riverview | Video; the.boneless. Guess who's back?

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Video; the.boneless. Guess who's back?

[So it looks like a familiar face has returned after a couple of weeks away. He's only been gone a short time, but it's clear more time has passed for Ivar. He's aged about a year, maybe two, and his hair is different. But there's some things that never change. His eyes are still angry and sharp, missing nothing around him, and he has a look on his face like he's contemplating murdering everyone in Riverview. It's quite possible he's gotten crazier and more unstable. in his time away.]

I always knew I'd make it back here. Something about it made it inevitable. You all really should just learn I'm always right and not question my judgment.

[Oh yes, his arrogance has only gotten greater. That's what happens when you win almost every battle as the teenage leader of an army. Also, it appears the video is being filmed from an unusual angle for him, almost like he's standing up rather than sitting down.]

So if I've missed anything of vital importance, feel free to tell me, but I've got some catching up to do with people.

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He slaughtered men because they were in the way of what?

[Rey is trying to understand. She was in a war herself, playing a major part of it, and if lives could be spared, be saved, she would much rather go that route. However, she's had to kill to save her own life, the lives of others--Ben included.

It's quite clear that Ivar has a sharp mind, considering the way he explains his plan. It was one thing to destroy an army, but to break their spirit--that was down right cruel. She was on the receiving end of that, where the First Order seemed so much more impossible to stop now. But, they have to have hope. They have to keep going.

She stopped eating when he mentioned his newest...acquisition.]

You have a slave? Do you know how wrong that sounds? [Well, maybe he shouldn't answer that, considering he looked delighted with that fact.]

You did let him go, didn't you?

The way of the progress they wanted. It was apparently the wrong place and wrong time for Vikings to be settling in England.

[It was something that Ragnar had held a grudge for until the day he died. Unleashing his sons upon England had been his great revenge. Now, Ivar was terrorizing the countryside and slaughtering anyone who got in his way.

He protests when Rey gives him a judgmental look over having made Bishop Heahmund into his slave.]

I treat him well! He was a great warrior and I didn't want my people to crucify him, so I saved him by having him become my slave. Besides, he doesn't mind as long as he gets to slaughter heathens. [There's a long and awkward pause before he finally answers.] ......No. We got separated, but I plan on getting him back at some point or another.

[He decides to change the subject. Talk of slavery will only make things tense between them and Ivar has other things he wants to discuss with Rey. He swallows down his latest bite of food and searches inside himself for a bit of courage.]

I had a lot of time to think about people here while I was gone. Winter, my family, my friends. I thought about you a lot.

That... [Rey's eyebrows knitted together, trying to process when the 'right time' would be for anyone, Viking or not, to be in a different country. It was stupid, it was ridiculous--about as ridiculous and mad as an entity that wanted to control all of the galaxy.] Insane. It's stupid. There's no reason behind it.

[As for Ivar's slave, Rey merely sat back and continued to stare at him. Saving this warrior priest by turning him into a slave didn't 'save' him. He would still under Ivar's control. Reduced to a thing, and seen as property. Seen as a person with only one task to do. But, Ivar changes the subject, however, Rey would bring up this point again.

What he says next causes Rey's facial expression to soften. She's shocked to hear that she was on his mind, but wondered why. Followed by her heart starting to beat a bit faster, and a sense of anxiety. What did he mean by that?]

About me?

[Because she's never heard that before. Not in the content of someone leaving and actually coming back. Not coming from a place of wanting to rule a galaxy or control an army. Thinking of her...that was more than enough, but where was he going with that? But she tries to play it off like it's nothing serious...because why should it be?]

Because of the argument we got into?

Do wars and terror ever need a reason? [He would have also added cruelty in there, but Ivar has committed too many senseless atrocities to be that much of a hypocrite. He enjoyed being vicious and violent for the sake of it, no other reason needed.

