riverview | [video]; thunderer

[The video begins in the swampier edges of the jungle. Thanks to the flooding, the water is up to Thor's waist and he has mud up his arms and on his face. He holds the camera up at a selfie angle, smiling into it and waving with a muddy hand.]

If anybody happens to know where a big, fat crocodile went, let me know. He's got a scar over his eye and his legs are very stumpy. Embarrassingly stumpy.

[Thor looks about him, holding the camera out so the audience can really appreciate the view of the overflowing river and not the fact that he's wearing a wet singlet.]

And if you've lost anything in the floods, let me know and I'll keep my eye out for-

[He cuts himself off when he catches sight of something making ripples on the water. His arm whips out of camera, snatching the tail of a snake that he brings into view.]

Look at this! Did you know snakes could swim?

[The snake hisses, flicking its tongue at Thor even as it coils around Thor's arm in a lithe, slow crawl. When Thor's hold lessens though, the snake rears back slightly like a mirage before vanishing and revealing a grinning Loki who very casually slides a small dagger into Thor's side.]

Oh dear. Was that me?

[Thor grunts, mostly in surprise but there's pain in it. The little blades sting, and it's a miracle that he can hold onto his camera (lopsidedly) when he drops to his knees and grips his side.]

You've done it now, brother. [Thor growls, with a clenched jaw.] It's all going dark. Dark and cold. I see a light, it's calling me. I'll bleed out before they find me.

[And with his final breath, he musters the strength to try kick Loki into the mud along with him.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Did he also get more goth or has that been a pretty constant thing?

[Casually talks shit about Loki in public as if that won't result in death.]

That depends on what goth means. He's always been a moody, little shit.

That's basically what goth is, nailed it. Good to know this shit isn't new.

Not new, but adapted from classic renditions. He was such a cute baby, too, I don't know what happened.

Do you know how much I would fucking pay for baby pics of Loki? It's a lot.

I hate to disappoint you but in that day and age if we liked a baby we painted a nice mural of it.

[Plus it's all destroyed, but he doesn't talk about that.]

Can't believe you assholes invented space travel and not cameras.

If you ask nicely I'm sure Loki would be happy to recreate some childhood memories of ours.

It wouldn't be the same as scamming them outta you somehow.

You would have to pry them from my cold, dead hands.

I'm pretty sure we already established I can't kill you.

[what a strange sentence out of context.]

Then the pictures that never existed will stay with me forever.

Can I interest you in an embarrassing story instead?

Uh, yes, for sure.

[He'll treasure it, but also:]

What's it gonna cost me?

What is it worth to you?

Five bucks?

[low-balling it there because he's not stupid.]

Do not disrespect me in this manner ever again.

[Does laughing count as disrespect?]

Can I bribe you with food? That's my usual currency.

[It does count and he's holding it against him.]

What sort of food?

[HMMM

He actually takes a second to consider this because if he's going to offer something, it'll be catered to Thor.]

Spit-roasted suckling pig?

[<a href="http://i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/mobile/000/025/376/DJrmQ8yV4AA9JjX.jpg>Thor breathes a sigh of relief.</a>]</small> Acceptable. What sort of story are you hoping for, here?