riverview | [video]; thunderer

[The video begins in the swampier edges of the jungle. Thanks to the flooding, the water is up to Thor's waist and he has mud up his arms and on his face. He holds the camera up at a selfie angle, smiling into it and waving with a muddy hand.]

If anybody happens to know where a big, fat crocodile went, let me know. He's got a scar over his eye and his legs are very stumpy. Embarrassingly stumpy.

[Thor looks about him, holding the camera out so the audience can really appreciate the view of the overflowing river and not the fact that he's wearing a wet singlet.]

And if you've lost anything in the floods, let me know and I'll keep my eye out for-

[He cuts himself off when he catches sight of something making ripples on the water. His arm whips out of camera, snatching the tail of a snake that he brings into view.]

Look at this! Did you know snakes could swim?

[The snake hisses, flicking its tongue at Thor even as it coils around Thor's arm in a lithe, slow crawl. When Thor's hold lessens though, the snake rears back slightly like a mirage before vanishing and revealing a grinning Loki who very casually slides a small dagger into Thor's side.]

Oh dear. Was that me?

[Thor grunts, mostly in surprise but there's pain in it. The little blades sting, and it's a miracle that he can hold onto his camera (lopsidedly) when he drops to his knees and grips his side.]

You've done it now, brother. [Thor growls, with a clenched jaw.] It's all going dark. Dark and cold. I see a light, it's calling me. I'll bleed out before they find me.

[And with his final breath, he musters the strength to try kick Loki into the mud along with him.]

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[Oh, gods, and then the confusion gets worse.]

Is- You do this in Asgard?

[Is he supposed to know the lesson? IS THERE A QUIZ ON THIS?]

Mostly when we were younger.

I wasn't anticipating it, I thought that was obvious.

I mean, I didn't think he would actually stab you. That was shocking.

[He couldn't tell how serious it was. So many different cues.]

But you seemed strong enough to kick a guy with your dying breath, so I figured you must be okay. That and a knife isn't much of a weapon.

I'm gonna be honest: I can't figure out what the joke is.