video ==> text | @gamora

[godslay]

[ Hey, you know who hasn't graced the network in a while?

This tiny monster.

You know who understands how the network works and thinks it's neat?

That same tiny monster.

When the camera clicks on, Groot is standing way too close to the screen, and all that can be seen are his gigantic, black eyes. There's a muffled, "I am Groot?" and then he's setting the communicator down and taking a few steps back until he's mostly visible from the waist up. He waves cheerfully at the camera, and then reaches offscreen to produce...

This bad boy.

He waves it around effortlessly; even if it's already extended, it's clearly near weightless. An excellent blade, all around.

Not excellent for children, however.

Offscreen, Gamora's voice sounds distant:

"Peter, have you seen my—"

Her feet appear in the camera's view, followed by a sharp, reprimanding, ]

Groot! Give that back! You're going to hurt yourself!

[ And she's stomping over to snatch away her sword.

Groot whines when Gamora takes Godslayer, and after a brief pause, the sapling is bursting into immediate, earsplitting bawling.

Sorry to anyone next door or on the adjacent floors. ]

Ugh.

[ She scoops up her communicator, too. It takes a second for her to notice that Groot turned it on, but then she clicks off the feed. ]



[ Following after that disaster: ]

Who has experience dealing with tantrums?

Comments

[madeupnames]

[Oh, well, might as well give it the ol' nerdy kid touch. It wasn't that long ago that he was a kid having tantrums, especially after his mom and dad died; he can think of a few things that settled him down, so maybe this'll work out? He puts his hands on his knees, pleasantly casual.]

Hey, Groot. Sorry you don't get to play with sharp pointy things, but those're crazy dangerous.

[He digs around in his backpack, pulling out a DVD box to offer him to look at. It's clearly some sort of animated Lord of the Rings spin-off thing, but Peter had gotten it because it focused a lot on the Ents; he thinks Groot would get a kick out of it.]

If you promise not to touch her sharp scary sword, how about we watch this cool movie?

It's got a bunch of tree people kicking the crap out of really bad guys. Like, they are seriously so cool, like you.

[godslay]

[ Gamora stands back with her arms crossed over her chest, watching Groot like a hawk in case he decides he wants to start having a fit again.

From where Groot has rebelliously sprawled himself out on the seat of the chair (instead of sitting on it properly), he pushes himself up to look at Peter. He still looks grumpy, which is funny for someone who's basically a tree, and he skeptically examines the DVD, then Peter.

Apparently, tree people are decent enough bribery. ]

I am Groot.

[ Gamora sighs with something close to relief. ]

That's a yes.

[madeupnames]

Oh, sweet! Let's hit the TV then, Groot.

[He gives Gamora a thumbs up, so entirely confident in his plan.]

... You guys have a TV, right?

[Okay, mostly confident in his plan.]

[godslay]

[ She gives Little Pete a Look. ]

You think Peter lives in this apartment without one?

[ Which is to say: yes, they have a TV. They spend a lot of time making use of it, as a matter of fact. ]

Over in the living room.

[madeupnames]

Good point!

[He says it as he parkours over the back of the couch. What an athletic young boy!]

You're gonna love Middle Earth stuff, Groot; I'm not gonna throw any spoilers at you, but it's so cool.

[He's in the process of turning everything on when he gives pause and throws an arm over the back of the couch. Apparently, something is deeply troubling.] Hey, Gamora. How do you learn Grootanese? ... Grootish?

[godslay]

[ She follows along after them, giving Groot a scrutinizing look – to make sure he knows she's still watching him for any misbehavior. She leans her hip against the couch, arms crossed as she watches Peter go about setting up the movie. ]

Just Groot.

[ Plain and simple. ]

It takes time. You'll start to hear it, the longer you stay around him.

[madeupnames]

Oh, cool! Then I can be your part-time babysitter on the weekends.

[He looks down at Groot, sitting with his feet criss-crossed in front of him (pay no mind to the shoes that don't match, long story).]

We'd totally watch a ton of movies 'til we passed out, right?

[godslay]

[ Groot has plopped himself down next to Peter (looking particularly small on the couch), and he looks back up at his friend and enthusiastically nods.

Gamora just shakes her head (with the hint of a smile). ]

We could use a reliable babysitter. But he can be... difficult.

[madeupnames]

[He'll just start up the movie's previews, so Groot can be distracted by bright exciting animated trailers.]

Oh, that's alright. I mean, I've handled some pretty big tantrums before. [Pete is literally talking about a man shooting at him with a gun. Or an alien throwing acid at him. Hideous.] Besides, I went through some crazy behaviors when I was little, so I get it. No judgement here.

[godslay]

[ She seems to be considering this, and then: ]

We'll call you next time.

[ But more importantly: ]

... Why don't your shoes match?

[madeupnames]

[He blinks at her innocently.]

Hm?

[godslay]

[ Aaaaaaand she points at his shoes. ]

[madeupnames]

[He looks down at his feet, wiggling them side to side a bit.]

They're both black?

[So clearly they're matching.]

[godslay]

[ Don't make her throw a pillow at you. ]

Peter.

[ oh look it's the half-threat-half-disappointment voice she uses on big pete ]

[madeupnames]

[Aw, man, don't use the Big Pete tone on me. :(]

I just lost one goofing off with the other kids, that's all.

I'll get some new ones later!

[This boy is accident prone and is always losing shit, wow.]

[godslay]

[ GIVING HIM THAT SQUINTY SKEPTICAL MOM LOOK. ]

Do it tomorrow.

[madeupnames]

Whuh-! Why? They're totally good shoes! They have soles and laces and there's no rips anywhere.

[BUT MOOOOoooom.]

Groot, cover me here, you think my shoes are fine! Right?

[godslay]

[ Sucks to be you, Petey-boy, because Groot is so wrapped up in cartoons that he doesn't even look over.

Gamora has that smug look on her face now. ]

Get. New. Shoes.

[madeupnames]

I will! I will, I swear!

[He clears his throat, mumbling under his breath.]

... When I can afford them...

[godslay]

. . .

[ . . . ]

What.

[madeupnames]

[He looks up.]

What what?

[godslay]

You can't afford shoes?

[ NOT. ACCEPTABLE. ]

[madeupnames]

N-no, no, I can afford them! I just gotta wait 'til my next payday thing. I had to buy someone else some shoes because I accidentally messed them up? And then after that, I helped pay for someone to get towed, so I, like, I just kind of lost track of my card balance, so by the time I was getting lunch yesterday I was all — crap, I've only got 10 bucks left 'til next Friday?

... F-funny how that happens, huh?

[Don't even get him into the money he spends as Spider-Man.]

[godslay]

[ how is he worse with money than the guardians

She's just staring at him for a long moment, and then: ]

What size are your feet?

[madeupnames]

... Nonono — you're not gonna buy me shoes.

[He wags his hand like this is the MOST IMPOSSIBLE THING OFFERED.]

I swear, I can get my own! I'll cut someone's yard or something. You, you - you don't gotta get me shoes. I'm solid.