un | eggplantavenger

[notreallyrobin]

hey uh
i bet you all get this a lot, but, uh, am i dead? like, straight up dead? is this purgatory?
because i really messed up and think i died and then i woke up in the hospital here and its all really
uh
a lot

and im kind of freaking out

ok yeah i guess i was about to die. and they explained all that but does that mean like, the me back home is dead??? or does that me just not exist anymore??????

(lowkey i still think this might be purgatory. if it was heaven i would have my own room.)

[ Gee. Stream-of-consciousness sure is easy when you're speaking to the void. But hey. It's better than staying in her bunk and going nuts alone. ]

ugh ok anyway someone distract me from existential bullshit
whats your favorite animal and why. best answer becomes my purgatory bff

Comments

[notreallyrobin]

i think you might be a jerk
call it a hunch
favorite animal or bust, bucko

[bastardofipswich]

it's ok i'm dead i can make those jokes

[ Well. Dead AND ALSO a jerk. ]

spiders 🕷️
they're friendly and helpful
and look really cool
and people are afraid of them
the whole package!

[notreallyrobin]

i think im also dead, is there a support group? community meeting? bake sale?

anyway how are they helpful the only thing they have ever done for me is accidentally land on me or put cobwebs all over my favorite roofs
its v rude

[bastardofipswich]

no but somebody should start one so all us dead people can network

they're helpful if you know how to talk to them
perks of being a witch
besides you can't tell me that the really fuzzy tarantulas AREN'T cute

[ They're his familiars, okay! He's gotta put in a good word for his creepy crawly army. ]

[notreallyrobin]

on it, as soon as i get over the whole being dead thing

are you a witch?? thats cool ig
and they arent cute....fight me about ti

[bastardofipswich]

yeah. and then someone dropped a house on me and now i'm here

[ Or more like somebody threw him into a fiery portal to hell, but SHH details. ]

how'd you die?
or is that a question you only answer on the third date

btw. counterpoint: peacock spiders

[ ATTACHMENT, BEWARE IF YOU'RE AFRAID OF SPIDERS. For the arachnophobes in the audience: it's a gif of a fuzzy blue spider doing a mating dance. ]

game set match!

thats actually a great spider.....

[notreallyrobin]

nice one, wicked witch
i got murdered
not really feeling going into details though

and that is a very fancy spider. most of the ones i'm used to are pretty rude