riverview | Entries tagged with original: jeff calhoun

[The post that appears first is a picture of poor Cameron Waltz from the Arts party. Where he's crying after his fantastic boyfriend Jeff has just serenaded him in public. Anyone who knows Alex knows that she's not the person who would put it up, and as soon as someone mentions it to her, it comes down and is instead replaced with an audio post.]

Yeah, sorry about that. [She assumes people 1. know that she wasn't the one who did it and 2. that the person who did it is gonna hear holy hell for it. Hear holy hell and also do penance which is what the rest of this post is about.]

While I've been living in America since college, I'm definitely a Canadian at heart. And in Canada, we have a proper Thanksgiving Holiday while America is celebrating Columbus day. [Yeah, the distaste in her voice for that "holiday" is totally palpable.] And before anyone makes a crack about copying America, our Thanksgiving started in 1578 and was made an official government holiday in 1879. For Americans playing along at home, that's 50 years before Plymouth Rock, and something like 90 before it became a federal holiday in America.

So, I'm inviting people to stop by tomorrow for turkey and stuffing and all the stuff that goes along with a proper Canadian Thanksgiving. We're not going to do a sit down dinner, not really, given that it's a Monday, but we're gonna have food and proper pumpkin pie which is not custardy and Nanaimo bars which are. I'm making them. I'm making them right now actually but don't worry, I've been making them since I was like ten. It's the only thing I can make other than coffee.

[Literally the only thing, because Alex burns toast.]

enveloped

[It's that man in the suit again, broadcasting live to you from a room currently being decorated with tables, lights, and tasteful decorations.]

Hello everyone,

To any newcomers, my name is Cameron Waltz, and I'm currently serving as your public representative. It's been a pleasure to get to know so many of you over the network, and I think we could all stand to get to know each other even better in person.

I'd like to extend an open invitation to the "Bring Yourself" arts and culture event this Sunday at Riverside Community Centre. This will be an exhibition of all the different cultures and people Riverview has to offer. Whether it's food, artwork, music, or a story, everyone has something of value to contribute, no matter where you're from, so I'd encourage everyone to bring a little piece of home to share with others. If you can't think of something to bring, or simply don't have the time or energy, bring yourself. You're from somewhere else too, and I guarantee you bring something interesting in just being yourself.

The walls are empty, the stage is free, there's an open floor for dancing and more active demonstrations, and the venue is booked for from 5pm-12am. Come when you want and wear what you like. Refreshments will be provided. I'm happy to answer any questions or concerns you may have on this post.

Please come. I'm well aware of the current going ons in the city, many of which are incredibly stressful, which makes coming together as a community and expressing yourself in a safe space even more necessary.

[Passing a few volunteers, Cam walks to the only wall with anything on it. A mixed series of artistic ink calligraphy prints in a variety of different languages.

Cam stops with a slight clearing of his throat, and a very casual gesture towards the prints. Very casual. Which he is not looking at. A tight, shy smile at the camera.]

And I will be putting myself out there right beside you.

[Bring whatever it is your character has to offer that they'd want to show, whether it's a martial arts skill, artistic ability, performance, food, an interesting object, games, there's nothing that doesn't go, characters are free to take the stage/set up a booth/do whatever they want in terms of display, and can drop pieces off or set up in advance! Feel free to be utterly ridiculous.

Event log!]

madeupnames

[There's a muffled and pained groan, one of a boy who has made terrible mistakes and is suffering horribly for it.

... And also a clear sound of someone sliding out of a bed and thumping on the floor — blankets and all, legs barely hanging onto the lip of the mattress.]

I am so, so sorry.

madeupnames

WOOOOOO—

[THUMP, CLATTER, A CURSE WORD THAT STARTS WITH 'MOTHER' THAT COMES FROM A POLITE LITTLE VOICE.]

Wheeew — Helloooo Riverview!

[There's a shuffling of feet as the familiar voice carries further away, like he's walking away from the feed. Someone calls distantly: 'Enjoy your glory years, kid!']

Thank you, sir! Where's the tram...? Which street again — Oh! I dropped my — [Dropped his phone. Oops. Right! He picks it up, squinting into the feed; Peter looks — well, drunk. He's very drunk. He whispers a little lower:] Hey, sorry, oops — sorry, it's late and I'm kinda noisy. I'll shut up. Shhhh.

[He staggers sideways in his attempt to sneak quietly, so there's that.]

Guys, I was, like, so worried about drinking? But I feel great! Mr. Wilson, thanks for helping me loosen up a little; I dunno why I was even nervous. I even did the karaoke thing on my own. Like, the thing on my bucket list? Man... It was so fun... I don't think I had that much fun in... I don't even know when. Heh. I love you guys. [He whispers in a giggle to himself, looking around and ignoring the feed for a moment:] I have noooo idea where I'm at... Oh, wait! that's Centerfield Lane, I'm doing great...!

