video. un: p.parker | don't drink and vlog, people

[madeupnames]

WOOOOOO—

[THUMP, CLATTER, A CURSE WORD THAT STARTS WITH 'MOTHER' THAT COMES FROM A POLITE LITTLE VOICE.]

Wheeew — Helloooo Riverview!

[There's a shuffling of feet as the familiar voice carries further away, like he's walking away from the feed. Someone calls distantly: 'Enjoy your glory years, kid!']

Thank you, sir! Where's the tram...? Which street again — Oh! I dropped my — [Dropped his phone. Oops. Right! He picks it up, squinting into the feed; Peter looks — well, drunk. He's very drunk. He whispers a little lower:] Hey, sorry, oops — sorry, it's late and I'm kinda noisy. I'll shut up. Shhhh.

[He staggers sideways in his attempt to sneak quietly, so there's that.]

Guys, I was, like, so worried about drinking? But I feel great! Mr. Wilson, thanks for helping me loosen up a little; I dunno why I was even nervous. I even did the karaoke thing on my own. Like, the thing on my bucket list? Man... It was so fun... I don't think I had that much fun in... I don't even know when. Heh. I love you guys. [He whispers in a giggle to himself, looking around and ignoring the feed for a moment:] I have noooo idea where I'm at... Oh, wait! that's Centerfield Lane, I'm doing great...!

But where's the tram again? Shit. Iiii mean 'crap'. Crap is what I meant.

Uuuuh. Hold on. [The feed blacks out again, and there's the telltale sounds of someone clearly climbing up a fire escape toward someone's roof. He's very coordinated for a drunk teenager.] There we go! I seeeee it now. Cool, awesome. Cool.

[He looks at the feed again, the background higher up.]

So I was thinking! I've been spending soooo much time moping about stuff I can't, uuuuh. Do anything about, so I was figuring... why not relax a little? I got this To Do List thing I wanna get done, and I was wondering if anyone wanted to help with it? It'll be fun!

I got stuff like — [He counts off on his fingers.] learning how to kniiit, surfiiing, learning origaaami... Holding a really big snake? When I was a kid I always wanted to face my fears and hold a snake, and I almost got a chance to, but then I remembered how scary snakes are and chickened out...!

[He waves at someone down below, sounding so happy.]

Heeeey! You wanna hug?! I have 'give a stranger a hug' on my to do list!

['Dude, what are you doing on a roof at eleven at night?!' the teenaged kid calls back.]

I'm drunk!

['I guess I can hug you?!' Peter fist pumps.]

Awesome!

[The kid down below yells back from cupped hands: 'Hey—! You're gonna break your neck up there! Get down!']

It's cool, I've got really good balance!

[He gives the guy a thumbs up. This is all still recording. Save him.]

Comments

voice; @star.lord

[nostalgiabomb]

... Dude.








[ that's it. that's the response. ]

voice;

[madeupnames]

I am a dude, thank you for noticing!

[He almost says 'Spider-Dude' and realizes he's not in his suit.

Even if your inhibitions are porked, there are some things you just don't forget to do.]

You hungry? I'm starving! Wanna — uh, get some nachos? Nachos sound so good right now.

video, un: LOKIOFASGARD

[ikols]

I have a giant snake for you to meet.

[ A drunk Spider-Boy? Loki has seen worse shit with the Young Avengers lbr. ]

Did you say Sam gave you alcohol?

[ Look who's irresponsible now!! ]

video

[madeupnames]

I wanna meet the giant snake.

[He says it almost deathly serious, bless his soul.

At mention of Sam, the dopey smile returns though.]

Pssssht, yeah. Not tonight! Before, way before, back when I had a baby.

... I got an A on that project.

[wingedman]

[Sam just complains through the hands over his face.]

It was mostly orange juice!

video; un: j.calhoun

[bardish]

[ GASP. PETER, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A GOOD BOY!! ]

Peter Parker-- if I knew your middle name I would be using it right now! Get down from there-- safely! Safely and responsibly get-- [ Help, he doesn't know how to deal with teen intoxication, because his own child has yet to do something like this. ]

Where are you?!

video;

[madeupnames]

[He's not gonna say what his middle name is, because if he says it, he'll think more of Ben, and if he thinks more of Ben he's gonna start crying — like, he will seriously cry, don't even think otherwise. He stands there thinking for a long moment, squinting ahead like he's trying to decide if Mr. Calhoun is to be obeyed right now.]

I'm safely safe, Mr. Calhoun. I'm really good on my feet.

Check it out —

[He does a backflip, re-landing on the ledge. Are you having a heart attack yet from this?]

video; un: hawke

[indigobird]

[It makes her a Bad Adult, but Hawke's mostly just laughing at Peter's drunken antics and finding it way too amusing. Of course, Thedas doesn't have the strict drinking rules that Earth and other worlds do. Little children don't drink, mind, but kids Peter's age back in Thedas are already drinking, so Hawke doesn't see what the Big Deal is.]

