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VIDEO, @GEKOKUJOU
(in the beginning, it looks like suigetsu is trying to take a selfie with a particularly horrifying looking fish with teeth longer than its dorsal spines. but he lowers his peace sign, pulls the phone closer for a flattering view of double-chin, and grins into the camera.)
Yo, I'm Houzuki Suigetsu, and this is my first network post of all time. I'm gonna make an announcement to commemorate it, so listen, okay? I won't repeat myself just 'cause you wouldn't pay attention the first time around!
(hope your phone has a translator, because it's notably japanese, both spoken and written on the sign suigetsu lifts up. it looks handmade and like something a child in elementary school could cook up. and while there's an attempt at english, to appease the majority of the people here, both languages have poor spelling and even poorer handwriting.)
Do you like fish and fish-like things? Amphibians and, uh, things that look a lot like amphibians that I'm not too sure about? Well, look no further than—
(eyes creasing, there's a flash of pointy chompers that make him look like he belongs there.)
We were open before this, but I thought that there should be more of you guys going now that I work there. Like the sign says, we're open every single day except for Sunday, from nine in the morning till five in the evening. This might mean that you can't come, 'cause you're at your own job, but you should leave there and come here for a tour instead!
What do you think? It's a swell idea, right? Are you coming right now?
(a tilt to his head, raising the phone back up so only his eyes, his forehead, and his fish friends are visible. many bubbles are blown, many alien crab pincers are pinced. and honestly? it looks kind of fun.)
Lemme know if you are, so I can meet you at the entrance and give you one of my super special all-inclusive tours, with a bonus prize if you listen to my whole talk without interrupting. How could you pass an opportunity like this up?! The right answer is that you can't!
Suigetsu, out-o!
Yo, I'm Houzuki Suigetsu, and this is my first network post of all time. I'm gonna make an announcement to commemorate it, so listen, okay? I won't repeat myself just 'cause you wouldn't pay attention the first time around!
(hope your phone has a translator, because it's notably japanese, both spoken and written on the sign suigetsu lifts up. it looks handmade and like something a child in elementary school could cook up. and while there's an attempt at english, to appease the majority of the people here, both languages have poor spelling and even poorer handwriting.)
Do you like fish and fish-like things? Amphibians and, uh, things that look a lot like amphibians that I'm not too sure about? Well, look no further than—
(eyes creasing, there's a flash of pointy chompers that make him look like he belongs there.)
We were open before this, but I thought that there should be more of you guys going now that I work there. Like the sign says, we're open every single day except for Sunday, from nine in the morning till five in the evening. This might mean that you can't come, 'cause you're at your own job, but you should leave there and come here for a tour instead!
What do you think? It's a swell idea, right? Are you coming right now?
(a tilt to his head, raising the phone back up so only his eyes, his forehead, and his fish friends are visible. many bubbles are blown, many alien crab pincers are pinced. and honestly? it looks kind of fun.)
Lemme know if you are, so I can meet you at the entrance and give you one of my super special all-inclusive tours, with a bonus prize if you listen to my whole talk without interrupting. How could you pass an opportunity like this up?! The right answer is that you can't!
Suigetsu, out-o!
WELP... /accidental date is a go
Okay. So, that's... fine. It's not the first time Gladio's been asked out and certainly not the last, casual dating is the name of the game for someone who can't afford the luxury of settling down. He just wasn't expecting it from this guy. And it's too awkward to question it a second time. Gladio scrubs hard at the back of his neck and grimaces. ]
Sure, I guess. I'll uh... [ Why is he agreeing to this? Is it pity? Morbid interest?
Comedic value?] Be there in an hour.no subject
(it better be morbid curiosity, because if you tell him it's one or both of the other reasons, heads will roll.)
You're the first, so go easy on me. I'm so not an expert yet. Man, I just got kinda nervous.
(this is his first tour, after all.)
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS
He takes a shower, styles his hair. Puts on basically one of the three damn outfits he owns, all variations of grey or black and leather. A few push-ups to get his arms swole - YES THIS IS A THING. And just. Gets himself in the mood. ]
Oi, Suigetsu.