He remembers all the nights of thinking of Rey, wondering if he'd forever missed his chance to tell her how he really felt. He'd sworn if he got back he wasn't going to let the opportunity pass him by again. So he's going to get these words out, dammit, no matter if she laughs at him or feels pity instead of reciprocating them. He doesn't quite meet her eyes, instead staring at a spot on the wall just over her shoulder.]

No. Not just that. I thought a lot about what I had left behind here. Not only just my family and friends, but people that I....felt things for. People like Marco, Letha sometimes. [He finally meets her eyes, squaring himself like he's bracing himself for a blow in response to his next words.] And you.

They usually have one, yes. Always for control, for power.

[There's an iciness in her tone. That's what the First Order wanted. They wanted power, to put everyone in their 'place.' They felt they could do it and recruit or kidnap others for their cause. Their men were nothing but canon fodder. Their people were nothing but numbers and letters. Reduced to simple figures, that was it.

However, that train of thought completely derails. Ivar was having a serious conversation with her. Talking of feelings that he had for Marco, and her heart sunk a little there. She knew why, but didn't want to acknowledge it completely. Feelings for the woman who was the mother to his child--

And her.

He had feelings for her.

Confusion and surprise danced across her face, but what settled there was unrest. She was still reeling from having feelings for someone else--someone she thought she knew. Someone who didn't want to open the door between them. but this was someone she had come to love to be around. Someone who was a friend, and someone who she greatly missed when he was gone.

Stars, what could she say to that?!]

I didn't know. [Her voice sounded so soft and weak to her own ears, but she didn't know what to say.] It felt like when you left, I lost someone I cared about--and I care about you a lot. [Could he pick up on the subtlety of what she was saying? Rey leaned back, sighing in frustration. No, he wouldn't and she would have to say out loud what she felt.]

I have feelings for you too. [For him, for Ben, and Marco.

..What a damn mess she got herself into.]

[Ivar waits anxiously for a reply and he can't believe that Rey didn't know. Then again, she was about as in touch with her emotions as he was, so he couldn't well blame her for that one. Then she says the words he never thought he'd hear.]

You do? [Ivar doesn't bother to hide his surprise, his eyes wide as his voice went up at the end of the question. Honestly, he'd expected her to be kind as she rejected him, or maybe just walk out of there without saying a word. Having her feel the same way he did was something he had most definitely not seen coming.

There's a warm feeling of happiness in his chest that he's reluctant to trust. Too often, good things in his life don't last. But he wants to give into it, to be able to be happy that what he had hoped had finally happened. He leans across the table, putting his rough, callused hand over Rey's smaller one.]

I do.

[The words were whispered as though she was afraid for anyone else to hear, or for fate to hear and rip Ivar out of her life. In something that should be a happy moment for them, it began to feel sad for Rey. It began to feel like she had a weight on her heart, one that grew heavier with each moment. He deserved someone better. Someone that wasn't thrown away. Someone who would stay.

Someone who wasn't dangerous, or that could die from being in a war.

Yet, she had Cisco's voice ringing in her head, "You shouldn't put your life on hold...you should not put your happiness on hold until some distant future when it's okay to let yourself take a break." Those were the words he said to her. Didn't she deserve something nice? Something that resembled happiness?

Ivar had more courage than her at that moment, reaching across the table to place his hand over hers. Their hands saw war, bloodshed, and knew the definitions of hard work and survival. Two people from two completely different worlds, but who had so much in common. She found herself squeezing his hand, as though she was afraid he might slip through her grasp and go back to his world.]

[He rubbed his thumb, torn up and scarred, over her own hand, which wasn't smooth either after a lifetime of being a scavenger on Jakku. He barely knew what to say now that they were in the same position he'd been in before with Letha and Marco.]

I never thought you would. That you'd want someone else, someone whole, not broken and crippled.

[Ivar was tough and this was a known fact. He'd charge into battle without a single thought for his own safety and had never backed down in a fight. But when it came to his own self-esteem, it was shattered into a million little pieces. He saw himself as someone that people would only ever see as an object of pity or ridicule, someone who was nothing among his own people, and who subsequently would never be seen as equal to anyone else. No one could ever want him as someone to love or show affection to. Hence, he was always amazed when this happened.

