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[goblinemperor]

[ Maia is unfamiliar with advanced technology, so he checks and double-checks and triple-checks to make sure the message he is posting will not bear his name, before he asks: ]

What would you do with your freedom, if you had it for the first time in your life and never learned how to use it?

[ The question is awkwardly phrased, true, but he really is pretty desperate for advice. One way and another, he's been pent up and under supervision since he was born, and now he doesn't really know how else to be. ]

Comments

[bythehand]

Shooting. But with paint. No actual injuries or anything. Someone could probably use it for art if they wanted.

[ Whoof.

That's a hell of an answer, though. Easy to relate to, even if just in the sense that he knows he'll go home as soon as possible, too. Going back to the Resistance is freedom, for him. This reads more like turning himself in to the First Order would.

(And he would if it meant staying between his people and dire consequences, sure, he can understand this whole sentiment, but still.) ]

It means everything. It's not worth less just because you give it up. And you shouldn't have to.

[goblinemperor]

[ Maia, for whom 'shooting' means something entirely different than it does to Finn, is now fully imagining paintball as some kind of (no doubt mounted, because he's never been hunting but he's heard a lot of dudes talking about their stables for hours at boring court functions) sport where people shoot one another with arrows that are somehow padded and tipped in paint. Which explains his nonsensical response of: ]

I may try that, though I must admit I have little skill on horseback.

[ It's surprising, actually, how much it hurts reading the unknown stranger's reply. To think that his freedom does mean something. That it matters, and has weight. For someone to insist on that, not even knowing him, strangely overwhelms Maia, and he actually feels tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. Foolish. ]

Perhaps you are right. I am not accustomed to thinking of myself as worth much.

[ Maia is new to this whole anonymous communication thing, and just discovering that it makes certain truths a hell of a lot easier to admit. All this honesty is a bit dizzying. ]

Many things are not as they should be. Some of those can be mended, and they should be, but my situation is not one of them. If I do not return, I will cause suffering. It would not only be selfish, but an act of evil. It would be murder, for at least two people I love [ WHEW he really just said that ] as surely as if I held the knife. So I must give it up, or else become a villain. There is no alternative.

[bythehand]

[ Finn, meanwhile, has a vivid mental image of what it would be like for paintball to involve being on horseback. It's not a good image. Kind of nightmare-worthy, actually.

If this person looks into it, maybe they can be relieved that it doesn't involve riding. A pleasant, interesting surprise.

They seem like they could use a pleasant surprise in their life, ever. ]

I hope there's a way for you to find an alternative while you're here.

More impossible things out there.

[goblinemperor]

[ The simple kindness and optimism of that wish are, surprisingly, a little painful. Maia is still so unaccustomed, to people wishing genuinely for his happiness. And this wish can have no other motivations - flattery, calculation, self-interest, the good of Ethuveraz - none of that. ]

Thank you, kind stranger. Perhaps I will. The future is impossible to read.

[bythehand]

Yeah, definitely.

Don't be afraid to keep asking for help, either. It's a good place. A lot of us know some of what you're dealing with. Sort of like having a team on your side.