio silence because Wikus needs some time to cry about Tania.]

[toolatetochangethename]

[Hey, hey, Scott's an idiot, not a monster! He didn't mean it like that.

Okay, he meant it like that, but not that way. At least that's what he's thinking at that Awkward Silence that's attacking his phone.]

Hey, just sayin', you know, there's gotta be a bright side?

[onthehalfshell]

No there doesn't.

[toolatetochangethename]

Sure, there does.

[Crap. Scott's no good at being a pep talking type of guy. ]

Do you get to do anything cool with it or anything? Fly? Impervious to bullets? Invisibility? [How thieves define 'cool'?]

[onthehalfshell]

I can use alien weapons and that almost got me dissected and eaten, separate incidents, so not a big plus for me there.

[toolatetochangethename]

Yeah, no. Guess no---

[Wait a minute.]

Eaten? Did you say 'eaten'? What the fuck is WRONG with people?!

Voice

[onthehalfshell]

[The power of wanting to rant has unlocked Wikus's voice.]

I don't fokken know, man! He wanted to- to gain my bloody power by eating me or some shit, that would never fokken work!

And my father-in-law, my wife's fokken dad, he just gave permission to dissect me! Like I was a fokken frog! Who does that?! Bliksem!

[He breathes heavily into the phone for a moment, then adds a finale note:]

Fok!

Re: Voice

[toolatetochangethename]

[Chalk that up to one of Scott's special powers: he can bring out the rage in everyone. Just ask Cassie's (jerk) stepfather.]

Yeah, this is probably going to sound all culturally insensitive, but...that's beyond fucked up.

Geez, I thought my exwife's new boyfriend was an asshole. [Pause. Nope, he's still an asshole. Just slightly less evil about it?]

Hey. Hey, seriously. I mean, maybe you can find a way to stop it here, right?

[onthehalfshell]

The only culture my dad-in-law had was corporate. [Technically Wikus was also part of corporate culture, but if he'd had the cut-throat attitude of a true businessman then Piet Smit might have actually liked him.

He lets out a sigh, calmer after his little rant.] They're working on fixing it. I thought maybe they'd got it to stop, but I guess it just slowed down.

[A pause, then.]

Sorry about your divorce, man.

[toolatetochangethename]

[Shudder. Yeah, not a fan of corporations.] Sounds like a guy I know. {Darren Cross, he is hating you from afar. Still. ]


[Yeah. The divorce.] Can't blame her for not sticking it out. I mean. I was in prison.

[onthehalfshell]

Prison? [The surprise in his voice is clear. Did not expect the man on the other side be a criminal.]

Still rough. How long were you in for?

[How long did his ex stick it out for, just asking for a friend...]

[toolatetochangethename]

[Yeah, it wasn't in Scott's game plan when he was in college, either.]

Three years.

[He missed three years of Cassie's life. ]

Mostly worth it.

[onthehalfshell]

Three-

Three years.

[That is a horrible, horrible coincidence. Three years is how long Christopher said it would take for him to come back, to return with the possibility of fixing Wikus.]

Is three year really too long? To ask for a woman to wait for you?

[toolatetochangethename]

[Ouch--that's a punch right in the insecurities.]

She probably feels I picked something else over her. And our kid. [He doesn't really blame her. ]

[onthehalfshell]

I didn't pick anything. [He mumbles it more to himself than to Scott. Maybe that would make the difference between Tania waiting or not? Does he even deserve for her to wait...] Fok, I got to get fixed before I leave here...

[A pause.] You got a kid, man?

[toolatetochangethename]

Man, that sucks. [Scott doesn't think anyone would sign up for tentacle hand and being eaten and all that 'never visiting South Africa' stuff.]

Yeah, Got a daughter. [And he will punch anyone who tries to mess with Cassie.]

[onthehalfshell]

That's great, man. How old is she?

[How much rougher would things be for him if he had a wife and a kid he was forced to abandon.]

[toolatetochangethename]

She's eight. Ish.

[Wait, what month is it?] I missed her first years of school.

[Wow, he's bringing himself down!] BUT, hey, I gave her the best present ever. What other little girl has an enormous pet ant?

[onthehalfshell]

[Wikus is ready to give Scott sympathy for missing parts of his daughter's life, maybe talk about his own interest in having a kid, but then the guy goes and says something completely ridiculous.]

I'm sorry, what?

[toolatetochangethename]

[Scott probably wouldn't know what to do with sympathy, but hey he's willing to find out. ]

Yeah, kind of an accident. Pet ant, about, you know, dog sized.

She loves the little guy.

[onthehalfshell]

How- that sounds like 'kind of' an accident in the same way I 'kind of' had an accident!

[toolatetochangethename]

No way, man. Totally different accidents. The ant was always an ant. Just, you know, ant sized.

And now it's not. Nobody's losing like, you know, teeth and shit.

[Nothing personal, but ew.]

[onthehalfshell]

[Wow, rude.]

Ants aren't supposed to be that big, man!

[toolatetochangethename]

Yeah, well, Cassie makes it work.

[Shush you his daughter can do no wrong. And the feeling's pretty mutual.]

[onthehalfshell]

[Wikus is unconvinced that this is a good idea.]

I guess as long as it doesn't try to eat her...