001 - shenanigans

[citharede]

[ It's three in the morning when she posts this video.

Here is Athena, hanging her head and part of her torso off the edge of her apartment building's roof and filming herself upside-down, the dark streets below outlined in streetlights and marked by the occasional pedestrian. ]

How do you do, fellow kids. [ She dangles one arm alongside her head, hanging on to her device one-handed. ] I'm super fucking bored which I didn't think would actually be physically possible on a moon in another universe, but anyway.

Who wants to go on a firefly hunt? Catch a bunch of the fuckers, turn them loose in a department store. Or an office building. Or a coffee shop. Anywhere we can get in easy and run away fast. [ She rolls over so she's filming herself against the backdrop of the night sky now, instead of the street. ]

Whoever catches the most wins something, whoever gets bit loses automatically and has to go jump in the river.

Comments

[honeybadgerer]

What details? He didn't get the chance. Laura beheaded him and he crashed on top of me.

[citharede]

[ DOTTITY DOT DOT. ]

...That's hardcore.

[honeybadgerer]

[ gabby grins. ]

We're pretty tough.

[citharede]

Laura's your sister?

[ Wait, if Laura is here, and Laura is little, is she that kid who was on the network a little while ago....??

Athena tries to envision that kid beheading a tentacle monster and can't quite manage it. ]

[honeybadgerer]

[ you haven't seen her when she's angry. ]

Yeah. My original.

[citharede]

Your original....

[ Athena shakes her head. ]

Man, we can barely clone sheep where I'm from.

[honeybadgerer]

Why would you want to clone sheep?

Are they killer sheep?

[citharede]

...You know, I have no idea. Just to see if they could I guess?

[honeybadgerer]

That sounds like a way of getting killer sheep by accident. Just going "oh let's try cloning sheep but with crazy claws and a taste for murderrrr" and then you get the zombie killer sheep apocalypse.

[citharede]

I would totally watch that movie.

[ A PAUSE. ]

But okay, important question: how smart are these zombie killer sheep? Because that definitely effects my zombie killer sheep readiness plan.

[honeybadgerer]

Weeeeell.

They can coordinate but they can't use doors.

[citharede]

But they could probably ram through them. Hmm.

[ She chews on her lip for a second. ]

Well, first step in the whole end of the world scenario has always gotta be the sports stores. Get tents and rifles and shit. ...I wonder if zombie sheep meat would make you sick. Probably.

[honeybadgerer]

[ gabby nods sagely. ]

That's like the first rule of zombie sheep. Don't eat the sheep.

[citharede]

Such a waste.

Ooooh wait, can the zombie sheep virus jump between hosts? Like can it infect people or dogs or something?

[honeybadgerer]

Isn't that how zombieism works? It wouldn't be scary if it doesn't spread.

Otherwise we'd only lose New Zealand.