But where's the tram again? Shit. Iiii mean 'crap'. Crap is what I meant.

Uuuuh. Hold on. [The feed blacks out again, and there's the telltale sounds of someone clearly climbing up a fire escape toward someone's roof. He's very coordinated for a drunk teenager.] There we go! I seeeee it now. Cool, awesome. Cool.

[He looks at the feed again, the background higher up.]

So I was thinking! I've been spending soooo much time moping about stuff I can't, uuuuh. Do anything about, so I was figuring... why not relax a little? I got this To Do List thing I wanna get done, and I was wondering if anyone wanted to help with it? It'll be fun!

I got stuff like — [He counts off on his fingers.] learning how to kniiit, surfiiing, learning origaaami... Holding a really big snake? When I was a kid I always wanted to face my fears and hold a snake, and I almost got a chance to, but then I remembered how scary snakes are and chickened out...!

[He waves at someone down below, sounding so happy.]

Heeeey! You wanna hug?! I have 'give a stranger a hug' on my to do list!

['Dude, what are you doing on a roof at eleven at night?!' the teenaged kid calls back.]

I'm drunk!

['I guess I can hug you?!' Peter fist pumps.]

Awesome!

[The kid down below yells back from cupped hands: 'Hey—! You're gonna break your neck up there! Get down!']

It's cool, I've got really good balance!

[He gives the guy a thumbs up. This is all still recording. Save him.]

gristle

[The voice you hear is a teenage girl, and she sounds a little disgusted. Whether or not this post was an accident is up for debate. But she'll respond either way.]

What the fuck kind of place is this? I thought the adults were supposed to care. Sure doesn't look like it.

I need a cigarette.

11calls

[Hey look, it's yet another post that does not happen at three in the morning. It seems that Alex is actually sleeping for the most part. It's kind of amazing. And she's also sounding extremely chipper, even if there is the faintest of whispers of 'Richard' from somewhere behind her. Look, she locked the thing in the drawer of her desk and it still keeps saying the name of the person she has a crush on. It's all Jeff's fault. But she's not going to mention it at all. Nope, it's not even happening. Instead, she's focused on something else.]

So I was talking with a friend recently, or at least recently-ish anyway about games. Like board games and things like that. Did you know that dice and games were used before recorded history on Earth? And that dice were found in tombs in Iran that date back to 2800–2500 BCE? So honestly, playing games is like something that really seems universal and kind of timeless as well.

Which brings me to my next question, and trust me I really do have a point. What sort of games did you play at home? Do you have copies here? What sort of games do you want to see if you have copies of?

I'm putting together a game night, either renting out a cafe, or if need be the school, and I'd like to include something from everywhere if possible. Board games, dice games, card games, it's all going to be welcome here. If nothing else, it'll be a nice distraction from everything else. [Everything else here meaning all of the love festival stuff that's going down.] And the goal is to play five games you've never played before, so come on down.

I'm not even limiting games like Monopoly or Uno or whatever. [Even though she probably should just based on her experience. She's also definitely not bringing Mario Kart. Alex does have some sense of fair play and wanting to keep friendships in tact. For now anyway.]

Also hi if you don't know who I am. I'm Alex. Alex Reagan. Welcome.

nobasisinfact

It seems someone felt it appropriate to put some sort of concoction in my tea. While not completely debilitating I find the results, irritating.

I'd appreciate it if someone happened to know exactly what idiotic concoction of the month is supposed to cause color blindness. Complete color blindness.

[There's a grumble after a few seconds.]

Because of course, this place would do something this stupid.

bardish

[ Here's Jeff Calhoun, wizard dad/teacher of youths, broadcasting live from his classroom at Gramarye. It looks a bit... chaotic right now, as there are winged origami hearts flapping around, and some kids equipped with butterfly nets and... y'know, magic, trying to round them up.

Amidst the chaos, the hearts are chirping out what sounds suspiciously like people's names, which the kids are reacting to with various degrees of shouted denials and peals of laughter.