Now he wondered where they went from here. Things couldn't just remain the same between them. Marco and he had come to an agreement before he left that they were together, but it had never been an exclusive thing. He could choose to pursue something with Rey, provided that was what she wanted too.]

[Rey's eyebrows came together, knitting in concern over Ivar's words.]

You are not broken. You are yourself; a strong, albeit stubborn viking who is a father, and a great friend.

[He was loved. That much Rey could tell. Regardless of how he saw himself, that's how she viewed him. She didn't see his flaws as weaknesses or anything to scoff at. Whereas her...she didn't think being loved would be an option for her. Not a romantic love where she would give her heart to someone--but she had and had it crushed. Her family had sold her for drinking money, and though Ben could be lying to her about that, it rang as a hollow truth for her.

If her own family didn't want her, how could anyone else?

Rey found herself squeezing Ivar's hand and then slowly pulled hers away from his. Her eyes averted downward, finding it bittersweet that she knew how he felt, but she couldn't let it go past that: simple feelings...ones that could change over time and he deserved....he deserved more than a woman with a heavy destiny on her shoulders, who could easily die, and wouldn't stay. She wouldn't put him through that kind of pain.]

You also deserve someone like Marco, not me. Not someone who will leave.

[And with Marco...she would have to refrain from going to his place anymore, because it was inappropriate for her to sleep in the same bed as him if someone had feelings for him. Even if it wasn't sexual.

It hurt to tell Ivar that, but it was the truth. Anything less would be a disservice to him.]

[Her words warmed Ivar's frozen heart, knowing that she didn't see him as so many back home did, a cripple and reject, someone that should have been killed at birth instead of being allowed to grow up. Then her next words hurt him again as she withdrew from him.

Ivar's face crumpled a little, pain clear across it at what he saw as a rejection. He recognized that, for once, this had nothing to do with him. Whatever scars Rey carried within her own mind was affecting her. Both of them had been abandoned by people who were supposed to love them. That carried its own weight with it.]

Rey, everyone's left me. My parents, my brothers, my uncle, Letha. I've never had anyone in my life stay forever. It hurts. It hurts a lot. But I know it will hurt even more if you leave without giving this a chance.

[His eyes were sad, silently begging her to stay, not to abandon him the way he felt everyone eventually did with him. He wanted her stay beside him and let whatever was between them blossom into something else.]

[It pained Rey to see Ivar's face crumple, even a little. Pain was the last thing she wanted to inflict upon him. He didn't need it, let alone deserve it. He had done nothing wrong. Neither of them had done anything wrong except start a friendship and found more in common than they were expecting. They had bonded, and she remembered at Yule how she was tempted to ask for mistletoe knowing what the tradition was.

She didn't want to tempt fate. She didn't want to get attached, but she had. As strong as Rey wanted to be, she wanted to give in. Place her hand back on his and try to comfort him, but the last time she tried, she had gotten hurt. Her heart was still recovering from that blow, and among other things.

He was willing to deal with that pain, the same way she was trying to spare him of it. He wanted to see where things could go. Could she do that? Explore what laid between them, knowing she would leave? Her expression mirrored his, sadness and pleading with him to let her go even though her heart was aching and trying hard not to reach out to take his hand again.

Cisco's voice echoed in her mind, reminding her again that she shouldn't try to put her happiness on hold while she tried to fix everything else. That would only lead to regret, and she may end up hating herself or others for it.]

I don't want to be another person in your life that's walked away, that's left you. You don't deserve that, Ivar.

[Rey was really caught between a rock and a hard place, but it was neither a 'yes' or a 'no.']

What about Marco? You said you have feelings for him too. You should be with him, he won't be leaving. [At least as far as she knew.]

[Ivar listens and the practical part of his mind tries to tell him accept the inevitability that she can't stay with him, that she won't be able to for whatever reason the fates have come up with. But emotionally he can't do that. He's stubborn to the very end, this young Viking, and won't accept what he can't have with any sort of grace.

