UN | Kues

[mirakills]

Congratulations, I am now sealed within a miracle.
Of course, my congratulations go to the ones capable of such a thing.
Witches should be able to summon and control gods, not the other way around.
So bravo. My heartfelt feelings of applause go out to you, divine captors.
I’ve been truly shamed.

With that out of the way, may I pose a riddle to the rest of your captured?

I am a baldfaced liar, tinged with reddened shame.
You’ll never know me for who I am, for that is just my name.
Astutely bold, encased in gold, I am the one to blame.

I hail the northeast seas as home, but I have not forgotten,
The Swiss mountains I was born, from a time long dead and rotten.
If you’re lost, I’m sitting on the tip of your tongue, it’s…
Who am I?

For who solves it… I will return something that I have taken in this City that everyone needs.
Good luck.

[ ooc; Though I’d love for you to OOCly give it a try, if your character is smart enough to figure it out, PM me ahead of time and I’ll give the answer. I have no intention of giving a riddle too hard to solve when characters ICly can! ]

Comments

[mirakills]

My mistake.
Shall I take it you're only ever horizontal or vertical from now on?

[ And she just chastised him for a rude joke, too... she's a shit, too. ]

[spellslots]

Not the worst assumption anyone's made about me.

[This is actually a good martini why doesn't he do this more often.]

So like, was that an illusion or have you got some weird-ass cat demons as friends? I won't judge, we've all been there.

[mirakills]

They're my familiars. ...... So no, the wanton destruction behind me is very real. And it'll serve a purpose for setting up a new shop.

[ In an instant, the kitties are back, and they're moving so quickly in droves that it's hard to tell what they're doing! They're cleaning up the lot, tearing up the trees and throwing it into the void, and... laying down a foundation? For a building?

Hard workers. ]

[spellslots]

Neat, I've got a mongoose but it just like steals shit from people sometimes.

[He could conjure it but ehhhhhh, effort.]

Did you get planning permission for that cause I dunno if the city officials are gonna be chill with you just doing your own thing.

[mirakills]

Rest assured, I have my credentials.

[ She pulls a parchment out of thin air, and with apologies to Parks and Recreation, it says 'I can do whatever the hell I want'. ]

Fair's fair for being brought here and having my universe traveling powers taken away from me.

[spellslots]

[Yeah, okay, that gets a little chuckle.]

If you're pissed about that you wanna take it up with the portal, not the dipshits living here.

[mirakills]

The portal.

... [ She summons a glass of wine while the cats start laying down purple bricks. ]

A type of science or magic I couldn't comprehend and therefore couldn't fight, I suppose. Anti-Mystery and Anti-Fantasy can coexist in this world, at least...

... that must sound like nonsense. To clarify; I'm the kind of witch that exists on a plane with magic. Appearing in a magic-less reality can 'dampen' my existence. Since they're both here, I'm having no problem retaining a sense of self.

[spellslots]

[Anti-mystery and anti-fantasy are both lost on him outside of like, their literal meaning, but the rest of what she says makes sense.]

Like the plane of magic or just one where they interact?

[It'll be good to know more about what she is, just in case she does start shit.]

[mirakills]

A plane of magic, yes. A higher world that observes the world, so to speak.

[ She's not going to be too opaque but that should be sufficient enough to describe the meta world and the world of witches-- it's a place that casually is above reality. ]

[spellslots]

Sounds way more like a celestial plane from how shit works where I'm from but that doesn't always carry over. You a human and a witch or is being a witch its own shit?

[Is witch her race or her class, is what he's curious about.]

[mirakills]

[ Wants to see how much she can tell the truth while still bullshitting him. ]

I'm the remnant of 12,000 years worth of one person trying to survive the same time loop over the span of a month until they finally survived, leaving me to accumulate into a sentient being of my own as the identity of the one who died rather than the one who lived, and that powerful accumulation lead to me becoming a Witch of Miracles on a plane above humans, where we observe their lives as stories.