[ It's an hour later and Gladio's probably been pacing outside for a good 10 of those minutes, not sure if he should come in early. He opts for sliding in right on time to exude confidence. ]
no subject
(he looks strangely normal, already standing by the entrance in a turquoise t-shirt complete with aquarium logo, a pair of jeans, and thong sandals, pointing through one of the windows on either side of the door.) You were walking around out there for a while, did you drop something? (still a ninja, still an expert at being a creep and watching someone nervously pace for ten minutes.
then it becomes clear that there's a fist-sized snail latched onto the back of suigetsu's hand, being casually motioned around while he speaks. there's too much going on here at once.)
I can help you look, if you didn't find it.
no subject
Gladio stiffens up. DAMMIT, CAUGHT ]
Tch -- [ Give him a bit to come up with an excuse, any excuse. Scrubbing at the back of his neck, Gladio stares down at Suigetsu and should feel kinda good about the guy offering to look for his imaginary belongings, but instead he just feels annoyed. DON'T ASK. ]
Nah, I - uh - must've left it in my other pants. It's not a big deal.
[ Why did he agree to this. ]
...So, aquarium. [ Let's quickly pretend that never happened. ]
no subject
(stupid is as stupid does; suigetsu doesn't suspect a thing. he simply turns on his heel and beckons his new student with a wave over his shoulder, setting off to the front desk.) Just wait while I check you in, then we'll head out, 'kay? (lets gladio get his bearings from that doozy of a first minute, picking up a pen to—
oh. right.)
Um, how do you spell your name? G-Gura... Guradi...
...
(writes "gdo".)
no subject
But okay, this is fine. Gladio can trail after Suigetsu as he takes the lead, folding his arms over his chest as he looks around without actually registering anything - he's kind of still wondering what insanity went through his head that landed him here. So far there is a growing mountain of evidence suggesting insanity up to and including the laughably abbreviated entry in the guest book. ]
Seriously? [ This takes half-assed to an entirely new level. ] Gimme that.
[ Gladio reaches over for the pen to pluck it from his fingers and scribble down in English: Gladiolus Amicitia. ]
I know it's a mouthful but c'mon -- you didn't even try.
[ When he leaves him with the pen, he slaps it onto his palm - point away of course - and then aims a light poke in his side with his elbow to lighten his rebuke. ]
Has anyone told you your spelling sucks?
no subject
grips the pen that's handed to him, thinking very seriously about sticking it into the side of gladio's neck. refrains, taking the elbow jab in the side like sasuke would, with patience and dignity and an outward exasperation.)
I didn't get chances to learn! It wasn't very high on my list of priorities, y'know, and It's not my fault your name's so damn long.
(slapping the pen on the desk before slapping a hand onto gladio's arm, trying to steer him away from the desk with a light shove.)
Your tour starts now, so be nice to me. Whaddaya wanna see first? Fish, amphibians, or mammals?
I'm so sorry....
...This is Suigetsu. Calm down. He's not going to stab you with that pen. He's harmless.
That's what Gladio tries to tell himself at least. Shaking off that nagging sense of unease and chalking it up to nerves going on a date that is entirely out of his usual, his element, he just... tries to get his head back in the game. Leans his arms against the counter and looks at him over his heavily inked shoulder and offers a warm smile. ]
Like anything else, it just takes practice.
[ Wait, wait, something's missing. Oh, right. A special touch - this is an opportunity he shouldn't shun just because he's not a girl with soft hair and doe eyes. Suigetsu wanted this to be just the two of them, right? Might as well make him feel - um.
Special. ]
You know... [ Gladio seizes the day, reaching out to grasp Suigetsu by the shoulder and give it a reassuring squeeze. ] If you ask nicely, I could give you a private lesson. [ WINK WONK. ]
Why don't we start with whatever exhibit is your favorite?
how did this happen
then removes his hand, unveiling just how deep the pen is digging in and staying there for the next person to happen upon, and removes himself with a sidestep and a walk off down the hall.)
Just what are you talking about? Spelling lessons, or something else? 'Cause your innuendo's falling pretty short, there. (his favourite is exhibit is very hard to place, but if he had to make a conscious choice...) C'mon then, before everything falls asleep. We'll head over to the shark tanks and you can even try to feed one if you want. It's about time for that.
(keeping his pace, but checking over his shoulder repeatedly here and there to make sure gladio is following and listening.)