Ohhh Peter, Peter, Peter. You and alcohol are new acquaintances, clearly. [Kid probably has like, three drinks in him max. Well, everyone has to start somewhere.] So what did you drink? How'd you like it?

video 1/2

[madeupnames]

[See!! This is totally how to be! Everyone relaaaax, it's not even a big deal!

He's not even tired or sick, he could do this all night!]

Yeah, yeah, we're best buds now—



[He burp-hiccups, covers his mouth, and looks visibly apologetic.]



Sorry.

video; un: hawke

[madeupnames]

I dunno what it was, but they were in really fancy colors with lil' bitty... blueberries... and oranges...

It didn't even look like liquor 'til you drank it.

[a pause in his rambling]

Wanna see me do a flip?

voice; @waltz

[enveloped]

I’m very curious to hear the rest of this to-do list.

[And if there’s anything more dangerous than what Peter’s already doing on it]

Peter, since you’re already out, would you be a dear and pick up a take-out order for me? I’ll pay you for the delivery.

I’m just so busy at work. Busy and hungry.

[Yes, he is attempting to manipulate a GOOD BOY via his GOOD BOY NATURE. The ends justify the means.]

voice; @waltz

[madeupnames]

It's a really good to-do list. Super solid.

[He looks very suspect, though.]

Why're you working at almost midnight, Mr. Waltz...

That's not healthy for your eyeballs.

[Don't mind him, he's walking along the edge of the roof like nothing's wrong.]

[wingedman]

[oh my god half the population of riverview is going to murder him for corrupting an innocent minor.]

Peter. Peter. You gotta practice moderation. And not making dumbass posts on social media.

[and, okay, both of these are perfectly normal parts of growing up, but he knows that everyone who meets Peter is overprotective of him]

Go drink some water, okay?

[madeupnames]

I thought those two things're specifically [He says that maybe a touch slower than he has any right to, but you know how it is.] what kids do. No moderation, and dumbass po—

Hey.

You're a dumbass post.

video

[mannerism]

You knew about this?

[ Run, Sam, run. ]

voice; @citharede

[citharede]

[ Athena has never been more glad that she properly introduced Peter to her Dads. ]

Dude, you got drunk by yourself? [ TRYING TO SOUND CASUAL. ] You could have at least invited me!

voice;

[madeupnames]

[He'd blush if his cheeks weren't already rosy, thanks.]

Sorry! M'sorry, I didn't think about that. I washn't even gonna, y'know? But they were offering me free drinks and you know, I was sweating at the word 'free' and then I drank and here I am! On a roof! I mean, I do that already, that's not new, but—

You wanna come hang out on the roof?

video; un: WICCAN

[wiccant]

Hey, are you doing okay?

( er. maybe not relevant. it's fine, he's got this: )

Want some company up there?

video;

[madeupnames]

[He grins in the most dopey of fashions, eyes barely open.]

I'm super. I'm so awesome.

... Are you hanging out on roofs tonight too, or...?

voice; un: SPEED

[expeditiousness]

Uhhh my dude, is this your first time getting drunk?

voice;

[madeupnames]

[He points at the screen like Tommy totally figured out the answer at a quiz show, excitedly.]

Yes.

Do you wanna go get some nachos? I'm so hungry, and I just keep thinking 'bout these nachos at this one place. I forget the name. But the nachos are so good.

video |

[mannerism]

Mr. Parker

[ those two words are distanced, chilly and simply horribly polite.

They also spell trouble. ]

video

[madeupnames]

[Oh no. His worst nightmare. He turns the video so it doesn't show his face, and puts on the worst Brooklyn accent ever.]

Who's Parker? Where's this Parker? Don't know 'em.

Video: TheStrandInstitute

[nobasisinfact]

[Peter gets to be the first kid to see Richard looking like an actual father. Anger and everything.]

Tell me where you are right now.

Video

[madeupnames]

[............]

That seems like a bad idea.

[Hiccup.]

audio: marsh

[gristle]

Snakes aren't scary.

audio

[madeupnames]

Snakes are so, so scary! S'pecially the ones that are big enough to eat you!?

There was this movie, Anaconda, I saw it when I was like five — so scary.

audio un:pnwsalex

[11calls]

[Alex doesn't sound angry, concerned with a mix of amused.]

Peter Parker what is it with you with roofs? Seriously!

Also whatever else you do tonight drink water and take four advil. You'll thank yourself in the morning.

[Because boy you are gonna have the worst hangover ever.]

audio

[madeupnames]

I'm the Roofman.

[He says it like he's Batman. But whatever. He leaps to sit precariously on the ledge, one hand gripping the corner of the building in a superhero pose. Alex don't panic.]