7 [@dodger//video//forward-dated to 1/16]

[smokedout]

[This is another one of those posts where Dodger starts off playing music without explaining anything. The song he plays in particular is a slow tune, earnest and emotional. His voice is gruff from lack of use, or perhaps his perpetual hangover, but he's still a talented musician at the end of the day. The guitar he's playing has stickers on it that some may recognize as fan merchandise for Eichi Tenshouin, and a malinois with a black and purple collar is sleeping with its head on his knee during the song.

When the song ends, he sits there quietly for a while before reaching to light a cigarette. He snaps his fingers to light them, and uses that in place of a lighter. Another pause, before he finally speaks.]

I'm 26 today. And sure, I was gonna make this the unholy mess you were all hoping for, but fuck it, y'know? What's the point of acting like I'm better than anyone else if I don't even believe it...

I'm not planning any sorta celebration. Won't say no to presents. Guessing no one cares enough, though, right? Whatever. No one's looking at this.

[Welcome to the pity party, population: Dodger.]

Comments

(Video @blinded.by.light)

[soulsflight]

You sound pretty pathetic. (Come on, man. Birthdays are supposed to be fun.) It's not about being better than anyone else, you know? We all have birthdays.

[smokedout]

Hey... new person.

[He huffs softly.]

The plan was to- do my usual bullshit pretending I'm king of the world. Instead I'm opening up and being sensitive. Turns out I fucking suck at it and no one gives a shit.

[And here he makes a very sarcastic party-type motion with his hand.]

Let's just say it's hard to get excited when no one wanted you to live this long in the first place.

[soulsflight]

Lightning.

(That's one hell of an introduction, Light.)

You sound less sensitive and more...as I said...pathetic. When you say "no one wanted you to live this long" that's incorrect. I can't say I felt one way or another about it.

(She is great at pep talks.)

[smokedout]

Gee, that makes it all better.

[His eyes narrow moodily. Yeah, Dodger's great at this whole 'trying to be a good person' thing.]

....Jesus, how do people put up with this bullshit? [A slight pause.] No, that's- it's a serious question, how the fuck do people handle being nice? It drives me fucking insane just trying.

[soulsflight]

Why are you trying? (It's an honest question.) It's...new...for me too.

(She falters and looks away.) Just take it...one conversation at a time. Try to think about how the other person feels. I know being defensive is more comfortable, but it hurts others.

[smokedout]

[He hesitates before taking a deep breath, and trying to keep his resolution to not be a dick.]

My mom died at 25. I figured the way my life was headed, I'd do that too. But I- lived this long, and I figure if I'm gonna outlive her, and the men that turned me into this- absolute fucking asshole that I am- aren't around to keep shoving me down, I should try... being the kinda person she woulda wanted me to be. Y'know, helpful and... friendly, and shit.

And it wouldn't hurt if I had some friends for once, I guess. Someone to give a shit when I do die.

[soulsflight]

(Wow. That hits home. Hard.)

I lost my parents when I was a teenager. I had a little sister to look after and so I joined the Guardian Corps. I locked myself away. I didn't let myself feel anything but anger and I took it out on her.

My parents wouldn't have been very proud of me. But I think I've learned better.

(After five hundred years.)

We don't know each other... Still, I don't think we're unalike. (BFFs?)

[smokedout]

Oh... shit.

[Yeah, he can relate to all of this. He had taken a lot of his anger out on his girlfriend, and on his little brother... he just hadn't allowed himself to really be a good person, since he'd watched his mother starve to death protecting him.]

Gotta say, you're a lot more... eloquent, about it. ['Helpful and friendly and shit', another great Dodger quote for the books.] You had a lot of time to think about this, huh.

[soulsflight]

...yeah. A lot of time. (She smiles to herself.) I've seen one world end and another begin. It took me a long time to understand my mistakes. Since I was given a fresh start, I could finally be...myself. The person I was always meant to be.

[smokedout]

[He nods silently. He'd never gotten an official fresh start, but so many people have told him to stop acting like his past matters here... he's trying his best to take their advice.]

My name's Dodger. [They had never established that, had they.] Or, it's not, but folks call me that. Suits me better than my real name. 'Lightning's the same deal, yeah?

Someone that was real important to me gave me this guitar, right before he left the Quarantine... I've been thinking I should do something useful with it. Might try being a musician. [He lets out a huff of laughter.] Just about the only job where being hated makes you more popular, right?

[soulsflight]

Nice to meet you, Dodger. (Lightning is used more for her comfort. She shifts and shrugs a shoulder.) Lightning is a nickname. My real name is Claire Farron.

(But since she has to fight again and since hearing her actual name makes her feel uncomfortably shy, Lightning works better.)

That wouldn't be a waste of your time. (She looks puzzled.) Why are you so hated anyway? There are plenty of assholes and I'm sure someone loves them.

[smokedout]

[He shrugs awkwardly. There are a lot of defensive answers that come to mind, but after some effort he manages a semi-truthful one.]

People don't like my attitude. There's a lot of... heroic-types around here, more than there were in my home world. Our personalities clash.

[That's a nice way of saying people don't like your pick-up artistry and anti-equality hatespeech, Dodger.]

[soulsflight]

Heroic-types, huh. I've had plenty of experience with them. (She might be one herself.) Are they all talk or can they actually follow through?

[smokedout]

Depends on the person, I guess. [He shrugs.] I've gotten my ass handed to me a couple times pissing off the wrong people, so I guess I can't say they're not a threat.

[soulsflight]

That's a nice change. (It will make challenging them worthwhile.) I don't like feeling like a bully. If they can hand my ass to me, I will be impressed.

[smokedout]

[He raises a brow.]

What, planning to get yourself into trouble?

[Because he kind of still wants in, whatever he said about trying to get better.]

[soulsflight]

I need to spar or I will get rusty. (And she isn't exactly an easy opponent.) I'm not a savior anymore, so I need to make this body stronger as a human.

[smokedout]

[There's a pause here, while he decides whether this is a good idea... before he just thinks 'fuck it' and goes ahead anyway.]

If you need a sparring partner, I could always take you on. I'm a little more than human, though. And I don't tend to play nice.

[soulsflight]

I'd rather you not play nice. (She would be angry if he treated her with kid gloves.) What's your weapon of choice?

[smokedout]

Fists.

[He snaps his fingers, and his entire hand lights on fire, before he shakes it out again.]

Not too bad with guns, either. You?

[soulsflight]

Alright. (So dodging would have to be a thing.) I don't mind using fists and I'm military trained in firearms.

[smokedout]

Military - impressive. [He actually does look genuinely impressed. The government's never had much respect from Dodger, but the military has always seemed interesting. Even if he knows precious little about how they work.] No formal training on my end, but hell... that tends to keep people on their toes.

There's a training center over near the barracks, if memory serves - gimme a call if you're itching for a fight, I'm always up for one.

[She seems to have cheered him up - if nothing else, the chance to use his unquenchable thirst for blood for good is pretty good to look forward to.]