video. un: p.parker | don't drink and vlog, people

[madeupnames]

WOOOOOO—

[THUMP, CLATTER, A CURSE WORD THAT STARTS WITH 'MOTHER' THAT COMES FROM A POLITE LITTLE VOICE.]

Wheeew — Helloooo Riverview!

[There's a shuffling of feet as the familiar voice carries further away, like he's walking away from the feed. Someone calls distantly: 'Enjoy your glory years, kid!']

Thank you, sir! Where's the tram...? Which street again — Oh! I dropped my — [Dropped his phone. Oops. Right! He picks it up, squinting into the feed; Peter looks — well, drunk. He's very drunk. He whispers a little lower:] Hey, sorry, oops — sorry, it's late and I'm kinda noisy. I'll shut up. Shhhh.

[He staggers sideways in his attempt to sneak quietly, so there's that.]

Guys, I was, like, so worried about drinking? But I feel great! Mr. Wilson, thanks for helping me loosen up a little; I dunno why I was even nervous. I even did the karaoke thing on my own. Like, the thing on my bucket list? Man... It was so fun... I don't think I had that much fun in... I don't even know when. Heh. I love you guys. [He whispers in a giggle to himself, looking around and ignoring the feed for a moment:] I have noooo idea where I'm at... Oh, wait! that's Centerfield Lane, I'm doing great...!

But where's the tram again? Shit. Iiii mean 'crap'. Crap is what I meant.

Uuuuh. Hold on. [The feed blacks out again, and there's the telltale sounds of someone clearly climbing up a fire escape toward someone's roof. He's very coordinated for a drunk teenager.] There we go! I seeeee it now. Cool, awesome. Cool.

[He looks at the feed again, the background higher up.]

So I was thinking! I've been spending soooo much time moping about stuff I can't, uuuuh. Do anything about, so I was figuring... why not relax a little? I got this To Do List thing I wanna get done, and I was wondering if anyone wanted to help with it? It'll be fun!

I got stuff like — [He counts off on his fingers.] learning how to kniiit, surfiiing, learning origaaami... Holding a really big snake? When I was a kid I always wanted to face my fears and hold a snake, and I almost got a chance to, but then I remembered how scary snakes are and chickened out...!

[He waves at someone down below, sounding so happy.]

Heeeey! You wanna hug?! I have 'give a stranger a hug' on my to do list!

['Dude, what are you doing on a roof at eleven at night?!' the teenaged kid calls back.]

I'm drunk!

['I guess I can hug you?!' Peter fist pumps.]

Awesome!

[The kid down below yells back from cupped hands: 'Hey—! You're gonna break your neck up there! Get down!']

It's cool, I've got really good balance!

[He gives the guy a thumbs up. This is all still recording. Save him.]

Comments

[wiccant]

( there's a hand over his eyes and a very nervous peter talking as fast as he can to get billy to stop and for a moment, he does. because obviously peter's trying to hide something or doesn't want him to see something and maybe it's something he definitely wouldn't want to see, either--

except peter keeps talking and billy's bursting out into laughs by the time he finishes, hand raising up to cover his own mouth under the hand pressed to his eyes. )

I have three brothers. There is absolutely nothing you could have in your place that would phase me.

( including spidersuits. you can thank tommy for 90% of that. )

[madeupnames]

[Oh my gooooood.

He's turning. So red. But he keeps his hand up.]

It's — It's, uh —

It's a Iron Man shrine I'm working on! Super embarrassing fanboy stuff!

[Genius.

.... Look, he's too drunk to lie properly right now.]

[wiccant]

I've got a ridiculous collection of Captain America stuff. And Asgardian stuff.

( but he slides that hand up a bit anyway, under peter's. look, he's covering his eyes. absolutely is not looking at any of his things. definitely not. )

See you later, I guess? Since you don't want me seeing your embarrassing porn stash and your Iron Man shrine.

[madeupnames]

You do—?!

[No no Peter, focus.]

I, uh, I could, um — put the stuff away? If you wanna, I dunno, watch a movie or somethin'.

[He'd fall asleep the first ten minutes with what his blood alcohol levels are, but he feels rude just totally making him leave the apartment. That's just terrible manners, is what it is.]