Meanwhile, Jeff looks about as harried as if he's reporting from a warzone. But he puts on a nervous smile and waves at the camera. ]

Hey-- hi! Uh, so... one of my students got a little too into the spirit of Dragosta and brought these [ GESTURING TO THE BAT-WINGED MENACES. ] lovely cards in to share with his classmates and--

[ NO, he can't keep the charade up! ]

Okay, look, he pranked the class. And it's gone totally out of control! A batch of these little fuckers-- [ Cough. A student mock-gasps, 'Language, Mr. Calhoun!' Cue: adolescent giggling. ] --little... scamps... flew out the window, so if you see any? Don't be alarmed, and for the love of god, don't throw rocks or anything at them! If you miss, that projectile of yours will come crashing down on some innocent bystander, and I can't have that blood on my hands, because it's totally my fault for leaving the window open in the first place and failing to rule my classroom with an iron fist and--

[ BREATHE, JEFF. It's just, look, he's pretty sure this is some kind of karmic retribution for all the teachers he terrorized as a teenager, himself. ]

Uh, so just. Ignore them! They're harmless, really. All they do is follow you around shouting the name of whoever you might have a crush on.

[ Hence the kids' reactions to the various names the cards are shouting. Their secret crushes, revealed! It's totally embarrassing! ]

The enchantment should wear off in a couple of days!

[ Meanwhile, one of the origami hearts from hell lands on his desk and starts to chirp a name... but all it manages to get out is a 'CAM--' before Jeff's swatting it with a notebook. SHUSH, HEART.

...

Gosh, he actually feels kind of bad for smashing it with a notebook. Poor enchanted bat-heart... Jeff seems to remember he's still recording, so he flashes another nervous 'EVERYTHING'S FINE' smile at the camera. ]

Okay, that's all, I gotta get back to cleanup-- Bye!

[ But hey, FEEL FREE TO SAY YOUR CHARACTER'S BEING TERRORIZED BY ONE OF THESE HEARTS AS WE SPEAK. ]

enveloped

[The video starts with a tall, bearded man wearing a tailored suit sitting on the edge of a very executive looking desk in an equally executive looking office.

He smiles before speaking in a low, steady voice, his arms by his sides. Purposely left uncrossed. No fidgeting. He's comfortable in front of a camera, but not without practice.]

To be forcibly removed from our homes, support networks, and everything we’ve ever known is no small matter. For some, the experience can be traumatic. You may struggle with day to day life, or find yourself feeling unsafe in your new home. Holding down a job or making connections with other people can feel difficult, or even impossible, when you're uncertain of your environment and place within it. Everyone copes differently.

Very few of us asked to be here, and it's necessary the city is prepared to deal with the very real problems experienced by its displaced citizens, and accommodate their needs as efficiently and empathetically as possible in order to create and maintain a happy, healthy society. My name is Cameron Waltz, I'm a negotiator and cultural mediator from Earth, and I've been appointed the role of public representative to present our needs to the city council, and ensure our voices are being heard.

I'm looking for feedback on how your life has changed for the better or the worse since your arrival. I'll start with a few questions, none of which you have to answer, but would be very helpful in solidifying the case I'm building.

Please answer as honestly as you're comfortable. Anonymous commentary is allowed on this post, and you're welcome to be as vague or as specific as you'd like, without fear of discrimination.

I greatly appreciate any and all responses. With your help, we can find the holes in the existing social services system and work together to close them.

Thank you for your time.

--text attachment

-Have you felt adequately supported by the city, and its representatives?

-Do you struggle mentally or emotionally with your expatriation on a day to day basis?

-Are there aspects of life in Riverview you find more difficult than others?

-If you’re a minor, or know a minor, have you found the social services offered adequate?

-Are you satisfied or dissatisfied in the career provided for you? Do you find yourself changing jobs often?

-Do you struggle to make ends meet?

-If there's any one thing the city could do to improve your life, what would it be?

citharede

[ It's three in the morning when she posts this video.

Here is Athena, hanging her head and part of her torso off the edge of her apartment building's roof and filming herself upside-down, the dark streets below outlined in streetlights and marked by the occasional pedestrian. ]

How do you do, fellow kids. [ She dangles one arm alongside her head, hanging on to her device one-handed. ] I'm super fucking bored which I didn't think would actually be physically possible on a moon in another universe, but anyway.

Who wants to go on a firefly hunt? Catch a bunch of the fuckers, turn them loose in a department store. Or an office building. Or a coffee shop. Anywhere we can get in easy and run away fast. [ She rolls over so she's filming herself against the backdrop of the night sky now, instead of the street. ]

Whoever catches the most wins something, whoever gets bit loses automatically and has to go jump in the river.

secretarialhand

[When the video feed turns on, it shows a pale young elven man with an extremely calm demeanor, sitting at a desk made of heavy, dark wood, and anyone who's been to Gramarye Magic Research will recognize that wallpaper. His hands are folded neatly in front of himself, and he's dressed in a simple blue tunic, pierced ears lifted, alert and attentive.

Lifting his chin slightly, he pins the camera with a serious expression.]

Our name is Csevet Aisava, and we have recently been placed in charge of administrative tasks at Gramarye Magic Research.

[A pause.]

