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video ==> text | @gamora
[ Hey, you know who hasn't graced the network in a while?
This tiny monster.
You know who understands how the network works and thinks it's neat?
That same tiny monster.
When the camera clicks on, Groot is standing way too close to the screen, and all that can be seen are his gigantic, black eyes. There's a muffled, "I am Groot?" and then he's setting the communicator down and taking a few steps back until he's mostly visible from the waist up. He waves cheerfully at the camera, and then reaches offscreen to produce...
This bad boy.
He waves it around effortlessly; even if it's already extended, it's clearly near weightless. An excellent blade, all around.
Not excellent for children, however.
Offscreen, Gamora's voice sounds distant:
"Peter, have you seen my—"
Her feet appear in the camera's view, followed by a sharp, reprimanding, ]
Groot! Give that back! You're going to hurt yourself!
[ And she's stomping over to snatch away her sword.
Groot whines when Gamora takes Godslayer, and after a brief pause, the sapling is bursting into immediate, earsplitting bawling.
Sorry to anyone next door or on the adjacent floors. ]
Ugh.
[ She scoops up her communicator, too. It takes a second for her to notice that Groot turned it on, but then she clicks off the feed. ]
[ Following after that disaster: ]
Who has experience dealing with tantrums?
This tiny monster.
You know who understands how the network works and thinks it's neat?
That same tiny monster.
When the camera clicks on, Groot is standing way too close to the screen, and all that can be seen are his gigantic, black eyes. There's a muffled, "I am Groot?" and then he's setting the communicator down and taking a few steps back until he's mostly visible from the waist up. He waves cheerfully at the camera, and then reaches offscreen to produce...
This bad boy.
He waves it around effortlessly; even if it's already extended, it's clearly near weightless. An excellent blade, all around.
Not excellent for children, however.
Offscreen, Gamora's voice sounds distant:
"Peter, have you seen my—"
Her feet appear in the camera's view, followed by a sharp, reprimanding, ]
Groot! Give that back! You're going to hurt yourself!
[ And she's stomping over to snatch away her sword.
Groot whines when Gamora takes Godslayer, and after a brief pause, the sapling is bursting into immediate, earsplitting bawling.
Sorry to anyone next door or on the adjacent floors. ]
Ugh.
[ She scoops up her communicator, too. It takes a second for her to notice that Groot turned it on, but then she clicks off the feed. ]
[ Following after that disaster: ]
Who has experience dealing with tantrums?
no subject
... Yeah?
[ A weird mix of amused and— something. Curious? Pleased? Even Peter isn't entirely sure what. ]
If you're serious about this, we can— I dunno. Do some house hunting, I guess.
Can't say I know the first thing about it, though.
no subject
[ Her last actual house was on her home planet.
They both know what happened to it. ]
I'm sure others here have experience we can use.
[ Which is actually a convenience of the Quarantine.
But: ]
Does the fence have to be white?
no subject
No. Not really? It's just, you know. Traditional. On Earth, anyway. Who the hell knows how it works around Riverview.
no subject
[ And she seems genuinely pleased with the idea.
She likes that they can share something like this. ]
How soon do you want to look?
no subject
[ From the corner of his eye, he sees a vine snaking over the edge of the coffee table, toward his Zune, and Peter jerks upright. ]
Hey!
[ The vine stops, accompanied by a cracking sound, as Groot snaps them off. The kid scrambles to turn back around as Peter looks at him, pretending (badly) to have had nothing to do with what just happened.
Peter sighs. ]
Just for that, we're adding on five more minutes.
[ And Groot splutters in protest: ]
I am Groot!
[ But I didn't do anything! ]
You want me to add five more?
[ And Groot flops back onto the chair dramatically. ]
no subject
She scrolls through them as Groot huffs and whines, but she waits until the pouty sapling has plopped back into his chair. ]
Some people are suggesting distracting him when he has such a violent response.
no subject
Distract him how? Should I get out a disco ball or something?
no subject
[ She shrugs, and continues looking through the messages. ]
Or we can let him scream and ignore him until he realizes his fits will get him nothing.
no subject
[ Not that they've gotten many complaints so far. Not a single person has banged on a wall, or stomped on their ceiling from an upper floor, or used a broom to bang against their floor from the room below, but—
You never know, right? ]
I guess we try distraction, then? Just get his attention with something interesting, or...?
no subject
Something he might like instead. Another recommendation is to make him laugh, to make him forget why he was upset.
[ ... Gamora, being Gamora, leans slightly more to not entertaining his tantrums. But she also understands that they live surrounded by others, and they aren't the only ones who would be affected. ]
no subject
no subject
[ Said so decisively, too. ]
I can hold up against his screaming until he stops, or you can try to bribe him to stop.
[ With jokes or toys or sweets – whatever he thinks will work. ]
no subject
Really? I thought you told me not to bribe him?
[ Because Peter's go-to response had absolutely been chucking a piece of chocolate at the kid when he was getting weird, but they put an end to that pretty quickly. ]
no subject
[ That's the bigger concern: she's pretty sure Groot would just start wailing to get what he wants, nonstop, if he learned it meant he'd get candy. ]
no subject
That's not a bribe. My jokes are a gift.
[ in no universe is this true. ]
no subject
No, Peter.
[ Just n o.
BUT PRESSING ON. ]
If your jokes make him stop, then that's fine. I'm not sure how to distract him without truly bribing him otherwise. I do not want him to think that these fits will manipulate us.
no subject
[ And speak of the devil, the kid still is sprawled out on the seat, head lolled to one side as he glares at the two of them. Peter takes a deep, rallying breath. ]
I know you're bored, Groot. That's the point. You're supposed to think about what you did wrong.
I am Groot!
You absolutely did do something wrong, so just think harder.
[ And Groot groans, spends a couple of seconds pounding his fists and heels against the seat, before flopping over onto his side in a huff.
Peter grumbles beneath his breath, ]
I'm really not liking his attitude lately.
no subject
[ All the complaining and sulking and grumbliness...
It must have just come out of nowhere, obviously. ]
I can only assume it will improve with time. He's still young.
no subject
[ Flatly. ]
Joke all you like – I’ve still never stooped so low to swipe your sword.
no subject
[ Emphasis on "try." ]
no subject
You know, one of these days, you're really gonna have to stop threatening to dismember me.
no subject
[ Psh. That's just a normal part of any relationship. ]
gg this never posted
[ Flatly, and without an ounce of hesitation. ]
It's not exactly what I'd call healthy communication, is all.
no subject
Thinking about it...
Thinking about it...
And finally: ]
Don't give me a reason to dismember you, and I won't threaten to do it.
no subject
[ He takes a deep, rallying breath after a second, pulling a hand down his face, then, ]
I guess that's as good as it's gonna get, huh?
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