VIDEO. A SEXUAL EDUCATION PSA.

[almightiness]

[All Might is standing in front of a blackboard that is labeled, rather boldly, 'SEX EDUCATION AND YOU'. And he is apparently in a gym building befitting a high school, a clipboard looking terribly small under his massive arm. He has the usual signature smile and seems like someone who has had to do this very thing before; confidence always comes with time, and he's had to do so many television and school PSAs in his career, he's utterly prepared and spunky!]

Hello, it's me...



And I'm here to talk about Sex Education and you! Now, it's extremely important to know, during a very... active and festive month, how your body works, and to understand the ways to both protect you and your partner! Not only this, but learning about the threat of sexually transmitted diseases and informing yourself on contraceptives is extremely important!!

ATTACHMENT: STD AND STD SYMPTOMS
ATTACHMENT: SEX EDUCATION

If you would like contraceptives - condoms, birth control, and the like - or you have any questions, we'll have options available, visit your local clinic! Or feel free to come by the high school gymnasium to pick up some of our supplies here, at no cost! It's important to protect yourself, your partner, and your future plans! We also have pamphlets and video downloads. If you have any questions, do let me know!

I know there is a vast assortment of people here, with different walks of life, so remember - no question is a stupid question!

[He whips out a banana and dramatically slaps a poster on the chalkboard:]

TODAY'S LESSON WILL REQUIRE A BANANA!

 

Comments

@dodger//video

[smokedout]

[What is that sound? Is it a tea kettle? A hyena? Some horrible mix of the two? No, it's Dodger... either laughing or having a heart attack. Holy hell.]

Fucking shit...

[Another kettle noise before he can manage an actual response.]

You offering any hands-on tutoring?

video 1/2!!!!!!

[almightiness]

Actually!!

video

[almightiness]

There are plenty of volunteers here at the high school gymnasium and at your local clinic, for this month particularly. You're more than welcome to come down and learn how to use them! 'Don't be a fool, no protection isn't cool!'

[smokedout]

[Yeah b y e he just fell off of his chair laughing.

Alright, he's back, still fighting back his laughter enough to speak.]

Yeah, you misunderstood me- [Pffffft] I was asking if you wanna take the place of the banana while I'm ah, practicing.

[Holy shit, he needed this laugh.]

1/3

[almightiness]

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........................................... Ah. I see.

2/3

[almightiness]

[OH MY GOD HE'S TALKING ABOUT MY BANANA]

[almightiness]

[He staggers and there's a ripple of ugly coughs as he struggles not to lose his form as is — and he bows to the side to avoid the video feed as he wipes his mouth and dabs away a little blood. Stupid health problems, always acting up when someone gets a rise out of him. But then he's sitting right back up, slight color in his cheeks.]

Sorry, good citizen, but that's — I'm sure there are better... volunteers... for that sort of thing!

I'M SOBBING...

[smokedout]

Sure there are. I've slept with them. I'm making my rounds to you - no need to worry, I'm clean. Somehow.

[If he has to be blunt, he's going to be... and also, he's absolutely in love with the reactions he's getting from this man. Like holy shit is he okay?]

If you're just shy, I can go easy on you, but I'm half your age. Don't gotta waste time telling me you're not worth it.

[Is that reassurance or an insult...???]

[almightiness]

... I appreciate the... kind offer, but I'm afraid I'm too busy for anything of a romantic or physical nature. [Look, fangirls and fanboys hit on him all the time, but fans are fans and it's easy to brush them off. It's a little strange that anyone here could— Well, it's just a mess. If the guy knew what he looked like when he collapses onto his bed and deflates into the unhealthy, skinny 'ghoul'...

It's just a terrible thing. He'd never string someone along...! Not that he ever has before. He took a note from Shimura-sensei's rulebook. No family involved, no relationships involved. It only ends in pain, for a hero. Especially one heavily in a spotlight.] I've been focused on working more than anything! There's always plenty to work on within a city, for any sort of pro hero...

[Please ignore his red cheeks.]

[smokedout]

[Joke's on All Might, Dodger has a unique habit of finding beauty in things that most would consider unpleasant or disgusting. But maybe it's best not to get roped into a category that also includes Pyramidhead, necromorphs and half of the creatures in Bloodborne.

His expression is one of clear dissatisfaction, but he shrugs softly and nods.]

Suit yourself. Can't say the justice system around here is anything I'd write home about, but at least we've got some eyecandy on the news, huh.

[And also, those red cheeks are adorable, and it puts a teasing smirk on Dodger's face.]

If you change your mind, lemme know. Word is I'm a bad choice that's hard not to make again.

1/2

[almightiness]

[That's the shitty thing, huh?

When people find you desirable, and yet you can barely stand to look at yourself in a mirror.]

I — will certainly let you know...! And — ah, that is...

[almightiness]

You should at least stop by for free condoms at the clinic!

[CRUSHED THE RECOVERY!!!!

He throws a peace sign.]

Since you're so popular, it's important to always be prepared, right?!

[smokedout]

[Well, if nothing else, All-Might's gotten even more genuine laughter out of Dodger. And once he can speak again, he throws up a lazy "rock on" sign in response.]

I'll look into that, sure. Good luck keeping the city safe.

[almightiness]

Thank you, good citizen!

I'll continue to do my best!

[CRISIS AVERTED]