It is clear that whoever preceded us in this position was far more invested in research than paperwork. We would like to request that any in the employ of the Research Center please turn in copies of all necessary receipts and reports since...

[Another pause, and he lifts a hand to shift a paper into better view.]

...January first.

They may be left at our desk, or submitted by mail or electronically.

[That last word sounds awkward, as if he's only said it a handful of times in his life and doesn't entirely understand what it means. Csevet hates not entirely understanding things, and there's an undercurrent of that as well, his ears pulling back against his head a little.]

Our thanks.

bardish

WARNING DO NOT BUY USED FURNITURE OFF THE NETWORK!! Some of the sellers here are VERY unscrupulous! I am now the proud owner of:

- 1 cursed endtable (IT KEEPS INSULTING MY MOTHER WHEN I'M TRYING TO SLEEP??)

- 1 set of drawers that was housing a colony of space termites

- 1 mattress that is stained with either blood or cranberry juice or chocolate i'm not sure which. maybe all 3? now i have to sleep on a futon like i'm 19 yrs old again and it's KILLING my back

Anyway is anyone in the market for some gently used furniture?

[ jk jk he's not a big enough to dick to unload this NIGHTMARE FURNITURE onto anybody else. ]

relance

[The video clicks on with a blond woman sitting in a window in the communal residence. Well, half in the window, she's got one nearly naked leg braced against the window sill, and her other is dangling off below her. She's holding a black cigarette in one hand, and the device in the other. An oversized white shirt men's shirt, splattered with paint streaks covers a black cami and a rather small pair of shorts below it. When she speaks, it's after taking a drag of the clove and her voice has a subtle New York accent in it.]

So, kidnapped to a moon yada yada yada, got that. Things I need to know: where do they sell cloves for the love of fuck because if I have to quit smoking on top of all of this I'm going to lose my fragile little mind. Two: how does one go about finding studio space for artists. Clearly this whole camp set up isn't going to work for that especially because I'm supposed to be a freelance fine artist for my assigned job.

And three, at the risk of being redundant, I've heard there's all sorts of fun adults only things going on. So tell me, is lingerie night at Trixie's all it's cracked up to be? I never can turn down an excuse to be wearing stockings and heels.

Oh yeah, I'm Julia Bellamy. Just Julia, mmkay?

[She doesn't want to get into a fight on her first day here, so there's a warning about that.]

11calls

[This post is audio, and it's coming from Alex's office and she sounds a little... forced amused.]

Okay, so I know this is way later than we thought it'd be happening, but you know given the whole half the population coming down with the virus that was released in May, and then half of us getting kidnapped in June, it makes sense that it would be. But yeah, Pokemon Go is finally a go. Go out and play it! Go Team Red! That is a lot of "goes" in one statement! [There's a little laugh, but it's not full on Alex's. As for the team, it's not Alex has biases, it's just that she's Team Red, guys.]

On a more serious note, I'm hoping that some of our really techy people will take a look at this video and tell me if there's any sign of like CGI or whatever beyond something that we would be able to use back home. [There's no CGI or anything, it's real.] I already know that it's not been used if it's from my time or whatever. Even if you can't, I'm hoping that there's a way that this thing is like IP stamped or something by who sent it to me back home, so I can prove it's them. [Because fuck Thomas Warren.]

I'm not filtering the video away from anyone, but I should warn you that it's a bit... [Alex is just going to flounder here for the right word which isn't very Alex.] Creepy. It's creepy and sort of...demonic. But I promise it's not a jumpscare video, and it was taken back home and it just showed up on my device here. [Which is why Alex is at her office making copies of it, because she knows that it's going to be a thing.]

But I really do appreciate any help you guys can give me with it. [Please ignore the slightly desperate tone in her voice, she may have watched this multiple times already today.]

( Alex Reagan's very own creepy Black Tape. )

riverview network

Entries tagged with original: jeff calhoun

Seventh (lack of) sleep note. A picture and later a post.

video; @waltz

video. un: p.parker | the morning of september 20th (aka an epilogue to bad choices)

video. un: p.parker | don't drink and vlog, people

1st Stanza Audio UN:Marsh

Six (lack of) Sleep note. Game night. Audio as always sn@pnwsalex

(I refuse your merry making and offer annoyance instead) Voice: TheStrandInstitute

CAUTION: BEWARE OF STUDENTS (video; un: j.calhoun)

#1 video; @waltz

001 - shenanigans

@mer.aisava; video

DO NOT BUY FURNITURE FROM QUARANTINE CRAIGSLIST!!!! (un: j.calhoun)

Stroke 1: Video SN: Bellsareme

5th (lack of sleep note) one's very own black tape. Audio at first.

Links