[ text | posted anonymously ]

[goblinemperor]

[ Maia is unfamiliar with advanced technology, so he checks and double-checks and triple-checks to make sure the message he is posting will not bear his name, before he asks: ]

What would you do with your freedom, if you had it for the first time in your life and never learned how to use it?

[ The question is awkwardly phrased, true, but he really is pretty desperate for advice. One way and another, he's been pent up and under supervision since he was born, and now he doesn't really know how else to be. ]

Comments

[also anon, permanently]

[goblinemperor]

How long, in your experience?

That seems to go along with what others are saying, but I had not heard it phrased like that. Trial and error.

[ The idea of errors along the way is instantly alarming, but... well, isn't that kind of the issue? Maia has not been in an environment where he could have any kind of trials, without them being known to everyone in court and subject of gossip. And any errors would be fodder for laughter and judgment. Here, though... perhaps he can use this time and his anonymity to his advantage. ]

What sorts of trials have you conducted?

[evasives]

It has been almost a year and there are parts of it I am still adjusting to. A lifetime of few personal choices is not easily fixed with sudden freedom.

If something is interesting, instead of avoiding it, I try it. Food, a place, a potential hobby. I thought about what it would be like to run every morning: tried it, enjoyed it, kept doing it. I tried other hours of the day and did not care for it as much. Mistakes are not dangerous here when it comes to a casual life.

[goblinemperor]

[ A YEAR!? That sounds endless to Maia. And yet, at the same time, he feels relief. Everyone else is speaking as if it should be easy for him, to disregard the training of a lifetime and embrace his new situation. Something he could accomplish in the snap of his fingers. At least this stranger - who is hiding their name, too - is proof that he is not broken in some way, for the difficulty he's having.

And he can tell that Cassian really gets it when he goes out of his way to say that mistakes aren't dangerous, here. ]

I find that very difficult to imagine. A world where mistakes do not lead to pain.

[ That's definitely not something he would have admitted very readily, were it not for the anonymity. ]

And will no one notice, or remark, on such experiments? Is there truly no gossip here?

[ As emperor, no one would have dared lay a hand on him, but that didn't mean he was free. His every word and movement were observed, noted, commented on. It was enough to make anyone - even someone far bolder than himself - feel self-conscious and frightened of trying anything new. ]

[evasives]

[sometimes it feels long for cassian too. he usually traipses across a handful of planets in that timeframe, and yet here he is, still on this moon. it's a very long process! cassian gets it on some level, what this mystery person is going through, however different their circumstances undoubtedly are.]

It is not necessarily no pain. I am just used to mistakes being far more life threatening. Here they feel much more... fixable or forgivable.

I am sure there is plenty of gossip, simply because any social being thrives on communication, but I think you will find there are a lot of people trying to create new lives for themselves in the quarantine. I have encountered little disparagement while I figure everything out.