[wiccant]

( it gets peter sitting down safely in his own house, which is an amazing idea, honestly. the hand doesn't lower, billy doesn't peek through. testing waters with someone who has super senses isn't a great. he knows better than that. )

Sure. I'll wait here for you to finish so I don't trip on anything.

( as soon as he raises a hand behind him and moves his fingers delicately, closing the door he'd opened. )

[madeupnames]

Gotcha! Thanks!

[The evidence of Spider-Man is very quickly moved to under the bed, of course, in a box that is very carefully labeled as 'extra kitchenware', because that's about as boring as boring gets. When it's all cleared up, he staggers back over to the magical door, considers it for a moment, and—]

Knock-knock!

[Don't you indulge him, Billy. Don't fucking do it.]

[wiccant]

Who's there?

( i'm so sorry for these absolute dorks.

a flash of light and the 'door' itself dissipates, leaving behind billy in peter's room and sparks of blue going everywhere before they, too, fade out. easy stuff. )

Finish hiding your shrine?

[madeupnames]

I sure did, yup, yuuuup!

[Now it's just other nerdy stuff. Bless his soul, there's still a shelf of action figures, clearly other heroes, some hardly from his universe. They just looked too cool not to get.

As he steps back, he nearly trips on his own feet; very good job, Spider-Man.]

I got a VHS player, too! Found it... in a... trash can...

[For heck's sake, Pete.]

[wiccant]

( it's cute, peter's various collection of nerd stuff. billy has close to the same: peter's seen his action figures. he would have witnessed more nerdy stuff, too, if teddy wasn't as good at picking up stuff as he is. )

Why would you want a VHS player? Do they even have any tapes here?

( peter, pls. not that he's focusing on that. instead, billy's attention shifts to the action figures, and the other items strewn about. )

This's nice.

[madeupnames]

I found a few, yeah! Mostly bad movies. S'why I did a bad movie night before.

[He holds up a flick.]

This one's Titanic: The Animated Musical.

[wiccant]

( nts: keep up with peter a little better. might be handy. )

The Animated Musical?

( he loves a good musical, but. )

Want to watch it?

( maybe he'll get peter to fall asleep. that'd be great. )

[madeupnames]

Yeayeayeah! Let's watch it.

[He's gonna just, put it on. Yes. He almost trips over a pile of texts books, bless. But it does end up on (hey now, I'm not so drunk I can't operate an ancient VHS player). And Peter ends up shoving a surprise bowl of mini candy bars into Billy's hands.]

Here y'go!

[It's really quite a fucking movie.]

[wiccant]

( a bowl of candy in his hands and billy makes himself comfortable on the couch, gives a soft hum of agreement and--why is he doing this to himself. why is he watching this. billy needs to be as drunk as peter is to watch this, jfc. but he settles for numerous candy bars instead, shoving them into his mouth one bar at a time.

while waiting for peter to fall asleep, wondering what the heck the person who made this was on. )

[madeupnames]

[Lucky you, it takes about 15 minutes of babbling before Peter Parker passes the fuck out, curled up hugging his dorky pizza slice-shaped throw pillow. It leaves time for Billy to relax a bit, enjoy some free candy before he peaces out.

Though he's more than welcome to snoop at the coffee table or the other VHS movies that are less stupid. There's even an old, ratty notebook on the table that has been lamely left out, showing a spiral notebook sheet where there are some new triumphs crossed out. Like 'OWN SPIDER-MAN MERCH'.

And 'get drunk', of course.]

[wiccant]

( billy is nosy, and as soon as peter is passed out he's turning off the television with the wave of his fingers, whispering a soft spell under his breath to summon a fluffy blanket into existence and tuck it around peter's shoulders. he heads to the kitchen area after, searches for a glass and fills it with water, leaving it on the coffee table with a smallish plate under it. that leaves peter taken care of.

and gives him an opening to snoop over the table a bit. candy bar wrappers are wished away with another flick of fingers (better on the environment than recycling) before he finds the list. eyes skim down it as lips purse tight, and billy--reaches for his back pocket, pulls out his starkphone and takes a of it.

it's not rude if it's for a good cause, is it. the list gets put back where he found it, billy checks the front door to makes sure it's locked, checks over windows making sure they're closed, too.

and teleports himself out. good night, sleepy drunk spiderboy. )