He looks up her, trying to will her to give this a chance. He's thinking of all the possibilities he has, and while there are several more in the city that he's grown to care about, right now, what he wants is right in front of him.]

So don't leave. Stay. Stay for as long as you're able to.

[He's pleading now, trying to find the magic words that will capture her heart and make her stay with him. He so badly wants for her not to flee from him, rejecting the possibility of something between them.]

That's completely different and we're not talking about him right now. We're talking about us. Please don't leave.

[It's telling that he uses the word please. Ivar never asks or begs for anything. He simply takes it. But right now, he's willing to swallow his pride if it will only give him what he wants.]

You shouldn't ask that of me.

[But she could. She easily could, if she were selfish and if she wanted to throw everything away. Rey couldn't abandoned the Resistance, not when there were so few of them left. Not when the First Order needed to be destroyed to keep the galaxy safe. Yet, her mind nagged at her, Ben said he would stay. He proclaimed it, he wanted nothing to do with the Resistance...with the war.

If he could do it, then why couldn't she?

No, she couldn't turn her back on her friends. She couldn't live with the knowledge that she could have saved them if she had fought by their side.

Frustration stirs in her heart and it's clear in her brown eyes. She's frustrated that she's been put into this position. Frustrated that she could have something with Ivar, but couldn't bring herself to do it. What wounded her heart was the word, 'please.' The same word Ben uttered to her when he offered her his hand, giving them the opportunity to start something knew.

Her heart ached then, and it ached now. She could feel water gathering at the corners of her eyes.]

There is a war in my world, Ivar and I cannot stay while my friends fight on.

[Surely he could understand. He had gone through the portal to fight for his people. She was only doing the same. When the opportunity came for her to go, she would have to take it. Why would he want to be with her when he knew, she would leave. Why be with her when they would only end up hurting each other?

And she couldn't ignore what was happening between her two friends.]

And this--it involves him. I don't want to come between the two of you. Why do you want to be with a girl who was tossed aside, a girl who will leave? Why put yourself through that?

I am not the best choice for you. I'm not. [It wasn't him, honestly, it wasn't. There were so many things going through Rey's head that in a lot of aspects, she didn't think herself deserving of love--of being with someone. Especially after Ben...that was another mess in itself.]

[Whatever room there is in Ivar's heart for other people feels like it's aching, hurting badly as she tries to reject him, leave him all alone again. He knows that logically she'll leave or he'll have to. They both have lives back in their worlds that require them. Staying here has always seemed temporary, though whether that's for another six months or another six years, he has no idea.]

Why do you think that? I have a choice in the matter too.

[Is it so wrong for him to cling to the small bits of happiness he can find? It never lasts for him, and while it hurts worse than anything when it ends, Ivar would rather have them then never experience them at all.]

I want to be with you. Isn't that enough?

[Happiness doesn't last long for her either. When has it ever lasted for more than a handful of minutes? Maybe even seconds? Rey didn't mean to hurt Ivar like this. She didn't want to put him through any of this, but he was making a bad choice in this. She was the wrong choice. She would leave and create a bigger hole in his heart than anything.

Why did he have to be stubborn? Why did he have to remind her of someone else who was equally as stubborn...and things didn't work out then.]

I am not enough, don't you get that?

[The words slip out of her mouth, emotions taking their toll on her. She was getting frustrated and her heart was aching all the same. He couldn't ask this of her. He couldn't. And the situation was starting to get beyond her control. He wasn't listening...he wanted what he wanted and she couldn't make him see reason.]

You have a life here, Ivar. I am not going to mess with that--especially when you have feelings for someone else. I am not going to put us through something that will end up with us hating each other.

[Like it did with her and Ben...and Heavens, they were one in the same, weren't they? Brash, stubborn, and captivating eyes that she could lose herself in...but she couldn't do this to them. She didn't want Ivar to hate her in the end.]

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Video; the.boneless. Guess who's back?

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