I also make excellent cream puffs.

[ WHICH IS THE LIE, TAAKO? ]

[spellslots]

[His temptation to keep giving her shit for the sake of it is warring with the fact he genuinely wants to know more about this magic. Taako isn't a researcher on the level of Barry or Lucretia, but he still likes to understand how things work.]

That's what, four hundred years per day? I mean, I've dealt with bullshit time magic and loops before but that's balls to the wall insane. We did... shit, eleven hour loops in forty-five minutes? And even that did some seriously screwy shit to time and fate and all that.

[mirakills]

More like the months built up into years. I died one month, then again, then again, then it was a year of Junes, then several years, then thousands of summers spent in death.

[ She's normally very, very touchy about her backstory... but in this case, she is a piece in someone else's game, she's no longer on the observation deck. She expects to be replaced and erased by a higher being, as she did to others. ]

Luckily, the damage was only inward. Did you know if you fold an ordinary paper one hundred times, the thickness will reach the moon? Of course, it's impossible to do it that many times by physics alone. I did the magic equivalent of that.

[spellslots]

Dying a whole lot is pretty fucking shitty.

[Honestly, he's not entirely sure he's following, but he can at least relate to that. Big mood, as it were.]

I'm gonna guess you don't have a version of Istus where you're from?

[Taako can't imagine her putting up with this sort of thing.]

[mirakills]

I had a useless coward of a god pushing me through, but no, no Istus.

[ Someone likes their wine bitter. By the way, the cats are starting to put in windows and paint the signs. She'll have to feed them well outside the wall after this. ]

[spellslots]

What god was that? I'm not gonna put money on knowing them but hey, the universe is fucking weird, maybe I will.

[He knows a few gods.]

[mirakills]

That's a little too far into my backstory. For now you get this: I'm a bunch of layers of dead children given form and cosmic power.

I was nagging you with your joke, by the way, but feel free to refrain from them in the future based on appearance. I understand it's... strange.

[spellslots]

[There's always a kind of novelty in running into shit that's weirder than his own life.]

Dope.

[Layers of dead children are not in fact dope but like, what's he gonna do about it? It's already happened.]

If you're so powerful can't you just change how you look?

[He's wearing a glamour right now, it's all the rage.]

[mirakills]

[ For a brief moment, she looks older-- same outfit, but in her twenties-- a bit like this, before shrinking down to her original size. ]

I prefer this form more. It's cozy.

[ And unassuming. The cats behind her are using tape measurers to make sure they've built correctly-- one hangs a cheesy little neon light on the window. It blinks 'TEA & TAROT' as the shop name. Of course. She's a witch, after all. ]

[spellslots]

Hmm, kinda fucking creepy but it's your body I guess.

[After being trapped for a century unable to age, he likes that he's getting a little older, as slow as that process is for elves.]

[mirakills]

When you've inhabited the same form for thousands of years, you get used to it. Kind of like changing the tone your phone makes, it feels unnatural to change.

But to each their own.

[ She'd say getting into venues at half price is nice, but who are we kidding, she would sneak in were it not for the phenomenal cosmic power. ]

[spellslots]

I'd have to ask my boyfriend about that shit, I'm disappointingly mortal.

[Taako... doesn't actually know how long Kravitz has been Kravitz, but he knows it's a long ass time.]

[mirakills]

[ kravitz sounds cool. and if bernkastel inhabited the same canon as kravitz, she would be a fucking headache with her 12,000 deaths. ]

Oh? What kind of being is he?

[spellslots]

He's a reaper for the Raven Queen, goddess of life and death and shit back in Fearun.

[This isn't a secret, so he's not worried about sharing it.]

[mirakills]

A reaper, gods of life and death...

He sounds like a lot of fun. Is he here?

[ The cats are now sweeping up the remnants of construction for a now fully completed building with itty bitty brooms and dust pans. How cute. ]