Sharks have been around longer than humans have, so that alone should tell you how great they are. Kisame-senpai sacrificed his body and got eaten by a bunch of sharks. (who?) I wish I could go out like that, but it's a bit overdramatic.
gladio what did u do
Woah -- [ And just like that, Suigetsu is off like a gun, as if Gladio had inadvertently tripped some hair trigger. Strange is one thing, his looks alone qualify but Gladio's become now keenly aware that he's mistaken Suigetsu's awkward lack of social skills for flirtation and --
Yeah, Gladio's not used to this. ]
...Huh? [ This is the part where he's going to be struggling to keep up with Suigetsu, if only because the man seems utterly 'over' whatever set him off and continuing the tour. Gladio can feel sweat prickling at his neck and in his hair but despite a few alarm bells ringing in his head to abort mission, he jogs after him.
He's got to at least apologize, right? ]
Uh... don't tell me Kisame was another guest. [ Gladio attempts humor, but the lack of laughter even on his part betrays his caution. ]
no subject
(the way the discussion has led is good, naturally, keeping him preoccupied with his passion and his ultimate goal. it's obvious he's reverent of the blades... but reverent of their owners? not so much.
a rather chipper "this waaay!" leads them down a wide hallway — and beyond that? an expanse of blue, gallons upon gallons upon gallons of water trapped behind thick panes of convex glass that promises a crystalline view of something breathtaking. an archway, a tunnel of a small ocean teeming with life, colourful alien fish and several other unrecognizeable creatures drifting lazily in the artificial currents.)
Aren't they all pretty cute? Tell them you think so. (finally a harmless suggestion, hand on the glass, pausing in stride to turn, face him, and stretch an arm out demonstratively.)
...
You think I'm being insensitive, don'tcha, Gladio? Don't make such a worried face, Kisame-senpai just wanted to go and inconvenience everyone by dying in the end. So he summoned his sharks and they swallowed up aaall of his secrets for him, leaving Samehada in some unworthy guy's possession.
tmw gladdy finally realizes suigetsu's why the red bar at the top of the screen is active
...
[ This has taken a dark turn, and those alarm bells have become a blaring siren until the Shield finds himself clenching his fists tight. Insensitive doesn't even cover it -- Suigetsu sounds psychotic.
He really shouldn't have taken him so lightly. ]
Hey, take it easy.
[ Gladio speaks carefully, willing his fists to relax after he feels the bite of blunted nails in his palm. Swords are interesting but, if they're going to bring out this side in Suigetsu, perhaps it's best they discuss something harmless. ]
Why don't we change the subject? [ Amber eyes dart briefly away from Suigetsu, into the water. Onto the first fish he sees and lifts his chin to indicate it. He doesn't risk making any sudden moves or encroaching on his personal space - not after that warning. ] What're those?
ALERT, DO NOT ENGAGE
when will these people realize that death isn't the worst that can happen to someone?)
Eh? I'm taking it easy, what're you on about? (tilting his head heavily to one side, looking all the more harmless when he childishly purses his lips despite the pronounced instances of lunacy.) I thought you liked swords, but now you don't wanna talk about 'em? I guess you came for the tour... I should do my job...
(absolutely snapping like an elastic band, right back into the tensionless, easy-going suigetsu who invited gladio along in the first place. it's obvious, however, that his stare isn't leaving the shield anytime soon — and it speaks to his own level of caution where near strangers are concerned.)
Those are "guperels", like uh. Guppy and mackerel put together. Neat, right? (a very fond look aimed at the awkward fish trying to live its life, but suigetsu raises a hand against the glass once more, the current suddenly shifting in order to guide the fish closer to them for gladio's close inspection.) Kinda sounds like "goop", so that's what I named these ones. Goops.
(a big, pointy grin.)
no subject
[ An uncomfortable silence answers Suigetsu. Another day perhaps he would have gladly engaged him on the topic, thinking the way he lit up with interest as a pleasant change from the usual. However, after today it takes on a decidedly sinister twist and Gladio can't help but think there's a lot going on here that he's not seeing. He was, after all, very wrong about Suigetsu's intentions and played a part of his own however inadvertently in this shift in mood.
And just like that, Suigetsu's tone is lighter. Gladio's left in his wake feeling like he's got emotional whiplash, but the warning in his heart seems to have lessened. ]
...
[ Gladio watches the dramatic shift and sway of the fish suddenly carried by a different and by his observation altogether too convenient a shift in current. He's controlling that current, isn't he? ]
Goops, heh.
[ By the Six, he's like a kid. A very disturbed child with a fearsome power. Gladio will need to tread carefully. ]
I've always wondered - how does a guy who cares for fish feel about fishing? Do you hate it?